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  #71  
Old 01-15-2012, 04:06 AM
iDKYbutIlikePETmonkeys iDKYbutIlikePETmonkeys is offline
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ThatGirlInGray,

In my opinion, it could be that bi's are more open to poly. I think that individuals that have either considered or mindfully strive for poly lifestyle are most likely individuals that have, for whatever unique reasons, questioned the 'validity' of the hetero-monogamous-norm lifestyle. I presume (but really assume) that poly lifestyle peeps at one point had some existential or 'why' moment which they questioned if the idea of a man and woman marrying, maybe is not the most optimal or 'only' lifestyle approach to living.
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  #72  
Old 01-15-2012, 06:58 AM
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Love it! GREAT topic ! I finally admitted to myself that I am Bi when I was around 22. I met my (now) husband very shortly after that and he was the first person I came out to. (Awwww) . I am very much into the butterflies in my tummy and the near agony of not knowing how the other person feels about you, so once the newness wore off I started getting restless. We were playing WoW (mmorpg for those of you with your heads in the gaming sand) when I met a boy. He and his wife were in a polyamorous relationship, so after I fell head over heals for someone else, I broached the subject with my hubby. I didn't tell him that I had someone in mind, just that their relationship sounded awesome and lucky me, he agrees! Anyway, long drawn out story short, agreed. Mmos and polyamory seem to have a corrilation (sp?) . It happened to me!
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  #73  
Old 01-15-2012, 03:37 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by NovemberRain View Post
I dated a lovely bi man in college. Okay, he was pretty, not so much lovely. REally pretty. One morning, in his tiny dorm room, we were spooned up in his bed, facing his roommate. Roommate reached one bare, muscled arm down to squish an aluminum can that was on the floor. PrettyBoy and I both took a breath and shuddered. Such an odd experience to appreciate a sexy other WITH someone.
That's hot!

miss pixi and I always check out other hotties out on the street or on TV, together. It's really fun to point them out to each other. We have similar tastes.
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  #74  
Old 01-15-2012, 06:30 PM
OpenandCountry OpenandCountry is offline
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Really love this thread! couple of things people have said that I can fully relate to...

1. We are the forgotten letter of the LGBTQ (bi's are just "confused" to some...grr)

2. As a bi, poly woman, many would assume that I'm poly simply so I can have a man and a woman in my life. (Untrue! I love multiple people, not multiple body parts)

3. Many people who are (rightfully so) Pushing for gay marriage rights view poly and bisexuality as a threat to their cause because it doesn't fit into the "we're just like hetero married couples, but with the same parts!" paradigm. (to clarify, I am VERY pro-gay marriage)

I thoroughly enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts/opinions!
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  #75  
Old 01-15-2012, 07:30 PM
Carrie Carrie is offline
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Originally Posted by Monochrome View Post
When Gray and I were dating, early on when dalliances with others first started to be discussed, she asked if I would be more insecure with her being physically intimate with guy or a girl. She seemed rather surprised when I said, after a moment's thought, that I would feel better with her finding another guy. I reasoned that I can at least compete with another guy, having equivalent physical accoutrements, whereas a girl could offer Gray things I physically could not.
Late to this thread, but I can relate to this, MC.

When I found out BF was bi, I felt like, "How can I compete with a guy?" As it is, BF is only orally bi. Which just goes to show that it is about the parts in that case (and just about sex,) which is why I also find it less threatening. And insists he's not interested in going further than oral because of childhood sexual abuse.

How this relates to poly for us, I'm not sure. I suppose I've been bi-curious, but more in a "how would it be to share a sexual encounter with BF and a woman kind of way." I do think that a lot of men don't see a woman dating their female partner as a threat - and may even hope it leads to a threesome for them.

I don't mean to push any buttons. I know that bisexuals and/or polys don't want to be thought of as sluts, as someone said upthread. As my BF said, just because he's bi doesn't mean he wants to blow every guy, anymore than he wants to sleep with every woman.

Sorry, if I've strayed off topic about the sex stuff - especially when poly isn't necessarily about sex(?).
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  #76  
Old 01-15-2012, 07:42 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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To my understanding, some gay men don't like anal sex and so don't engage in it even though they're fully and exclusively into guys, physically and emotionally. So I wouldn't see a lack of interest in going "further" than oral as saying anything about the level of a man's interest in other men. Not trying to say anything about your husband at all, just wanted to point that out.
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  #77  
Old 01-15-2012, 11:35 PM
riftara riftara is offline
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I can honestly say I didnt read everyones replys before posting this.

I identify as bi-sexual and for the first time Im in love with a woman, though Ive considered myself bi for many years.

We are also big nerds! Skyrim is our mutual obsession at the moment - I had to get it for the PC to get any play time in, F is on the Xbox from the time he gets home from work until bed most nights, unless we have people over, playing D&D or having a party.

F's girlfriend seems the odd-ball, not a gamer, or a nerd like the rest of us.

I dont know if I was bi or poly first, I loved two men from highschool, and Ive loved R for over a decade, so right now I love (in a sexual way) 4 people, in a relationship with 2 of them.
But then again I feel love for my close friends too. Its a totally different kind of love of course, but its there.

ETA - Im also pagan and so is John, F is nothing really, and T is not devout either.
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  #78  
Old 01-15-2012, 11:36 PM
Carrie Carrie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
To my understanding, some gay men don't like anal sex and so don't engage in it even though they're fully and exclusively into guys, physically and emotionally. So I wouldn't see a lack of interest in going "further" than oral as saying anything about the level of a man's interest in other men. Not trying to say anything about your husband at all, just wanted to point that out.
I'm not saying he's bi because he only likes oral. I'm saying he doesn't like anal with men. He's fine to do it with me. From what he's told me, he's never been into men emotionally. He says it was more of being assimilated into that lifestyle due to his family and his culture. Sex was sex. Didn't matter who it was with. Sex was a way to feel loved.
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  #79  
Old 01-17-2012, 07:55 PM
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rory rory is offline
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Originally Posted by OpenandCountry View Post
Really love this thread! couple of things people have said that I can fully relate to...

1. We are the forgotten letter of the LGBTQ (bi's are just "confused" to some...grr)
As an OT I would point out that I do think that T is an even more forgotten letter, in many occasions.

To the topic. One of the very few things I don't enjoy about having a husband and a girlfriend is that it reinforces people's beliefs about how bisexuals need to have one of each. Then again, you're always going to reinforce some idiotic stereotype or another, there's not much you can do about that.

For me though, I realised being bisexual only after I started a relationship with my now-husband. After that, my sexuality has has gradually changed so that I've gone from kinsey 3 towards kinsey 6. I didn't go into poly because I needed a woman, I started a relationship with a woman because I met somebody I liked. But I don't think I could have lived my whole life only having a relationship with a man... so you could say that poly saved our marriage. [But then again, not sure I fit bisexual, but don't really fit lesbian either with a husband... So, anybody can decide for themselves if they regard this to be in any way relevant to this thread.]
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  #80  
Old 01-19-2012, 01:21 AM
cjmobxnc cjmobxnc is offline
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Originally Posted by km34 View Post
My husband plays strategy games (used to LARP in high school), but nobody else that I know who is poly is a gamer. Fiona is atheist - looking into Buddhism. I still identify as Christian although I don't really believe any religion is right for me. However, I did practice shaking off societal norms years ago when Keith and I decided to start swinging so I'm sure that that helped me embrace this part of myself more than I realize.
I used to play World of Warcraft and Guild Wars, but I'm concentrating on my school now so I don't really have much time to do the MMORPG's any more.

On the other hand, I just recently got a Kindle and have started playing Words with Friends.
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