My tendency to over-think things....

[km34]

I think you make some great points, but I want to kind of explain why I was concerned about a few things. Not that it really matters now, but yeah... I'm still looking back and trying to learn for future endeavors, so I appreciate any feedback from any point in this whole thing.

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat

Why would she have to "choose?"

I wouldn't have made her. Her family might. She has a fear they would disown her if they found out, so I'm fairly certain she would have left me in the dust before letting this happen.

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat

My husband almost never answers my texts because he absolutely hates texting. He'll give me max 3 words before he just picks it up and calls me instead, even now that he has a phone with voice-to-text.

Not the case here. She texts ALL THE TIME when she actually has her phone on her. Now, she does forget it a lot, but if it is in the vicinity and she has time, she checks it constantly.

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat

If she doesn't like that you do that fun and exciting thing, then it's not a good match. Plain & simple.
...
There was some validity in the earlier posts people made that, while the relationship is getting established, it's fair to request that you not to go to the clubs. But if I ever agreed to something like that, I would put a finite and definite time limit on it. e.g., you have six weeks to deal with your insecurity, after that I'm going to the clubs whether you approve or not. Sometimes people use "I'm still working on it" as an indefinite excuse to not actually work on it, because they've put the bandage on the infection and are now pretending it doesn't exist...

Very good point. In the future I will have to be firm in compromising without letting the situation drag on.

[km34]

Originally Posted by Pretzels

Hopefully the Ron Jeremy club is more tasteful than this stuff:



It's really freakin' awful.

LOL!! I had no idea this stuff even existed! I've heard the club is a great place to hang out and meet people in general but not a great place to meet people you're actually going to see again. I'm guessing we'll go once and never return, but I have to go just to say I did it!

[nycindie]

This made me look up Ron Jeremy in IMDB because I was trying to remember the name of a sci-fi spoof movie he was in (One Eyed Monster) -- I had no idea he has a Masters Degree in Special Education and has appeared in a Disney series in the 90s (heavily disguised). Who'd a thunk it?

[Pretzels]

That stuff first came out last spring a few weeks before a friend's wedding and we thought it would be a hilarious gift. I found a place in NYC that was selling it, hopped on the subway one night after work and popped out in Brooklyn.

The liquor store was one of those places that sounds fabulous on the Internet but, in reality, is a very narrow storefront crammed floor to ceiling with bottles. When I asked for it after not being able to find it on the shelves, the guy said, "Yeah, we're keeping that in the back. You wanna try some before you buy some?"

Sure.

Oof. I chalked the taste up to not having had much to eat that day or not having anything to eat with it. It's not great, but I ended up with a bottle for us and one for our friend. On further inspection/consumption of our bottle, we thought it would make a terrible present. The last of the second bottle is still around but only for mixing into Cokes.

Moral of the story: If Ron Jeremy wants you to taste his smooth, long rum, say no.

[nycindie]

Originally Posted by Pretzels

That stuff first came out last spring a few weeks before a friend's wedding and we thought it would be a hilarious gift. ... It's not great, but I ended up with a bottle for us and one for our friend. On further inspection/consumption of our bottle, we thought it would make a terrible present. The last of the second bottle is still around but only for mixing into Cokes.

Years ago, I worked someplace where a bunch of guys were part of this fair-sized circle of friends. I was invited to a holiday party with them and someone brought the host a gift-wrapped bottle of Thunderbird. Everyone hooted and hollered - turns out, the tradition in their circle was to regift that bottle and it had been passed around among them all for years. It was always fun to see who would get it next and at what occasion - weddings, Thanksgiving, birthday, whatever. Seems like a good idea for Ron Jeremy rum!

[Pretzels]

Originally Posted by nycindie

Seems like a good idea for Ron Jeremy rum!

That sounds like the perfect use for Ron Jeremy rum.

OP, do post up if you visit the club. We're planning a trip through that territory in early May and want to know whether to put this on our schedule.

[km34]

Originally Posted by nycindie

Years ago, I worked someplace where a bunch of guys were part of this fair-sized circle of friends. I was invited to a holiday party with them and someone brought the host a gift-wrapped bottle of Thunderbird. Everyone hooted and hollered - turns out, the tradition in their circle was to regift that bottle and it had been passed around among them all for years. It was always fun to see who would get it next and at what occasion - weddings, Thanksgiving, birthday, whatever. Seems like a good idea for Ron Jeremy rum!

I love this idea!

And I will definitely let ya'll know how it goes when we get to the club. There is a fetlife group dedicated to people under 30 interested in it, so I'm hoping we can maybe meet some people there.

[km34]

So, I feel ridiculous. I've been crying off and on all day. Why? Because I have to get rid of my dog. I feel like an idiot, but I've had her since she was 7 weeks old (she's a year and a half old now), and I love the little idiot. She is one of the dumbest dogs I've ever owned - could barely learn sit even when we went to classes where a professional tried to help - but she is so darn loving and cute.

Most of the places we've been finding for rent haven't been dog friendly, and we're kind of strapped for cash in the short term, so having the additional pet deposit on the places that DO accept dogs would really be putting us on thin ice.

I'm an animal person. I've ALWAYS had pets. My husband's dog has went to live with his parents, so I don't feel bad about getting rid of her since we really know the home she went to, and she has anxiety issues so the trip would have been terrible for her. My dog, though... Dammit, I'm tearing up again at the thought of having to give her away.

Nothing new on the relationship front. We went to Mario and Fiona's last night, but my sister and her husband were there also, so no discussion really happened. Mario visibly looks upset, and Fiona gets kind of a sad look when she looks at either Keith or me. Mario was apparently either offered a job or told he would be really good at a job in Portland recently, as well, but Fiona won't consider moving there either. Apparently she refuses to move period. Doesn't matter where to or if it is a better career move or anything. Sucks for Mario since he really isn't a huge fan of Indy, so I see this causing issues down the road for them.

[km34]

Keith is letting me keep my doggy!! We had a couple of people who really wanted her, but due to living situations and such were going to have to hide having her for a while or other craziness. He finally gave in after a night of having me curled in the fetal position processing all of the changes that are coming to my life. I was finally able to appropriately articulate WHY having her with me will make the transition easier for me: I can't sleep in an empty house. He'll be working nights, so I will be home all alone in a new city that I'm not familiar with. How a 12 pound dog can make me feel better, I don't know, but she does. lol

He has tried to make all of this easy on me and recognizes the effort it has taken on my part to remain calm and mostly supportive (minus the few times that I have broken down, and even then I make sure I tell him I am excited, I'm just also nervous). We've been talking a lot, and I've been amazed at how working through this major life change has brought us even closer.

We only have one more weekend before the move, and it is pretty much filled with family stuff and having dinner with one of the families I've been babysitting for. I'm insanely overwhelmed, and every time I try to talk to Fiona or get her to come over just to hang out, she balks. Portland apparently haunts her and Mario everywhere (Oregon license plates, Portland listed on flight plans, blah, blah, blah) so they can't acknowledge the fact that I'm having a hard time too. Sure, I'm mostly excited, but I am so worried about going with VERY limited finances, not knowing anyone, and so on... They've also gotten upset with me for not taking the time to go over to their house to hang out like I had been. I've been trying to be supportive and let them work through their emotions, but I can't be the strong one for everyone. At this point I doubt that I will even miss them. I feel like I have gotten very little beyond physical gratification during the bulk of the relationship(s).

[Pretzels]

Originally Posted by km34

Portland apparently haunts her and Mario everywhere (Oregon license plates, Portland listed on flight plans, blah, blah, blah) so they can't acknowledge the fact that I'm having a hard time too. Sure, I'm mostly excited, but I am so worried about going with VERY limited finances, not knowing anyone, and so on... .

Who isn't haunted by Portland?