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  #691  
Old 10-01-2013, 04:11 PM
london london is offline
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Well, personally, BDSM has taught me that giving up control doesn't mean that you will be abused. It's taught me to trust.
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  #692  
Old 10-01-2013, 04:12 PM
london london is offline
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Why talk about BDSM as therapy from one end of a person's life (the therapy end), but object to talking about it from the other (the initial abuse end)?
Because BDSM and sexual abuse/paedophilia have no correlation
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  #693  
Old 10-01-2013, 05:03 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Feeling so lost. Being a sub who can't be with her dom leaves such an empty feeling. I need to serve him.
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  #694  
Old 10-02-2013, 01:50 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by london View Post
What would be your motivation for posting that in this thread other than to provoke an emotive reaction during a discussion?
Dinged has had a bad experience with his wife being in a BDSM relationship, and their daughter reading some stuff her mom left open on her computer. He's bitter, still! All his posts are bitter, tinged by this brush with poly/BDSM.
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me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32
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  #695  
Old 10-02-2013, 01:56 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
Whatever his motivation, I think it's a fair question to ask: if people are using BDSM as therapy, then from what kind of abuse? Do victims of sexual abuse use BDSM as therapy to recover from sexual abuse? From childhood sexual abuse specifically?
Yes. My gf's ex and she used to roleplay Daddy/daughter back when my gf was still presenting as male. It was her gf's idea to play this. However, she was finally triggered to uncover some deeply buried memories of being abused by her father, and then she sought help through meds and therapy. So, BDSM play and traditional therapy can work together. I am not proposing one is superior to another.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32
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  #696  
Old 10-04-2013, 10:29 AM
london london is offline
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Dinged has had a bad experience with his wife being in a BDSM relationship, and their daughter reading some stuff her mom left open on her computer. He's bitter, still! All his posts are bitter, tinged by this brush with poly/BDSM.
Oh, shucks.
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  #697  
Old 10-04-2013, 05:40 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Quote:
London
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Dinged has had a bad experience with his wife being in a BDSM relationship, and their daughter reading some stuff her mom left open on her computer. He's bitter, still! All his posts are bitter, tinged by this brush with poly/BDSM.
Oh, shucks.
YES.... yes .....it was a big expensive ah shucks ... ...gosh darn it. Hope you dont have kids ...and if you do I sincere hope they dont see/ read the same kinds of things my kid did.

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Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
I stumbled upon this a few days ago ...http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...my-prison.html


When this kid grows up do you think this could be therapy for him ?
What would be your motivation for posting that in this thread other than to provoke an emotive reaction during a discussion? Some people abused their kid. They had a kinky relationship. So? Plenty of other women have been complicit in their child's abuse in the absence of a kink based relationship. It has absolutely no bearing on the discussion at all.
My motivation. Ever read something and it made you wonder. After reading the article it Made me think how did the parents get involved in master/slave relationship? The irony if they were executing some sort of self therapy from past abuse . Ive heard that it is cyclical. So in 15 yrs we might be looking at therapy from the therapy. And what roll do you think will be more therapeutic ? Tied down and blindfolded...or the Master ?

After having BDSM crash into my life (family ) it has been alleged (now) that my wife was molested/raped as a young girl by one or more of her mom's "Bf's ". Professionals associated with case say that a cross wiring occurred at that time making such activities attractive. My wife has yet to claim she was consciously using it as a therapy for past abuse. And I wonder if they are trying to incorporating it now as part of a treatment plan.

I've been told (not by her so I tend to believe ) that she has reoccurring nightmares of being blindfolded and ordered to do all the humiliating stuff that she and her bf wrote about ...photographed/videoed ...and at the end of the secession she takes off the blindfold and our kids....her dead father ... brothers .(dead and alive ) ..sisters are there watching.

From the context of other remarks I think the person telling me was trying to illustrate how torture her sleep cycle had become. My thought was nightmare ...or a bigger humiliating fantasy ? And if it truly is a nightmare what kind "kink " therapy ....would help.

Another question the rolls around in my head ... are my kids going to seek this kind of therapy.

Last year I got called into the high school because of my daughter reaction to English class program on rape and date rape ....They thought she was raped ....they knew something was very wrong ...and I got blindsided again.

Quote:
And how does the answer to that question have any bearing on whether BDSM can ever be therapeutic?
I didn't know the discussion was about "ever" So this is like the seat belt stories ....if I'd been wearing my seat belt I'd be dead ?

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Because BDSM and sexual abuse/paedophilia have no correlation
What is the basis for this statement ? Are you saying as a cause ?....I would agree. But clearly there are plenty of people that have past abuse issues to make a correlation.

I think it's a fact abuse happens with in .... ..http://www.leathernroses.com/abuse/k...leftpolice.htm

Quote:
Mags :
He's bitter, still! All his posts are bitter, tinged by this brush with poly/BDSM.
Thank you for your kind critique ....and insulting attack. Aren't there rules on attacking members ?
All my posts ..... wow that seems a bit unfair .... are still thinking about that mothers day gift thing


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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
Whatever his motivation, I think it's a fair question to ask: if people are using BDSM as therapy, then from what kind of abuse? Do victims of sexual abuse use BDSM as therapy to recover from sexual abuse? From childhood sexual abuse specifically?
Yes. My gf's ex and she used to roleplay Daddy/daughter back when my gf was still presenting as male. It was her gf's idea to play this. However, she was finally triggered to uncover some deeply buried memories of being abused by her father, and then she sought help through meds and therapy. So, BDSM play and traditional therapy can work together. I am not proposing one is superior to another.
So he/she didnt use it as therapy ....but accidental discovered it.

Quote:
Because BDSM and sexual abuse/paedophilia have no correlation
see above ^

simulating incest .....being totally controlled and fucked by " mommy " or "daddy " ... being a father ...having been called daddy ..now dad I dont get it....I find it creepy. But thats just me ...to each their own
I guess the age differences in the play partners might make a difference. Mags what is the age difference between you and miss pixie?

Last edited by dingedheart; 10-04-2013 at 06:55 PM.
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  #698  
Old 10-04-2013, 06:28 PM
london london is offline
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My motivation. Ever read something and it made you wonder. After reading the article it Made me think how did the parents got involved in master/slave relationship? The irony if they were executing some sort of self therapy from past abuse . Ive heard that it is cyclical. So in 15 yrs we might be looking at therapy from the therapy. And what roll do you think will be more therapeutic ? Tied down and blindfolded...or the Master ?
Wait, wait, wait, abusing your kid isn't BDSM. Ever. So these people weren't using BDSM as therapy and then accidentally abused their kid during one of their sessions. These were two paedophiles (Yes, women can be paedophiles! Imagine that!) who were abusing a child. Yes, they may have got off on the fact that he was "ordering" her to do it, and that she, as his submissive, was willing to do anything for him, but ultimately to carry something like that out, especially when the person is locked up and you don't have to engage with them at all, she must have been into it too. This wasn't kink gone wrong, this was two paedophiles exercising their pathological fetishes.
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  #699  
Old 10-05-2013, 01:43 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Thank you for your kind critique ....and insulting attack. Aren't there rules on attacking members ?
OK. I didn't attack you. I commented on the flavor of your posts, not your character. I overstated by saying "all his posts," and I am sorry. I'd amend that to say "many" or "most."


Quote:
So he/she didnt use it as therapy ....but accidental discovered it.
Well, you could say that. Using BDSM as therapy, you wouldn't say to your partner "Time for therapy, darling!" You just start playing and the result is, or can be, therapeutic. Just like in vanilla fucking, you don't necessarily go into it thinking, "I need stress relief," but one of the results of sex is stress relief. You might become conscious over time that sM, sex, exercise like running or racketball are stress relievers, but there are other reasons to enjoy these activities, of course. Like, they are fun.


Quote:
simulating incest .....being totally controlled and fucked by " mommy " or "daddy " ... being a father ...having been called daddy ..now dad I dont get it....I find it creepy. But thats just me ...to each their own
To each their own indeed. You're vanilla, you got weirded out and hurt by the repurcussions of your wife's BDSM, so you come here to this thread with practitioners of BDSM to bash it and express your views. I guess you find this... therapeutic? Are you two still married? Have you had much talking therapy to heal from this?

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I guess the age differences in the play partners might make a difference.
No, the age differences don't matter. Baby girls can have Daddies younger than them. Old sissies can have young Mistresses/Mamas. People have imaginations.

Quote:
Mags what is the age difference between you and miss pixie?
I am 22 years older than miss pixi, but we don't do ageplay, so I don't see the relevance. I have ageplayed some, back in 2009-10 with one guy. I was his mama and he, though being a few years older than me, played my younger daughter. He was into a bit of cross dressing and very subbie.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32
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  #700  
Old 10-07-2013, 11:17 PM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Well, you could say that. Using BDSM as therapy, you wouldn't say to your partner "Time for therapy, darling!" You just start playing and the result is, or can be, therapeutic. Just like in vanilla fucking, you don't necessarily go into it thinking, "I need stress relief," but one of the results of sex is stress relief. You might become conscious over time that sM, sex, exercise like running or racketball are stress relievers, but there are other reasons to enjoy these activities, of course. Like, they are fun.

That's about the viewpoint I'd take on it. Maybe it has a side effect of being therapeutic, maybe it helps you to let your guard down and to practice being vulnerable if you're scared of being close to people due to past baggage, maybe it helps make you feel connected and bonded to a partner that you don't get to see as often as you'd like - lots of potential benefits to consensual BDSM from what I've seen on top of the "fun" aspect.
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