Anam Cara - Soul Friends

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by Ravenesque

But it seems you are saying you cannot describe either

hm, I'm not sure River was saying he cannot describe either. Obviously this is of interest to you and you know something about what you are calling Anamchara. What are your thoughts on it....? I really don't have a clue what your personal experience is of love and anything about your relationships in terms of depth. I noticed you said that you are "looking for connections which are deep and holds resonance for me. Those connections may not be considered deep or hold resonance for others," how are you doing this, how is it going for you, how are you doing this in terms of Anamchara? I would like to know from you what is the basic understanding of human loving? And what would be your adequate language to discuss loving? Perhaps a thread to that question? It is a long one to answer for sure. I'm sure there are a lot of people with differing views...

[midnightsun]

Originally Posted by Ravenesque

It spoke of soul friends and a Anamchara ritual which friends may undertake together acknowledging their bond as well as reinforcing it. Anamchara is not a simple concept.

~Raven~

Getting back to the topic of soul friends... I would love to know more about the ritual where Anamchara acknowledge and reinforce their bond. There are always those people in our lives with whom the bond goes far deeper than mere friendship. I always end up refering to them as a sister, or near-sister, or like a brother. This is so much more descriptive! And yes, it's not a simple concept, nor a simple thing to find.

And there are so many who treat friendship as a fleeting convenience these days rather than honoring the exchange of ideas, good will & positive energy that surround a true friendship. It seems like it would be a beautiful way to honor the truly significant bond that is so rare and precious. I may just have to track down that book!

[River]

Originally Posted by Ravenesque

You asserted that most people have a lack of basic understanding of what human loving is ...."

Actually, if you will look back at what I actually typed out, you'll see that I used the word "many," not "most". The former assertion might be an exageration, but I'm sure most everyone would agree with what I actually said.

Originally Posted by Ravenesque

This led me to believe you knew what this basic understanding of human loving that most people were missing was as well as what an adequate language for discussing it would be. But it seems you are saying you cannot describe either.

No, I indicated that to address the subject adequately would involve a lot more than a brief summary statement. Brief summary statements can be made on the matter, but would certainly lead to controversy if provided without adequate explanation. Perhaps one day I'll have a large block of time to write an essay on the topic? But I think it's verging on silly to expect someone to say anything useful and accurate about this matter in a brief post here. What is awry in how our culture/s conceive of and practice loving is a highly complex subject!, and a notoriously difficult one to discuss.

[River]

~ continued ~

One way to BEGIN to discus what is awry in how many (perhaps even most) people conceive of and practice "love" / "loving" would be to begin by showing many of the popular myths about love / loving to be either false or destructive rather than enhancing of love/life.

The mere length of this laundry list is enormous enough for my above response, which seems perhaps like an evasion, to make more sense. I'd honsetly need to work on the laundry list itself over many days, and collaboratively with others. I can mention a few items for the list in short order....:

Myths of love / loving:

a) "If you really loved me you wouldn't want to love ______."

b) "If you love _______ and me, I'll only get half as much of your love as if you loved only me."

c) "Naked cuddling is only for 'lovers' / sexual partners--and only makes sense as an activity on a trajectory toward genital sex."

d) "Only sexual/romantic love is passionate."

e) "If you really loved me, you'd want to marry me."

f) "Sex without warmth/tenderness/affection ("heart") is in no way harmful; it's just recreational play--completely harmless."

[I'll think of other items over time, and welcome others to help build the list.]