Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-23-2016, 03:18 AM
Gria2004 Gria2004 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 22
Default When Asked

Hi when your asked on dating sites or life do you come out and say your polyamorous or do wait? What do you say when people ask if your married or seeing anyone. Do you say your dating someone or do you say your dating two people when you are? Who knows what you are?
Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2016, 07:52 AM
tenK tenK is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 457

When I'm on dating sites I am explicit that I am in an open relationship, and what kind of new relationship I am seeking. In face to face interactions, it depends on the nature of the enquiry. If someone is making small talk and asks about whether I'm partnered, I tell them about my life partner Nina, but don't offer further information as to whether our relationship is open or closed. If they are asking in an 'I'm hitting on you' kind of way, and I am interested, then I will tell them about Nina but perhaps also explain that we both see other people. If someone were to ask me outright, even if I were not interested in being in a relationship with them, then I would answer honestly. I feel I'm not ashamed in any way to be in an open relationship, but at the same time, my love and sex life really isn't a stranger's/loose acquaintance's business, so I keep it private.
People tenK (bi, f, early 30's) is likely to blabber on about, and why:

Nina (bi, f, late 20's) <- life-partners with tenK; Scandi (hetero, m, early 30's) <- dating/fwb with tenK (on hiatus at the moment); Zymurgist (hetero, m, early 30's) <- dating with tenK; Aries (heteroflex, m, late 40's) <- fwb with tenK and Nina;

Adam (bi, m, early 30's) <- dating/fwb with Nina
Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2016, 03:02 PM
Bluebird's Avatar
Bluebird Bluebird is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,071

I am out and open to everyone. On dating sites, I list that I am married with two husbands, and explain what type of relationship I am looking for.
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal

Me, center of a MFM V-shaped polycule (39F)
Wife to DarkKnight (40M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (42M)
Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2016, 05:24 PM
InsaneMystic InsaneMystic is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 260

I am completely open about both being poly and about being asexual. On my OKC profile page, I stated both very clearly.
Single since Feb 6th 2015. Unlikely to be in a relationship again any time soon, if ever.
Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2016, 12:10 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I tend not to use the word polyamory because most people who aren't familiar with what it is think it's swinging. So I just tell people I don't need exclusivity in my relationships.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2016, 12:27 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 12,371

Hi Gria2004,

If someone asks you directly, especially on a date or dating site, I suggest you answer simply and honestly. In fact, don't necessarily wait for them to ask. Volunteer the information early on.

My 2,
Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2016, 06:22 AM
vinsanity0's Avatar
vinsanity0 vinsanity0 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 747

On dating sites I am very straight forward so as not to waste anyone's time. In my personal life I am open to people if the conversation goes that way.
Vince 53/het/m
Cat 51/bi/f in a relationship together 22 years, recently passed away
Sprite 43/bi/f friend, lover and play partner
Elle 41/het/f flaky FWB...was dating seriously
Mary 53/het/f mono lifelong friend
MK 55/het/f ex-wife, ex-play partner+
Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 09:36 AM.