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  #21  
Old 09-02-2009, 12:36 AM
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Monogamy, Polyamory, and Beyond
By Jorge N. Ferrer
Tikkun Magazine
http://www.tikkun.org/article.php/Fe...ory-and-beyond
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  #22  
Old 09-05-2009, 04:46 PM
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Default NY times article - Pimbwe men and women

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/01/sc...r&st=cse&scp=1

Interesting article about the idea that women marrying several men either consecutively or at the same time is better than a man doing the same (economically and socially).

In a study conducted in Africa by UC Davis, Pimbwe women benefit more than men by following the same behavior and are regarded higher by society than men who do the same.

Interesting... I have heard the argument in polyamory that women seem to be a driving force in changing sexual and societal roles of partnership and marriage... also that feminism has played a large role in this change.
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  #23  
Old 10-02-2009, 07:48 AM
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I just wanted to bump this topic up as a few of the other threads had mentioned that "evil" book that Mono hates (Ethical Slut) and I was curious as to what books other people have found that are "better" or maybe that focus more on the emotional and other parts of a poly relationship besides the sex, which I agree, ES does seem to focus on. Wow! What a run on sentence! Bad me!
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  #24  
Old 10-02-2009, 10:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vandalin View Post
I just wanted to bump this topic up as a few of the other threads had mentioned that "evil" book that Mono hates (Ethical Slut) and I was curious as to what books other people have found that are "better" or maybe that focus more on the emotional and other parts of a poly relationship besides the sex, which I agree, ES does seem to focus on. Wow! What a run on sentence! Bad me!
Honestly, most of the books I've read I've found less than useful from my perspective, though they may be useful for others. Mainly, it's because they offer a bird's eye view of poly relationships and don't offer much practical day to day, nuts and bolts advice. But also, they all seem to be written from the perspective of couples who are moving from monogamy to polyamory or for couples who are already poly and that simply doesn't apply to my situation. Poly singles aren't really on the radar.

My friend Franklin (from www.xeromag.com) is writing a book on polyamory and trying to get it published. I may be biased, but I suspect it'll be more useful for me than most of what's out there.
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  #25  
Old 10-30-2009, 08:19 PM
rubyfish rubyfish is offline
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Default Book and Website Recommendations

My husband and I are taking baby steps into polyamory. Everything is still in the hypothetical, but I've been doing lots of research (both because I'm the poly one and I'm really rather neurotic). I was looking for some book recommendation. I'm looking for books to help my husband understand how I feel and what I want.

I just finished The Ethical Slut and it wasn't exactly what I was hoping for. I think there is great information in there about managing jealousy and emotions, but it just wasn't emphasizing what I was hoping for. I'm looking for a book that talks more about love and less about sex, because that's me. Sex is nice and all, but for me it's about love and connection. No offense to anyone with other view points, but I was hoping there was a book that was more in tune with me.

Thanks so much,

Ruby

Last edited by redpepper; 12-30-2011 at 01:23 AM.
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  #26  
Old 10-30-2009, 10:14 PM
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Just today I read the following recommendations on other threads here:

Living Happily Ever After-Marsha Sinetar
The 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem-Nathaniel Brandon
Divine Sex:liberating sex from religious tradition-Philo Thelos

I know Mono had posted another because he didn't like the Ethical Slut-but I can't recall what thread it was on. You might pm him....
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  #27  
Old 11-27-2009, 07:29 PM
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Default Why not the Ethical Slut?

This is the book I most recommend so far for those that want to explain polyamory to someone.

Polyamory:
The New Love Without Limits

http://www.lovewithoutlimits.com/books.html


Here is my reasoning for not recommending the Ethical Slut or even the book Opening Up.

Both the above books are more directed at those that want to open up. They are less sensitive to a person who is trying to understand why their partner needs this.

The New Love Without Limits, although less in depth and simplistic, does a better job of explaining the multiple "loving" aspect of polyamory in my opinion.

The "Ethical Slut" reads like a how-to to fuck lots of people in a mature responsible way.

Opening Up is a book for couples who want to open up.

A lot of times we are dealing with people who do not want to open up. This requires a great deal of clarity, sensitivity, and understanding of their perspective when presenting the reasons for how and why their partner wants/needs and can even have multiple loves.

I'm not sure of a book specifically designed for those people..the ones looking at their partners with broken hearts, feeling loss, inadequate or replaced.
I don't mean to sound dramatic..but that is what we are dealing with.

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Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 11-27-2009 at 07:31 PM.
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  #28  
Old 11-27-2009, 08:51 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Heh. The New Love Without Limits is a book I recommend people avoid because it has far too much New Age fluff crust to truly be useful, in my opinion.

Jenny Block's book, Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, is an interesting place to start.

I also recommend Opening Up, by Tristan Taormino. Of the books I've read on polyamory (and I've not read all available, as yet) this is the one I think provides better coverage and discussion of all aspects of non-monogamy, which helps provide a better understanding of how polyamory fits in with other forms of non-monogamy.

Thomas Moore's The Soul of Sex is a book I found quite interesting. It doesn't deal specifically with polyamory, and has quite a lot to do with relationships and marriage.
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  #29  
Old 11-28-2009, 02:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeventhCrow View Post
Heh. The New Love Without Limits is a book I recommend people avoid because it has far too much New Age fluff crust to truly be useful, in my opinion.

.
Your comments are echoed to me by many poly people I know Seventh Crow. Fasciniating how a mono mind can look at the same words differently. Not that all monos see things my way. Thanks for giving some more ideas for reading
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  #30  
Old 11-28-2009, 03:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Fasciniating how a mono mind can look at the same words differently.
Honestly, I don't think it has much to do with a "mono mind" reading it versus a "poly mind". I think it just has to do with whether people like to swallow that kind of writing or not.

I also think there's not that much difference between a mono and poly mind.
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