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  #71  
Old 01-07-2012, 05:00 AM
KindaPOd KindaPOd is offline
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OP, love brought you back, but what happened from there ? You lost it in a poker game ?
Too much faith in love. Didn't use enough logic.

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As said before, we can all learn from mistakes, and be better people.
I took your message to heart.
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  #72  
Old 01-07-2012, 05:28 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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What happened ....we seemed to have lost mrspod. Hope I did'nt put you off with those questions. Be like everyone else and ignore them.

I Still think vindictive prick is a good band name
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  #73  
Old 01-07-2012, 07:19 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Hope I did'nt put you off with those questions. Be like everyone else and ignore them.
I don't know that people ignore yoour questions dinged, I think you ask some good ones and people take them away and think about them. I enjoy that you wonder about people. I always see your questions as ones that people can use to answer for themselves in their own heads rather than answer here.
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  #74  
Old 01-08-2012, 03:26 AM
KindaPOd KindaPOd is offline
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Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
What happened ....we seemed to have lost mrspod. Hope I did'nt put you off with those questions. Be like everyone else and ignore them.

I Still think vindictive prick is a good band name
She's sort of lazy. That and she has a very busy life.

I think she'll be back.

Last edited by KindaPOd; 01-08-2012 at 03:30 AM.
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  #75  
Old 01-09-2012, 03:10 PM
MrsPOd MrsPOd is offline
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Hello dinged!

- We dated for twelve years before we got married. We were good friends during our primary school years and beyond.

- He moved back in because he loved me.

- "When and how did the child come along through this?"

I don't understand the question. You're asking me how babies are made?

- Polyamory isn't that important to me and neither is having any more paramours. I believe that this was situation and event specific.

- I would say that we dedicate around an hour or two for quality time every day. Our split looks like a split.
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  #76  
Old 01-10-2012, 05:21 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Yes exactly how is the stork involved again

Sorry I didn't remember the child's age when I asked the question. I was thinking married ...trouble early ...hubs moved out for 3 months ... hubs moves back ... Family Planning after or during the early stages of the rebuild ..??? I get it now.

You said "we" dedicate an hr ...which we. You and BF or you and Hubs. In the other thread you said your Gf. Is she a third partner ...just not listed yet?

In terms of time split I was specifically thinking about how much time you spent with each partner in the beginning and if that's changed over the years. And how that split looks today. And with your husbands shift in feelings and attitude does that play apart in how you allot time.

Last edited by dingedheart; 01-10-2012 at 05:49 PM.
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  #77  
Old 01-11-2012, 03:08 PM
MrsPOd MrsPOd is offline
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Heya dinged.

"We" refers to MrPOd and I.

"In terms of time split I was specifically thinking about how much time you spent with each partner in the beginning and if that's changed over the years. And how that split looks today. And with your husbands shift in feelings and attitude does that play apart in how you allot time. "

During the length of my marriage, I've been spending less time with my husband and more time with my bf and gf. This change wasn't something that I wanted and I do think that my husband doesn't feel as strongly for me as I do for him.
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  #78  
Old 01-11-2012, 04:51 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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In the beginning did it start with you dating both. Or was one added years later... How did that effect the time and attention split ...who paid the cost?...equally shared?

Would you like more time and attention from your husband or a greater place in his heart? What are looking for from him?

Do you think he's being a vindictive prick ? Is he capable of such behavior?

In the beginning was it easy or difficult to negotiate the boundaries of this dynamic with him. Was there any trouble with violations of said boundaries?
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  #79  
Old 01-11-2012, 06:03 PM
MrsPOd MrsPOd is offline
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"In the beginning did it start with you dating both. Or was one added years later... How did that effect the time and attention split ...who paid the cost?...equally shared? "

I was initially only in a relationship with my husband. Then I started dating my bf later on. I had to work hard to create a schedule for both men. I feel that everybody in the relationship paid a cost.

"Would you like more time and attention from your husband or a greater place in his heart? "

Both.

"Do you think he's being a vindictive prick ? Is he capable of such behavior? "

I don't think that he is doing this out of vengeance. He's never done anything out of revenge in his life. I think that he is deeply hurt.

There is a possibility that my bf is abusive so I may not be the best judge of character.

"In the beginning was it easy or difficult to negotiate the boundaries of this dynamic with him. Was there any trouble with violations of said boundaries? "

We found is easy. The only trouble that we received was from his belief that I cheated on him.
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  #80  
Old 01-11-2012, 06:38 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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I meant both ....Bf and his wife ...was the wife part of the package from the start or was there an additional readjustment after she was added?

What are you looking for from him?

Last edited by dingedheart; 01-11-2012 at 09:14 PM.
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hierarchy, marriage vs. polyamory, primary, secondaries, secondary, trust issues

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