I need some help.

[Derbylicious]

From her age I'm guessing that this is pretty early in her relationship life. Depending on how she has been brought up it can take years to understand what you really want. In your teens (and early 20's) part of your growing is learning what you want out of a relationship. I think that her wanting to flirt with others is likely a safe way to try out this new idea of poly that has just been sprung on her. Maybe it will turn out that she is poly and maybe it will turn out that she isn't. The process of discovering yourself can take years. If you like her and enjoy her company just go with it and enjoy the relationship for what it is.

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by Derbylicious

I think that her wanting to flirt with others is likely a safe way to try out this new idea of poly.

This, all the way, this.

[nycindie]

Originally Posted by yogos

...why would she tell me she'd flirt with other guys if she prefers a monogamous relationship?

Flirting is just flirting. It's not about pursuing relationships, it's just fun to get attention and see a response from others. It can help a person's self-esteem and be a way to practice socializing, too.

She wants to remain monogamous but is obviously glad you won't get all upset and bent out of shape if she flirts with someone else. She's even said she'll flirt in front of you, to make you happy. Why is that not enough for you?

This is a new relationship, just getting started. You are still getting to know each other. The both of you are young. She is underage. You should not be expecting her to have sex with others just to please you.

If you want to continue seeing her, respect her wishes. If you want a cockold relationship where you get to watch your gf have sex with other guys, she is not the one for that. If that is a deal-breaker, then I suggest you look for someone who is of legal age. But keep in mind anyone who participates in that with you should want to do it for their own satisfaction, not yours.

[yogos]

Thanks for all the advice!

[vermin06]

There's nothing anyone could say that would make her comfortable with supporting multiple romantic relationships, or to want to be physical with anyone other than you. She may have said she would flirt with other guys because she thought it'd make you happy, but if she's really not okay with it, don't pressure her. From what I can tell, part of a good polyamory philosophy is to do what feels good, which means not forcing yourself to do what you don't like.

Hope that helps!