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  #1  
Old 12-28-2011, 07:55 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Default Howdy. Apparently, I have two boyfriends.


I am just so happy to be somewhere I can say that out loud. (okay, virtually out loud) I do live in California, so it's not the strangest notion ever.

And I read Stranger In A Strange Land before I was twelve, so it's not like poly is a new concept to *me*. I'm a little surprised that I'm as twisted up about this as I am.

Had lovely boyfriend. He hired a guy who became his best friend, and our good friend. (about 3 years) Bf got after another woman. My bottom line: 'I don't share.' (laugh away, friends) Good friend came after me. (about 6 years) First boyfriend moved about two hours away. I threw good friend out (after living together 5 years) but he only moved to the next building over. Still friends, then we started having sex again. Never stopped lusting after first bf. I've had the hypothetical conversation with good friend for years, and he always indicated acceptance of a triad.

First bf finally had enough booze to realize I'm all that. So, I had the conversation for real with good friend.

Came out to the parents at Christmas. It was better than when I came out to them as bisexual (at 18 or 19 ish), when they spent half an hour trying desperately to find a kind way to say 'so what?' They already know both of them.

Oh, and they're 13 and 15 years younger than I am. I've said to both of them, it feels a little rude to ask you to share, when I'm not willing to share. I mean, I'd share them with each other if they wanted to have sex with each other, which they both assure me they don't. I do share them with each other already, they're best buds. We're all best buds.

So, that's why I'm here, in these forums. And now I'll go read some.

thanks
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Old 12-28-2011, 08:39 AM
bassman bassman is offline
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Sounds Delicious!!

Welcome to the forum!
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  #3  
Old 12-28-2011, 08:55 AM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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When did this journey start?

What was the response when you told them you felt a little rude for asking them to share but unwilling to do the same?
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  #4  
Old 12-28-2011, 09:06 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Well, starting is an interesting concept. I view it as starting when I took up with the first boyfriend (I'm gonna have to come up with a name, as typing that is getting tiresome). When he brought current bf home to play board games...current bf had a crush on me from the beginning, and was honorable enough to push it aside (also first bf was his boss). But when he realized first bf was drifting, he wanted to move in and be mah bf. It had been over two months after breakup before our first date, and he told first bf he wanted to take me out. Only a month or three after that, we all took up being friends together, much like we were before.
Then me telling current bf to move out started me more seriously in the direction of first bf. He didn't seem receptive. I gave up. Then he appeared. Not unlike the first time we entered into relationship. That was about three weeks ago. (i'm horrible at telling time)
The response was so 'meh' that I can't even remember it. I paid very close attention to his energy in the conversation.

One of my large hesitations is that neither of them are known for their truth telling skills. But, my ability to discern the bullshit feed from the heart-response is really good. They haven't shown a huge interest in a) women, and b) women other than me...ever. And the truth is, I can feel myself expanding from just the freedom to feel like I can love them both ~ and I have entertained the thought that if they found another woman they wanted to bring in, I could (maybe) have the conversation.
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Old 12-28-2011, 10:43 AM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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What are the living arrangments right now.? Are there any plans drafted for the future in that area? The time split and close proximity might cause one or both to seek out others.

An under the circumstance I'm baffled why they wouldn't want to push for the same experience.
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  #6  
Old 12-28-2011, 11:04 AM
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I live in a 3BR apartment where I formerly lived with current bf. He lives in a 1BR in the next building over. First bf lives two hours away. Far to new to have any plans. We're trying to figure out if we're all going to be together for new year's. I'm a little freaked out at being with both of them at once (same as I was when I first started dating current bf).

Both of them have the lowest sex-drive of any man I've ever known. Sex is just not even in the top 5 motivating factors for them. I think they find it burdensome to have one girlfriend and doubt they could spend the energy to have more than one. That's just my take on it. Not sure.

Also, first bf is an extreme introvert. Probably on the autism spectrum somewhere. Brilliant to the point of finding it difficult to relate to ordinary people. He just doesn't want or need huge numbers of people in his life, female or male.
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Old 12-29-2011, 02:43 AM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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With that being the case you may need to add another good luck to you all
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Old 12-29-2011, 04:54 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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After, I wrote that, that's what I was thinkin' (might need to add another)

Thanks for your kind interest and questions. Made me think; always good.

I'm really enjoying this forum.
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Old 12-31-2011, 06:10 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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I know, this is going kinda long for an intro, but I'm still revealing myself.

I just had a revelation. I've been in this forum for all of four days (and I'm completely obsessed with it), and had my 'opening' three weeks ago.

I just now remembered an experience I had in my twenties. I had a girlfriend (she's a man now). I still become chemically unbalanced in his presence (fortunately, he now lives on the other side of the world). She was the single greatest love of my life. Another woman came into our lives, and quite seduced the both of us. We discovered later that this woman did that with a lot of couples, it was her thing. We finally told each other what she had been telling us, and all freaked out. And we all attempted a triad. We were all making out on the couch and it was quite lovely, and they got up to go to the bedroom. 'Not without me, you're not.' And that seemed to be the end of it. They actually expected me to sit on the couch and wait! There was some unpleasantness after; including a black eye.

The thing that is knocking my socks off is that I 'forgot' this until this moment.
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Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
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  #10  
Old 03-10-2012, 05:31 PM
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FrankLee FrankLee is offline
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Default Best read I've had all day!

I'm a little late getting to this thread, but glad I found it. November, you've got me rolling on the floor. Highly entertaining. We should all have such a sense of humor about life and love.
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