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Old 12-24-2011, 07:47 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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And you know, sometimes orgasms are like little blips on the radar screen, and afterwards you're like, "That was it?" And other times you cum and cum and cum and it's cataclysmic. But it's just natural that the earth doesn't move every time we have sex. I would guess that that usually happens when our minds are a little bit elsewhere or we're too focused on the outcome and wanting a certain result, instead of connecting on a heart level, beyond the physical.

And if the intensity of your feelings for him scared you, it makes sense that something was off. It could just have been a way for you to subconsciously tell yourself to slow down a bit because it was overwhelming you. Next time you're together, try something new or pace yourself. Sometimes I find that slowing everything down helps me really get into the sensations, enjoying every delicious moment, and enables me to observe my emotions and not get bowled over by them.
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Old 12-24-2011, 07:18 PM
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Six weeks! Ya, too soon. I thought you said six months. Sorry about that. I do think that its important to communicate sexual history and attachment to it to new possible partners though. It seems that this is not the issue though... off night indeed.

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Old 12-26-2011, 05:49 PM
kamala kamala is offline
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Hey Nix, any new developments?

My boyfriend and I didn't even have sex for the first two months. And after that, even though there was a lot of heat, a lot of chemistry and both of us were very keen, the fact is we had both come out of long term relationships and we were just "learning" each other. We're both quite anxious people too, so every little thing got analysed... he was a very new and different sexual experience for me, as I'm sure I was for him. As our relationship grew and we got more comfortable and trusting with each other, the sex improved too.

He was the first one that this ever happened with - he made me question this idea that a good connection automatically translates into good sex. In fact, there seems to be something even subtly more intimate about learning someone's particular mind and body, all the unique features in their erotic landscape, exactly how they work, and how you can create a way to work together with them... it's romantic in its own way
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Old 12-27-2011, 03:50 PM
nixndrew nixndrew is offline
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Originally Posted by kamala View Post
Hey Nix, any new developments?
Hey Kamala,

Yeah, some new developments. We talked and worked out alot of our fears and goals. We decided to focus on the relationship aspect of us, so sex is taking a slight backseat. And I'm okay with that....because I really like him and want to see our relationship blossom a bit more. So far its been a week of no sex....this is a record for me.

I think when you mentioned that you're both anxious and analyze everything, that struck a chord with me. I think we're both like that too. We over analyze lots of things. It's so difficult to just sit back and enjoy things!
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fears, sexual energy

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