Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-17-2012, 05:41 AM
idealist's Avatar
idealist idealist is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
Posts: 545

Oh- okay....you are worried about your ability to satisfy her after she's been with him because you're thinking she may actually stretch out so that a smaller penis won't satisfy her any more. I seriously doubt that. you may need to contact Sue Johanson.
I was in a monogomous lesbian relationship for 12 years and we had sex an average of twice a week.....and I had an orgasm every time we had sex.....whereas that does not neccessary happen with intercourse.
So- from my perspective, as a woman, the orgasm itself has little to do with the size of the penis.....or with a penis at all for that matter......my hand held shower massage in the jacuzzi works fine!!
I guess I would ask this.....does she have an orgasm now- every time you have sex..... a real one....not faking it??
If yes- then I doubt that will change.
If no- then you may want to figure out how to change that!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.
Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2012, 06:43 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Its a strange way to date and a strange request to ask that a partners penis not be bigger. Men seem to be concerned about that kind of thing. At least some men, some don't care and I can tell you that the ones that don't have been better lovers. Why? Because they give it all they got with confidence. Anyone with confidence is far more sexy. I would be more concerned about that personally.

We had a thread once about a man that was concerned because his partners penis was bigger and it took days for her to get back to a size where he was pleasured and so was she. I dunno, seems everyone then was pretty surprised as that seems to be uncommon. Most people suggested then that he wait the days and ask her and him to make sure that time negotiation for sex was really respected due to his being affected so much.
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2012, 07:00 AM
BrigidsDaughter's Avatar
BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 822

Runic Wolf, Wendigo, and I read this thread together a few hours ago. Hence Runic Wolf's response. I've had sex with men of various sizes and I have to say that every penis is different. So even with a similar length and width; your wife will most likely have a different experience with the potential boyfriend.
Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2012, 07:22 AM
Phy's Avatar
Phy Phy is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 651

Same for Sward, Lin and me I have never had the 'same' sex with any of my partners. It was always different because sex tends to be as different as personality traits. I have never concentrated on size - ah well, once I did, but that guy was just soooo small and inexperienced that it ended with me having some kind of charity sex ... well, never mind getting distracted here.

Size never really mattered, experience, confidence and creativity is all good sex is about for me. Speaking in condom sizes, Sward and Lin are different, I never felt a difference in sensation when being with them on the same day. Don't worry about this stuff, start saving your energy for the arduous relationship work you will have to face in the future
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

My Blog
Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2012, 08:38 AM
monkeystyle monkeystyle is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: South of Chicago, IL
Posts: 149

I've always thought that many 'modern' men place more value on their penis size than in further developing their skills as lovers. Fascinating since they have no control over something they worry greatly about, and complete control over something they do very little about. Macho male culture plays a big part in that, I suppose. Their lovers end up the biggest losers in that struggle.
Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2012, 09:07 AM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,511

You mean whip out tape measure.....

And the answer is sure it could ...she could think about it every time she having sex with you to....Not just the size but his ability to use it better....that's just nature of the beast ...so to speak.

The cool thing is it cuts both ways....you could find a woman who's better at sex too.

Last edited by dingedheart; 01-17-2012 at 09:41 AM.
Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2012, 12:02 PM
polyq4 polyq4 is offline
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 106

In our quad my wife's bf has a penis that is about 3 inches longer, but the ladies both his wife and mine have no problem with mine (being about 7in) in fact his wife prefers my size. This is. A bit weird lol. And for all you women out there men do think about the other guys equipment and stuff, but all I can say is size does matter but not nearly in what you are thinking.

I would honestly take this off the table in poly discussions and if that is your only concern you are golden.
Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2012, 02:01 PM
gwendolenthefair's Avatar
gwendolenthefair gwendolenthefair is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 62

I am fond of men of size, and it's been my personal experience that sleeping with a partner significantly smaller than my husband can be a problem and bodes ill for the sex life I have with the other partner. It's not a length issue at all, it's a girth issue. I am used to well-above-average girth with my husband.

I have a past partner who was very small, girthwise, and our sex life was always problematic for me because of this. I simply could not feel him much. I tried not to let him know that this was the case because it was not something he could help, and I loved him. He figured it out anyway though, and it was a significant part of why we broke up after two years. His feelings of inadequacy took over and made him very, very angry at me, which was expressed with a whole lot of passive aggressive behavior and dishonesty, egged on by a jealous metamour. Bad scene. If I encountered a partner who was unusually small again, I would likely end the sexual relationship right away and transition things to friendship if I could.

Sleeping with a partner who is significantly larger than my husband, though, has never created problems in the sex life I have with him. I tend to enjoy the new partner's size a lot, but I'm still quite happy to be with my husband too.

I think it depends on the lady. Some ladies don't even like very large men. Some ladies do. I think anatomy has a lot to do with it, although there is definitely a psychological component too, at least for me.

I'd say, if she is enjoying sex with you now, I don't see why that would change.

Last edited by gwendolenthefair; 01-17-2012 at 02:05 PM.
Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2012, 08:38 PM
riftara riftara is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: GA / TX
Posts: 188

My husband is longer than my bf, and my bf has a slightly larger girth. The sex is different, and I enjoy both of them equally. Even when having sex with both of them in a 24hr period.

Vaginas are generally very elastic

As long as your sex life is good for both of you now, that shouldn't change. She may find things that he does better, but you will have things you do better too.

Of course, the difference in sex is a large part of why I have my bf, sexually anyway, There are things he does emotionally that just wouldn't work for John to do because of mine and John's relationship dynamic.

Let me put that more clearly... I dom John, F dom's me. Not in a very strict sense, but in general inadequate terms.
Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2012, 08:57 PM
INo INo is offline
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: United States.
Posts: 35
Default I agree with the others.

My wife's boyfriend is 2 inches longer than me. I don't let that interfere with the relationship me and Jess have. She loves sex with both of us. There are qualities of him that she loves and then there are qualities she loves about me. It's just different, that's all. As long as she loves you and treats you as a partner then you'll be fine. Try not to get so hung up on dick size.
Do what you are.
Reply With Quote

dick size, experience, lover, penis, sexual preferences, size, swinging

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 08:59 PM.