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  #31  
Old 06-15-2010, 11:31 AM
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This all feels like when you buy a spice rack, and it only comes with those 12 labels. And I'm sitting there thinking, I never use celery seed. Am I supposed to go out and buy it just because I have a label for it? No, of course not. But what label am I going to put on my allspice? Sure, they threw in some blank labels, but now I don't have a matching set and I think matching sets look pretty.

So I throw out the whole package of labels and get out my label-maker, you know the old fashioned ones with the raised white letters? I think it's cool.

Then I discover marjoram. Now I have 13 spices and they won't fit in my spice rack. So now I have 12 neatly labeled matching spice jars in a rack, and one random jar sitting on my shelf.

One day, a dear friend gives me a small baggie of a home blend spice. Says she can't tell me what it is, secret family recipe, but assures me it tastes great on chicken and she says she'll give me more any time I want. So I take it home and make the best damn chicken you've ever tasted. Now, never mind not having a special pre-printed label, I don't even know what's in this stuff! But it tastes good, none of my dinner guests have gotten poisoned, and I have a lifetime supply. So I put it in a really pretty jar and leave it without a label, knowing that it's the special spice my friend gave me that tastes really good on chicken.
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  #32  
Old 06-15-2010, 01:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rpcrazy View Post
More specifically I was replying to the idea in a previous post that the word "bi" needs to be replaced.
Hmm. I don't remember anyone saying that the term "bi" (or even "bisexuality") needs replacing. What has been argued is that "biamory" is often more useful a term than "bisexual" for those people who are, shall we say, both. The reasons for this have been provided and don't need repeating.

Anyway, I accept that you did not mean to offend. I had thought you were belittling when you said you thought the topic "funny".
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  #33  
Old 06-15-2010, 02:36 PM
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So, thanks to rp and river's discussion back and forth I think I not only get it, but might be in a biamorous relationship.

Yays! I'm actually very pleased to have this definition right now as I needed a way of describing it to myself and others and was trying to fit it in a box. I wasn't getting what you were explaining before river.

More to follow as I have to get to work...

Thanks though, I'm feeling rather relieved and excited!
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  #34  
Old 06-15-2010, 02:52 PM
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  #35  
Old 06-15-2010, 03:38 PM
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  #36  
Old 06-15-2010, 07:23 PM
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Default Let me get this straight,....

..and please remember, it is only food for thought.

Someone felt a new label/term was needed, because the word 'bisexuality' has come to mean/be associated with the casual sex aspect of it, rather then any meaning of love and relationships.

Though the root of it is in biology.


Yet,..on another front, we are suppose to reclaim the word 'Slut', from it`s negative association, with multi-partner sexual contact.


..So, why not just 'reclaim' bisexuality ? Start a movement. Take it back !
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  #37  
Old 06-15-2010, 07:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Superjast View Post

Though the root of it is in biology.
The "root" of sexuality may well be in biology, but it is hardly clear where and how our other needs are "rooted," if not also in biology. How can we demarcate where and how needs like deep intimacy, trust, affection, love... fit in? Are these also best understood as biological drives or needs? What is the effect on this conversation if we can't ultimately classify sex or sexual orientation apart from these other human needs and inclinations?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Superjast View Post
Yet,..on another front, we are supposed to reclaim the word 'Slut', from it`s negative association, with multi-partner sexual contact.
Not all polyamorists do this. Some do. Some do not. The issue is debatable.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Superjast View Post
..So, why not just 'reclaim' bisexuality ? Start a movement. Take it back !
It is easier to move a hundred bricks fifty feet than to move a thousand bricks a mile. Why not, instead, start a movement to popularize the term "biamory"?
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  #38  
Old 06-15-2010, 08:08 PM
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Default and onward,...,..

Very good points to ponder River.
I understand your well detailed explanations perfectly !

My immediate thoughts were ;

- I`d rather do the work, and make the correction, then add something in, that could possibly be seen as a band-aid solution.

- When I flip my point of view around, and imagine if I were heterosexual, I would not change anything. I would not coin myself a 'heteroamorist.'

I would say I was heterosexual. This is a tried and true formula.
Those that are interested in learning more will, those that aren`t, won`t.

People understand that, 'heterosexual' specifies your orientation, and that it then branches out from there, as to your wants and desires in life.

If they understand that easily with heterosexuality, then maybe it is worth the effort to keep expanding peoples minds with bisexuality.

If we put ourselves in neat little packaging, it almost feels like we close ourselves off. Its then very difficult for the general population, to ever learn to appreciate differences.
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  #39  
Old 06-15-2010, 08:22 PM
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Your points are also good, SJ.

A very large part of why I like the term "biamory" is because there are SO MANY male bisexuals who are not also biamorous (able and wanting to form loving bonds), and the term allows me to be VERY CLEAR, in one word, about who I am and what I want and need. Also, I have been badly hurt (emotionally) by unwittingly getting involved with someone who was just interested in using me as a sex toy ... while -- seemingly, in retrospect -- pretending authentic affection. He was very quick to end both our friendship and our physical intimacy the moment I became a little inconvenient for him.
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  #40  
Old 06-15-2010, 08:44 PM
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Default Interesting !

So in essence, the terms suits you well, because you would like the ability to close off to a particular sector ?

To be able to just simply say; ' I am biamorist'. and hopefully hear, " Wow ! So am I ! " It would be a great start, and eliminate the 'wondering if he wants what I want ?' aspect .

Is that a correct conclcusion ?

If so, it not only makes sense, but maybe 'biamory' in the definition, should also include something pertaining to 'wanting to share love with like-minded people'

..If that makes sense ?
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