Poly networking

[CielDuMatin]

My answer not good enough, eh?
(Wasn't sure if you meant to post the question twice or not)

[LovingRadiance]

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin

I think that's a great way of approaching it - I have friends with whom I have some interests in common, and not others - I do those things with them that we have in common and they can do the other things they enjoy without me.

If the topic of conversation starts to be limited to those activities, of course, or if I feel pressured to do those things, then that may change how I feel.

Excellent.

Great conversation guys!

Love your input Mono.

I agree wholeheartedly.

We have a "bikers group" where we live-in fact there is a "state" group, there are "city" groups, in the "city" group where we live there is are a lot of "little groups".

When it's a safety topic-(often do rides to support topics around here) everyone who can shows up for sure-because ALL of the bikers have the issue of needing other motorists to BE AWARE of us.

But when they do the yearly "bike blessing" in Palmer not everyone shows up (I never went) AND people from other parts of the state DO show up.

When they have a Harley ride-well duh-the Harley riders show up!

There are groups of people who prefer cruisers, groups who prefer "crotch rockets" (me). BUT even within those smaller groups-there are "mini groups" by age, gender (everyone notices when a group of ladies goes out), people who work together etc.

And yet-when we ride, EVERYONE does the "one hand out and down" wave to EVERY other biker they see on the road no matter what (ok, exception, brand new riders tend not to, but they learn fast) because though we differ greatly in many areas-we recognise we still have riding on the roads in common.

Same with relationships.

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin

I'll try, since I used it....

Descriptive means that a term describes someone. Prescriptive means that it dictates how someone should act.

So let's take a non-relationship example - if you are a vegetarian and suddenly for some reason get a craving to eat a juicy steak once a week, you have two choices. You can say to yourself "I know that eating a steak would violate my being vegetarian, but I really want to eat this steak regularly so I will stop calling myself a vegetarian". That is using the term descriptively - it describes your actions.

If, however, you were to say "I am a vegetarian. Vegetarians don't eat meat, so therefore I shall not eat meat." That is using it prescriptively.

Hope that makes sense - maybe someone else can come up with a better example.

Found this example, too - http://www.existenceiswonderful.com/...scriptive.html (the latter section)

How about: I am poly, so therefore I should be able and want to fuck all my friends and lovers. Would that be prescriptive? That is what I am feeling about poly today there's a bit of ygirl in me.... If I can be so bold.

I think I like descriptive better.

[sisterinlove]

How about, I am poly, so my heart is big enough to love more than one person, and I am secure enough to admit it.
At least that is my version of poly.

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by sisterinlove

How about, I am poly, so my heart is big enough to love more than one person, and I am secure enough to admit it.
At least that is my version of poly.

Yay! I will hang with you my friend!

[Ceoli]

Originally Posted by redpepper

How about: I am poly, so therefore I should be able and want to fuck all my friends and lovers. Would that be prescriptive? That is what I am feeling about poly today there's a bit of ygirl in me.... If I can be so bold.

I think I like descriptive better.

I'm wondering if the experience you're having with the culture of your particular individual poly group is translating into a perception that it must be the same for poly cultures everywhere.

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by Ceoli

I'm wondering if the experience you're having with the culture of your particular individual poly group is translating into a perception that it must be the same for poly cultures everywhere.

No, haha! I'm just frustrated and tend to get sarcastic when I get this way. Just trying to figure it out. I think I am actually coming to terms with it now actually. I don't think I have ever been this open to ALL of poly's dynamics before.

[NeonKaos]

Originally Posted by redpepper

How about: I am poly, so therefore I should be able and want to fuck all my friends and lovers. Would that be prescriptive? That is what I am feeling about poly today there's a bit of ygirl in me.... If I can be so bold.

I think I like descriptive better.

I know I post a lot while under the influence of alcohol, but where/when did I say I was able to and want to fuck all my friends and lovers? I have no memory of that.

Unless you're thinking of someone else who goes by the name YGirl...

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by YGirl

I know I post a lot while under the influence of alcohol, but where/when did I say I was able to and want to fuck all my friends and lovers? I have no memory of that.

Unless you're thinking of someone else who goes by the name YGirl...

Sorry ygirl, I meant the pessimistic way of being sarcastic, not the content of the message.

[NeonKaos]

Originally Posted by redpepper

Sorry ygirl, I meant the pessimistic way of being sarcastic, not the content of the message.

Oh right! Gotcha!