#21
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Just Rob now. That's all. ![]() In North Carolina? Check out: facebook.com/ncPoly In Raleigh/Durham? Check out www.meetup.com/TrianglePolyamory |
#22
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Bisexual, Hinge of a Vee with a mono boyfriend and poly husband. |
#23
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Bisexual, Hinge of a Vee with a mono boyfriend and poly husband. |
#24
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Male M, struggling noob. |
#25
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I suppose I should update - I appreciate all of the feedback.
I had a "meeting" with FM and they didn't fail to make it the most awkward thing ever. I went in there with the plan to be very open & honest and because they were being so awful and weird I ended up just giving a big "Im fine. BF & I are fine. Im happy. Don't bring it up to me or anyone else I know again. This is entirely NONE of your business". & they proceeded to tell me that to live this lifestyle Im clearly unhappy with what I have and I put my hand up, nicely, and said "Again, Im happy. Were good. Thats enough". I left shortly after, there was nothing else to say. It was good in a way for me to be called out but harder for me to assess where my "relationship status" lies. It seems when people you are close to (or supposed to be?) start to questions your decision, I start to question it as well. Almost as if I feel they are of a higher knowledge than I am with regards to my decision (obviously they are not, but I suppose with this lifestyle being VERY new to me, its sometimes hard to wrap my head around). The way I see it, as long as my partner and I are on the same page - everyone else can keep to themselves. If we're happy and connected and honest and open, I could give a ---- about what anyone else thinks. I dont live my life for them ![]() |
#26
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Exactly!
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#27
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Good for you!
I totally get where you're coming from- we're the same way with "As long as the three of us know and agree with what's going on, that's what's important!" and I'm usually a-ok with that, but I'll admit I felt validated when I found stuff in the Definitions thread that described our situation EXACTLY. It's hard not to have moments of questioning or doubt when you're doing something other than the mainstream, especially when someone you feel you should be listening to is bringing up those questions and doubts, so those times of "Oh look, other people do this! It CAN work!" are important too. ![]()
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~~~~~~~~~ Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack |
#28
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Yikes!
Yup getting outted and hen pecked by a family member has got to go a long way to making you feel squicky and even maybe reduced to child status for having to defend things that was never suppose to be their business in the first place. What would this person blame it on if you and your partner DID have a relationship blow up and they didn't have this easy and waiting scapegoat to hassle you with? Are they usually this much of a busybody to the rest of the family? I too, for coming from a very strict religious family, use to fear their judgement. Not anymore though. Kinda hard to get me there now since it took so much less "radical" behavior out of me to get them to disown me outright. All I had to do was not believe and not be politically conservative. ![]() |
#29
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Oh Well done !!!
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Male M, struggling noob. |
#30
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Thanks for updating, I was curious how this turned out. I do think that the longer you live with anything (drastic new haircut, new hobby, a given career path, poly) the easier it is to be confident about if it's right for you, as well as to be comfortable answering questions about the subject and not caring what other people think about it. Good for you for the way you handled it!
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Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have. |
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boundaries, coming out, family |
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