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Old 01-17-2012, 02:39 AM
polybi34 polybi34 is offline
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Default Does size matter?

My wife and I have recently joined the poly community. She is just starting to date other men, and we are looking for your experiences in order to help us decide some agreements. OK, here it is. I have a normal size penis, and we want to know if she is seeing someone with a bigger penis, will it affect her enjoyment of me? She's decided that if that is the case, she will choose her lovers to be of roughly my size. Can anyone share experiences on this?
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Old 01-17-2012, 02:56 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Default really?

I don't mean to sound snotty...but it almost seems like you might be joking....are you serious?
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Old 01-17-2012, 03:08 AM
polybi34 polybi34 is offline
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Yes, this is a serious question, thank you for making sure. See, she's been with larger men before, but only monogamously, so she doesn't know what it will be like having two lovers (not at the same time, but within a day or so of each other.)
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Old 01-17-2012, 03:22 AM
ForestFloor ForestFloor is offline
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Not to get all grade-school about it, but it's not the size of the equip but how you use it. Plus fingers. Plus tongue. And everything else. Just from my perspective, but I personally wouldn't see it as a problem IF you and your wife have a satisfying sex life. But that's an important IF.
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Old 01-17-2012, 03:43 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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okay- well, polyamory is a lot more than the size of a penis. It seems odd that you think of other men simply as a penis, but okay. I guess there is some fear of her finding someone she would rather be with?? Is that what is going on with you??

How would you feel if she meets a guy with a tiny penis, but he shares one of her passions (not sexual) that you don't share and they start spending time together pursuing this mutual passion?

If that makes you uncomfortable, then that could be a sign that you're asking the wrong question.....

just sayin'
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Old 01-17-2012, 03:50 AM
polybi34 polybi34 is offline
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I don't fear losing her time or attention. I fully trust her love and dedication and passion. I do not know how this medically works though. I know a woman can accommodate many different sizes, but what I want to know is how long does it take in between lovers for her muscles or whatnot to re-contract fully enough that she is just as satisfied by the smaller one as before she was stretched by the larger one.

While I appreciate everyone's hypothetical responses, I really am hoping to tap into this wide experience base. Surely there is someone out there who has experienced this, and can speak directly to it. From their personal experience.
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Old 01-17-2012, 04:11 AM
monkeystyle monkeystyle is offline
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A better place to get responses to this might be a swinger or hotwife forum. Most of the people here tend to focus on emotional and practical issues. Or even better for you might be Betty Dodson's site. Top notch people there for questions just like this.
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Old 01-17-2012, 04:37 AM
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I can answer this question. I've had lovers who I was seeing simultaneously (not literally in the same room at the same time, though that would've been hot, but I would see them within a day or two of each other frequently and there were at least one or two times I saw one the same day as the other), one of whom easily fit into a normal sized condom and one of whom absolutely needed an XL sized condom. I experienced absolutely no change in sensation with Mr. Normal after being with Mr. XL. Not an issue whatsoever. The vagina is very elastic -- after all, women can enjoy being fisted and then go right back to enjoying PIV sex for gosh sake's!
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Old 01-17-2012, 05:07 AM
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Now I'm thinking about it more and I'm just curious as to how choosing her lovers based on size would even work. Would she ask up front, would she only get involved with men who wanted to be sexual right away so that she could get a peek in their pants before deciding whether to pursue a relationship, or would she go on enough dates to get to the point where a relationship was forming and they both wanted to be sexual because the time seemed right and then dump the dude if he was too large?
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The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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Old 01-17-2012, 05:25 AM
RunicWolf RunicWolf is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
Now I'm thinking about it more and I'm just curious as to how choosing her lovers based on size would even work. Would she ask up front, would she only get involved with men who wanted to be sexual right away so that she could get a peek in their pants before deciding whether to pursue a relationship, or would she go on enough dates to get to the point where a relationship was forming and they both wanted to be sexual because the time seemed right and then dump the dude if he was too large?
"Excuse me. I am interested in, perhaps, going out on a date with you." *whips out a notepad and pen* "Can I ask, exactly, how big is your penis?"
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