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  #541  
Old 02-11-2013, 02:00 AM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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Yeah, saying my step dad wasn't the nicest person would be an understatement. Oddly enough a couple of years after he and my mom separated and divorced, he met a woman, got involved with a church, and his personality did a 180. He's a totally different person now and while he doesn't like us to mention the hell he put us through, he genuinely wants to prove that he loves and cares for us.
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  #542  
Old 02-11-2013, 02:12 AM
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My mom has been trying to become less bossy ... and even if she's not there yet, her kids are all pretty surprised that she's trying.
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  #543  
Old 02-11-2013, 04:41 AM
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Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter View Post
Yeah, saying my step dad wasn't the nicest person would be an understatement. Oddly enough a couple of years after he and my mom separated and divorced, he met a woman, got involved with a church, and his personality did a 180. He's a totally different person now and while he doesn't like us to mention the hell he put us through, he genuinely wants to prove that he loves and cares for us.
Wow. That is sort-of awesome. Better than late than never, eh?

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My mom has been trying to become less bossy ... and even if she's not there yet, her kids are all pretty surprised that she's trying.
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  #544  
Old 02-11-2013, 03:56 PM
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I'm also a switch, and so is my boyfriend, and I do find that really nice... But since we're both poly, we'd have options if it wasn't the case so it really isn't a requirement for me.

But yeah, I get the attraction of being with another switch. When one of us is very clearly in a dominant or submissive mood, the other one can adapt to it, and sometimes you can go back and forth and kind of "fight for dominance" if you're both in both moods, which doesn't really happen with someone who isn't a switch.
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  #545  
Old 02-11-2013, 04:01 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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I tend to find switches most attractive - I dislike being set in a role for any length of time. Being with switches tends to provide that fluidity almost automatically. I also do not care for a 24/7 situation. It works for some but not for me.

Last edited by opalescent; 02-11-2013 at 04:01 PM. Reason: grammar
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  #546  
Old 02-11-2013, 04:16 PM
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What I'm finding in my realm is that most of the time my Master knows best, and I prefer to be sub.

But sometimes I know best. Master doesn't like to switch out of masterly mode with me, I don't think, but eventually does it anyway, because respect is involved and we take that very seriously. Mutual respect is paramount to D/s relationship. Otherwise you just have another abusive or codependent relationship. She is very equitable and fair and loving, and we both want the other to be the best we can be.

At least that is something I'm discovering about D/s, the necessity of respect, switching or no. I don't actually know how I'd be as Dom physically. Still one of life's great unknowns for me.
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  #547  
Old 02-11-2013, 06:29 PM
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Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
What I'm finding in my realm is that most of the time my Master knows best, and I prefer to be sub.

But sometimes I know best. Master doesn't like to switch out of masterly mode with me, I don't think, but eventually does it anyway, because respect is involved and we take that very seriously.
There are a few ways for that to play out, too. A good Dominant will acknowledge that they are not omniscient. Sometimes, they give an order based on the information at hand. But there's nothing wrong with the submissive providing more information so that the Dominant can make the best decision for the submissive.

There's a way to say "I can't do that because of these reasons" which is very differently received than "I won't do it! I won't! I won't! I won't!" while you're stomping your feet and pouting.
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  #548  
Old 02-11-2013, 08:59 PM
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There are a few ways for that to play out, too. A good Dominant will acknowledge that they are not omniscient. Sometimes, they give an order based on the information at hand. But there's nothing wrong with the submissive providing more information so that the Dominant can make the best decision for the submissive.

There's a way to say "I can't do that because of these reasons" which is very differently received than "I won't do it! I won't! I won't! I won't!" while you're stomping your feet and pouting.

That's not the play I'm talking about. That's just sort-of obvious communication.

I'm talking about proper switching of the roles for a bit.
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  #549  
Old 02-12-2013, 10:38 AM
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I've always been around the BDSM / D/s crowd for a while by virtue of having a...diverse circle of friends but it never really seemed like my thing. I have a difficult time with unequal treatment in almost any sense.

That said, my most recent ladyfriend asked if she could try being dominant with me (she's a sub with her bf) just for a change and I said sure, I'm usually defacto dom by virtue of being more experienced than most of my lovers (looong story) so I was curious. Found I liked that a lot more than I was expecting to...
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  #550  
Old 02-13-2013, 04:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Helo View Post
I've always been around the BDSM / D/s crowd for a while by virtue of having a...diverse circle of friends but it never really seemed like my thing. I have a difficult time with unequal treatment in almost any sense.

That said, my most recent ladyfriend asked if she could try being dominant with me (she's a sub with her bf) just for a change and I said sure, I'm usually defacto dom by virtue of being more experienced than most of my lovers (looong story) so I was curious. Found I liked that a lot more than I was expecting to...

Do tell us in detail what you liked about it, please.
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