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  #51  
Old 03-23-2010, 07:34 AM
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We went to a really satisfying kink event this weekend. It was a show first with a competition of who was king and queen and then a play event. I had a belt/corset made by a local artist and felt very strong in myself and empowered. Mono, my handsome slave did everything at my beck and call and did very well. He got a good beating on one of the racks and the stockade and then I took him home after wards for more play. I was completely satisfyingly exhausted afterwards as was he.

It was a really good night also in that my friend and lover (on hold) was there with his new girlfriend. We have been meeting regularly and have become closer than ever, even if our sex life is on hold for the moment. He took a moment to grab my ass and give it a good squeeze as he pulled me close for a sec... I came out of character long enough to allow that connection to just be between us, from one Dom to another. He is the only one I would EVER let do that.... it made us both thrilled and connected to have a moment of remembering and reminding of things to come. I don't miss him anymore, because I feel there is a future there. That is all I wanted to know.
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  #52  
Old 03-23-2010, 11:49 AM
darksilence darksilence is offline
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Hi All,

I just wanted to say that I had been very apprehensive about bringing up this topic and am so have found so many people who make both Poly and BDSM relationships work! It is very encouraging.

I am the sub to my partner's Dom and we are slowing working to find where our balance is. It is strange though, for me, because I have been very active in my BDSM involvement since I found my interest in it as a teen. I read and discuss and learn, I want to do everything I can to be the best sub I can be. For him on the other hand, this is his first time taking a full on Dom role. (I've introduced him to so much, its great seeing him become comfortable with parts of himself idon't think he even acknowledged before) He doesn't read or research online - I find this frustrating at times because, I guess I want everything now. *blushes* I'm not good at waiting. He says he wants our D/s relationship to be organic and to grow on its own, that he is not interested in what other people do because they are not us. I can respect this, but I very much struggle to understand it.

In saying that, our relationship is growing and changing every day. Even this weekend something has changed in him which has caused him to be stricter with me - something I am loving (he's given me the nickname mischief, something I'm not sure i like so much!). It makes me feel even closer to him. I am sure I just need to hang fire and let him go at his own pace, it is hard sometimes tho.

wow, I've shared more with you than i have with any of the BDSM websites I hang out on. a testament to how welcoming and open everyone here is. Thank you for that.

I think someone upthread said that the website they encountered seemed to be mostly discussing the upcoming clubs/play parties. while the site I use is mostly UK based, there are a lot of good topics about BDSM in general that i imagine would be helpful/interesting to people on both sides of the pond. www.InformedConsent.com clubs/parties threads do make an occasional appearance, especially at the beginning of the month but I do feel they are in the minority. I hope it is helpful to some. Also, there is a web comic www.Collar6.com and a great forum/web chat community has grown around it that I have become quite fond of. we never speak of clubs or play events because we're none of us in the same place!

BB,
DarkSilence
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  #53  
Old 03-23-2010, 01:04 PM
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I've had an interest in BDSM and kink since I was a teen. It's only in recent years (I'm 54) that Ive really brought the fantasies about it into reality.

With my mostly vanilla ex h, I took a sub role the last 10 or so yrs of our relationship, in an attempt to help him build his self esteem. I am naturally assertive, but found a thrill out of taking orders from him in the bedroom and being subjected to an occasional short spanking or paddling.

But since we broke up, Ive dived in. My lover has been poly and kinky all her life and we have gradually begun playing with impact play (crop, flogger, steel rod), scrathing with a knife blade, dildoes and strap ons, light bondage (me tying her up), blindfolds, sensation play (ice, wax, rabbit fur, etc), pee play, enemas, TENS unit, forced oral, and other things.

She's a sub, and has had Masters in the past. I'm a switch. Interestingly, she is fantastic at topping me from the bottom.

We've not been to a play party together yet. She belongs to a kinky grp for women and transppl only tho. We have a few kinky friends we see socially, Dommes mostly.

Also I have just begun playing w a young Dom. He's 27. It's a bit odd. We met on OKC and he immediatley started asking me to Domme him, even tho he's never exped that before. We had one date, messed around, switched between roles, and he got cold feet. Months later, we had a 2nd date. This time I let him top me. Maybe one more date where he tops me, and trusts me more, and then we will turn the tables... rawr.

It's hard to find a good Dom. My gf says most of the Doms out there are just assholes.
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  #54  
Old 03-23-2010, 03:15 PM
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Hey magdyln, tell me about a TENS unit. Someone lent me one on the weekend. I haven't had a chance to try it out yet.
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  #55  
Old 03-23-2010, 03:20 PM
lovebird13 lovebird13 is offline
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Default Talk, talk, talk!

I'm so happy this thread is active. Thanks to all. I am in a new relationship with a couple who live in another state. We just had an unbelievably intense 5 days together. We are all new to poly, but they are experienced BDSM practitioners. She (M)is one of the best communicators I've met so, I'm learning loads from her.

Here at home, I've been exploring my sub side for about 6 months, with another beautiful man, a beginner like me. I have often felt ready to call it off with him because he did not seem to be a good communicator. Then I discussed it with M and she gave me some really practical hints and observations about how to talk to my dom. It was magic! Really, it's like he sensed the change in me (I had opened up to him about being in love and the poly element).

He tracked me down one day (not usual for him at all) and we ended up talking for over an hour ...1/2 of it him...I swear! Two days later when he topped me it was just INCREDIBLE. We took it to a whole new level. The talking is so important to me. I went deep into sub space and came many many times in the 3-4 hours we were together. He is a sensitive creative top and I feel so lucky to be playing with him.

It similar with him to what DARKSILENCE wrote. He doesn't read or study. M suggested highlighting a book that I really find important... a very minimal amount so he doesn't feel overwhelmed. Then after he reads it, to do some more in a different color. I'm working on The New Topping Book now. (I love everything Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy write.) Plus, I'm learning loads myself. (I'm also reading their The New Bottoming Book.)
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  #56  
Old 03-23-2010, 04:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Hey magdyln, tell me about a TENS unit. Someone lent me one on the weekend. I haven't had a chance to try it out yet.
Well, Red, I am no expert. When my lower back pain was at its worst, my chiro gave me several treatments.

My gf just recently broke out her TENS unit for us to play with. It's basically just a kind of vibrator. Her unit is small and portable and 2 wires come off it w pad shaped electrodes on the ends.

You place the pads where you wish. You turn on the unit and get vibed. The difference between a TENS unit and a regular vibrator is, the unit can be adjusted to make the stimulus feel more needly, or more thumpy. And the intensity and pattern of vibration is almost infinitely adjustable as well.
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me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #57  
Old 03-23-2010, 04:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovebird13 View Post
I'm working on The New Topping Book now. (I love everything Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy write.) Plus, I'm learning loads myself. (I'm also reading their The New Bottoming Book.)
I just mentioned these books to my gf and she immediately pulled The New Bottoming Book off her bookshelf for me! She rocks. *love*

She did mention that the authors are kind of "One True Wayers." So, just take their info w a grain of salt if it doesnt resonate with your personal exps or desires.
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me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #58  
Old 03-23-2010, 05:30 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Hey magdyln, tell me about a TENS unit. Someone lent me one on the weekend. I haven't had a chance to try it out yet.
I tried it last night..cranked it up and it up on max and I must say it was a lot of electricity! I'm not sure I would compare it to a vibrator though....more to follow...but not share I think
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  #59  
Old 03-23-2010, 06:04 PM
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Hey! No fair!

We didnt use it on a very strong intensity yet. Trying the more needly sensation on my nipples: no. No. No. The thumpy sensation tho, yes, oh yes.

But Mono, it's interesting how Red shared youre such a pain slut! I didnt expect that for some reason. But then again, youre a soldier! heh
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #60  
Old 03-23-2010, 06:15 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Hey! No fair!

But Mono, it's interesting how Red shared youre such a pain slut! I didnt expect that for some reason. But then again, youre a soldier! heh
I'm not that much a pain slut...I enjoy heavy impact but not sharp pinching pains LOL. I think it has to do with my combatives past. My nipples are a zero go, no tolerance zone...I can't even watch nipple play very easily
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