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  #41  
Old 01-05-2012, 08:50 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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I would say that's as good a reason as any to want to explore poly!

I don't know much about kink. I'm fine with whatever consenting adults want to do, but beyond some VERY light BDSM I have no desire to be involved in it. TGIB (partner) has had an online D/s relationship and he and I have talked about trying it, but ultimately decided there wasn't any point for us. Have you noticed a big overlap between the kink community and LGBTQ community in your area? That's one I haven't paid attention to around here.
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  #42  
Old 01-05-2012, 09:19 PM
Iktomi Iktomi is offline
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actually, i haven't seen much overlap at all between the kink and LGBTQ community, but there's a sizeable overlap between the kink and poly communities. on the other hand, most of the kinky women i know are pansexual or bisexual, but not part of the LGBTQ community. i think a lot of us are not involved with the LGBTQ community because we have male primaries, so we can essentially pass for straight (even though i'm very involved in LGBTQ rights). also the LGBTQ community is largely distant from anything to do with polyamory, because most are monogamous and trying to distance themselves from the stereotype that queer = slut. therefore i haven't seen much support at all for bi poly people in the LGBTQ community. now the pagan community... i find the pagan community much more supportive of polyamory and bi/pansexuality.
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  #43  
Old 01-05-2012, 09:55 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Interesting, it's quite different in my city, the queers and the kinksters overlap heavily. Our premiere dungeon was run by a lesbian until just recently and in our local queer women's cabaret group we have many openly bi members and make frequent references in our skits to kink. I think it's because there's a sizeable radical streak in both groups around these parts -- we support each other because we're all ready to fight for more freedom for all of us.

Of course, I'm sure there are more "respectable" queers and more conventional kinksters (as weird as that sounds) here who would never see a need to interact with each other... I just don't know those people.
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  #44  
Old 01-06-2012, 08:27 PM
km34 km34 is offline
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My husband is now exploring his kinky side by trying to get involved in a local group or groups, and actually commented on the LACK of overlap. Apparently the people who say they are looking for poly are actually just looking for play partners, not love. So apparently in our area, at least with the groups/individuals Keith has found, not much of a link between those two.
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  #45  
Old 01-06-2012, 08:57 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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I think that most people have the potential to be both poly and bisexual/pansexual.

I think the reason we see overlap between the groups is that members of any group outside the societal norm have been forced to do a lot of thinking and introspection about what is acceptable and what they need to be happy.

Anyone who does that kind of thinking is bound to discover other things about themselves unrelated to the original topic.

That being said, at our local bi group last month, there was a man who completely freaked out at the concept of polyamory. I wasn't there, but his reaction was described as a "trigger" meaning there was something in his personal history that caused him to feel so strongly about the issue.

So my point is, there isn't a 1-to-1 correspondence between bi and poly, and being a member of the one doesn't necessarily make you tolerant of the other.
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  #46  
Old 01-07-2012, 10:16 AM
Sonic Sonic is offline
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Where I come from, the BDSM scene is very much hetero-oriented and mainstream.

However, I'm queer, my partner is queer and there is a big overlap in the political queer scene with the polyamorist scene.

Someone once told me that there are two kinds of polyamorists - the activists and the nerds. I agreed.

But for me, the bottom line in life, love and everything is being an anarchist. This has to do with all my lifestyle choices. Be it queer anarchism (resisting cis-centrism for example), building radical communities or seeing your relationships in a radical way (i.e. D/s or something along those lines).
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  #47  
Old 01-09-2012, 02:14 PM
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RfromRMC RfromRMC is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iktomi View Post
actually, i haven't seen much overlap at all between the kink and LGBTQ community....
Well, not much overlap...more like they have separate kink communities. The gay male leather/bdsm scene is alive and well (though very underground). It's just a very isolated, separate community that doesn't have much overlap with the straight kink community because it's so male-on-male oriented. And not much overlap with the mainstream gay community because, of well, the kink/taboo factor.

Quote:
also the LGBTQ community is largely distant from anything to do with polyamory, because most are monogamous and trying to distance themselves from the stereotype that queer = slut. therefore i haven't seen much support at all for bi poly people in the LGBTQ community.
Yeah, I've lamented about this in multiple threads and forums. I tried hard to get some type of poly discussion event at our local LGBT center and I just get the run-around. (It's like they're afraid to out-right say No.)
Suffice to say my opinion is that the power-brokers of the LGBT rights movement seem so marriage-oriented these days that anything they see as counter to that, they freak out and try to avoid. The above-mentioned leather community has already been a victim to that stigma as it is...polys now, too.
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  #48  
Old 01-10-2012, 05:18 AM
Sonic Sonic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RfromRMC View Post
Suffice to say my opinion is that the power-brokers of the LGBT rights movement seem so marriage-oriented these days that anything they see as counter to that, they freak out and try to avoid. The above-mentioned leather community has already been a victim to that stigma as it is...polys now, too.
I agree when it comes to the mainstream LGBT movement.

But the radical queer movement/scene is totally different, also with regard to poly people. At least where I come from. However, it's not easy if you're straight and involved in the queer scene, a lot of prejudice there towards straight people :/
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  #49  
Old 01-10-2012, 08:06 PM
Iktomi Iktomi is offline
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ha, being a female, i know nothing about the gay leather scene, but i'm sure it is out there. in fact, i think there are probably sub-scenes which overlap, but it's hard for a newbie to find those. a lot of my friends are pagan, and i am happy with the pagan scene overall, as it's pretty accepting of differences. as a bi/pan woman in a marriage with a bi male, i found i'm not very welcome in the GLBTQ community, although the theater community overlaps a lot and i am welcome there.
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  #50  
Old 01-10-2012, 08:17 PM
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RfromRMC RfromRMC is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iktomi View Post
as a bi/pan woman in a marriage with a bi male, i found i'm not very welcome in the GLBTQ community,
Infuriating to say the least. It's like they constantly forget what the "B" stands for. Crap like this is why I tend to hang out in poly circles more than gay ones. As someone who's both, I can count on the poly's to embrace my gay side more than I can the gays to embrace my poly side. Sad in a way.
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