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  #401  
Old 05-04-2011, 01:44 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Last Friday my gf's bf, M, was going out of town for 24 hrs with his gf L. My gf was asked to come over for the night to dogsit. She invited me to come along.

We got to M's place at 4. He and L were still there, as was a friend of theirs they were going to travel with. M gave me 2 big bear hugs when we got there. He's such a nice gigantic guy. 6'5" and burly, quite like a huge bear.

For a while, as L packed, M was showing the other friend how to play Portal. Then he sat down on the couch where my gf and I were sitting and pulled her onto his lap. After 10 mins or so, he got up, changed his clothes and they were ready to leave. M gave me another huge hug and a kiss on the cheek (he and my gf went out into the foyer for their clinch). They left.

Then my gf told me, and showed me, that while she was on his lap, M had bitten the back of her shoulder, hard, leaving a mark. As a masochist, she was thrilled. I felt odd to find out he'd bitten her while sitting next to me on the couch, as his gf and their friend wandered in and out of the room.

Also, it got the night off to a weird start, as it felt to me like he'd "marked" her on purpose before he left.

So, their place was a huge mess as usual, and my gf had to do 2 loads of dishes, 2 loads of laundry, declutter and vacuum. Plus walk the dog. First off, I went out with her to walk the dog, then I just sat there watching TV (granted, that was fun, as their HDTV is huge and one of my favorite movies [Sid and Nancy] was on, then Red Sox) while she cleaned. But it felt odd, to see her at her work as a domestic slave, knowing it pleases her to take care of her bf's apartment... it made me feel kind of left out and unimportant and superfluous.

She also had orders to go the the grocery store and pick up a couple items for M. So we did that the next morning.

I got to feeling distant from her that night and into the next day. I really felt frozen. I didn't have any idea I'd feel that way. It wasn't jealousy. I am glad M provides something I can't give her. Altho when we were driving to his place, I said, "I feel weird about this because I don't understand your (hers and M's) relationship." And my gf said, "Neither do I." heh

I got over my weird feelings by Saturday night, we had our usual great connection, movie, dinner, cuddles, sexy times.

Anyway, comments are welcome... I just thought it might interest some to read about how my gf and I have an egalitarian relationship (with some kinky sex play) and how she also has a Master (novice tho M is).
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me: Mags, 59, living with:
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  #402  
Old 05-04-2011, 01:56 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Yes, this is interesting to me. Remember how I mentioned that I thought my bf would be a good dominant, and that my husband didn't seem to be into it? well the opposite has turned out to be true. Husband gets excited by the idea that I might be or have been with the other guy, and tries to leave marks on me so that they can be seen. I don't bruise very easily, so it's fun trying to get them. BF will do things that I ask him to, but he has said he has no personal interest in being dominant.
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  #403  
Old 05-04-2011, 02:13 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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I also like wearing bruises my gf gives me when I am with D, or vice versa. Neither one seems to do it on purpose tho, shit just happens.

Tho I haven't seen D since early Feb. sigh... At least he did im me last week, and he's only avoiding me because his workload is inhuman. He's job hunting because he just can't stand the workload. It was sweet to hear from him and know he's thinking about me, at least.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #404  
Old 05-04-2011, 03:12 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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I can totally relate to BDSM weirdness, Mags.

What's the first impulse you get when you see someone who is getting the living shit kicked out of them, crying and screaming? You want to help them, of course. But no, you shouldn't, because they are actually having a mighty goods time (I find drinking tea and minding my own business helps).

I would dearly like this person I'm seeing to find a really nice Domme (don't know why I'd prefer a woman) for some long-distance fun, who wouldn't get into weird power-struggles with me. But it's their life, so who am I to interfere? But I know some real shit-head would just make my life miserable too, so I can't get that emotionally involved without knowing what I'm up against first.
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  #405  
Old 05-04-2011, 03:30 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
I can totally relate to BDSM weirdness, Mags.

What's the first impulse you get when you see someone who is getting the living shit kicked out of them, crying and screaming?
To touch myself. *devil*

Quote:
I would dearly like this person I'm seeing to find a really nice Domme (don't know why I'd prefer a woman) for some long-distance fun, who wouldn't get into weird power-struggles with me. But it's their life, so who am I to interfere? But I know some real shit-head would just make my life miserable too, so I can't get that emotionally involved without knowing what I'm up against first.
A LDR, mostly online play? I don't get that. I prefer irl play!

But yeah, there are way too many dom-asses out there.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #406  
Old 05-04-2011, 04:13 PM
Hannahfluke Hannahfluke is online now
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Could someone point me to a good beginning Domme information source? Preferably either online or that I could get in an e-book format?

The last few times I've been with my other partner that I've been dating on and off for a year and a half, there's definitely been a desire on his part for me to be more dominate. I have no issue with that, necessarily, but I am kind of a little lost. My husband and I have been vanilla our whole marriage, so any type of kink is fairly new to me and started with this other relationship. I've read "Screw the roses, send me the thorns" and while it was a good overview of BDSM in general, I'd love to find something a little more geared towards the domme side of things.

Thanks!
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  #407  
Old 05-04-2011, 04:22 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
A LDR, mostly online play? I don't get that. I prefer irl play!
Hehee, I forgot to mention that this is Finland and if the train ride takes over 30 mins, it's officially long-distance!

So more like a weekend IRL thing was what I had in mind.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hannahfluke View Post
Could someone point me to a good beginning Domme information source? Preferably either online or that I could get in an e-book format?

The last few times I've been with my other partner that I've been dating on and off for a year and a half, there's definitely been a desire on his part for me to be more dominate. I have no issue with that, necessarily, but I am kind of a little lost. My husband and I have been vanilla our whole marriage, so any type of kink is fairly new to me and started with this other relationship. I've read "Screw the roses, send me the thorns" and while it was a good overview of BDSM in general, I'd love to find something a little more geared towards the domme side of things.

Thanks!
I've followed some of the links on Franklin Veaux' BDSM page at http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdlinks.html

http://www.frugaldomme.com/ was a portal-like site that had some interesting bits and pieces as well.

There are also plenty of books specifically written for (novice) dominant women.
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  #408  
Old 05-05-2011, 02:05 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
I got to feeling distant from her that night and into the next day. I really felt frozen. I didn't have any idea I'd feel that way. It wasn't jealousy. I am glad M provides something I can't give her. Altho when we were driving to his place, I said, "I feel weird about this because I don't understand your (hers and M's) relationship." And my gf said, "Neither do I." heh

I got over my weird feelings by Saturday night, we had our usual great connection, movie, dinner, cuddles, sexy times.
Maybe it just had to do with being at M's place, where you have no authority. You know you were in somewhat unfamiliar territory, and your gf was in a unfamiliar position there, which is different from how you relate to her. I could see that as simply being disorienting.
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  #409  
Old 05-05-2011, 03:08 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Maybe it just had to do with being at M's place, where you have no authority. You know you were in somewhat unfamiliar territory, and your gf was in a unfamiliar position there, which is different from how you relate to her. I could see that as simply being disorienting.
Yes, that's exactly it, Cindie. Plus, their apartment was such a wreck. I'm far from the world's best housekeeper, but I get antsy when I sit in the midst of such clutter and disorganization. It's a lovely 12th floor luxury apartment with an amazing view of the Boston skyline, and they just let things build up everywhere... ugh. Packaging, dishes, several piles of mail, bits of the dog's rope chew toy all over the carpet, shopping bags, foyer a mess of shoes and detritus. There was not one cleared surface in the place.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #410  
Old 05-05-2011, 05:39 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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That sounds yucky all around. How uncomfortable.

How do I get me a domestic slave?.... hmmmmm.....
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