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Old 01-21-2010, 04:56 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
The idea of reshaping the expression of "love" from one that entails a lot of physical intimacy to one that does not is something I thought about a lot. The idea is not to deny or try to ignore that feeling but to channel it in such a way that it is acceptable and healthy for both.
For me this represents a pure form of love which does not require one specific method of communicating but one that is allowed to adapt to the realistic conditions of the relationship.
I think all relationships are established based on the medium through which that affection is conveyed. It can shift, ebb and flow depending on the varying circumstances injected by reality.
Thats impressive. My...love is fairly boxed in. I don't like people easily, and I love people even less. My love's are also very specific to the person. I am fully capable of loving friends, and I do, I have a dear friend who I love and hold in very high regard. If this friendship were ever to shift to a sexual one (for example) it would be very difficult. My relationship with this new girl was sexual and loving...I fell in love. My wife fell in love. Shifting it from the "lover" box to the "friendship" box is very difficult. My emotions and how those states operate are not fluid.

That said, I am learning, reading posts and trying to adapt. I am taking the advice as I see it and using it and in the end, I will come out the end a better person.

Try to focus on what is real and do your best to communicate in a way that promotes that affection. Of course having the line blurred will not help you. Perhaps discussing a change in communication and behavior to keep the boundary clear is in order?
Right now, I am taking ceoli's advice, or trying. I am taking a break, going out with other friends and in the end trying to create some space. If I can create more distinct line, and enjoy being on the other side of it...maybe we can build our friendship stronger.
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Old 01-21-2010, 11:54 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

Well I thought and planned on coming back and writing-but honestly-what I would say is basically what Mono said.
SO I will just say-I pretty much see things like Mono described.

IT DOES work better if there is a gap of time between one "relationship format" ending and the next beginning.
I usually limit my contact for 1-3 months and then start slow, a phone call here or there, then an invite to a group activity (like a bday party)...
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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