BDsm

[Ariakas]

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance

Maca and I are working on the details of a 24/7 D/s relationship.

[[cough]] ummmm..[[/cough]]

in a poly relationship...a 24/7 D/s is all but impossible unless the other metamours (is that right) are involved also. At least that would be my take...I wish I could remember what a bdsm family is called...

In the end labels don't matter, just thinking

[LovingRadiance]

Yes Ariakas-
I'm aware.

But negotiating something like this isn't a quick, simple, easy process.

HOWEVER-this little piece of trivia should make the other thread and why I am SO adamant that they need to be friends make more sense... mmm???

[LovingRadiance]

So ari-how come you haven't posted on the BDSM thread?

[maca]

Its really not that Impossible. In LR's and I's D/s relationship we have boundries and one of those is that I do not and will not ask of her anything that would take away from her relationship or her abality to have her relationship with GG.

Besides the boundry' list there is the fact that as her Dom I would not and cant not take advantage of the control over her that she has given to me. I love her and in order for her to trust me and I her then I cant break that boundry.

GG has expressed his non-intrest in D/s but I can tell you that he does benefit from the D/s relationship that LR and I have. Maybe not as much as LR or I do but its interesting to see the effects on LR ( with GG ) when she is feeling safe in our D/s relationship.

[LovingRadiance]

Did you say that outloud????!!!????


Spilling my secrets already!!??!!

And we haven't even consummated the relationship yet Maca!

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by PittDruid

I found this on a kink site in a poly group. Just wanted to see what everyone thought about it. This was posted by a female.
"Do you think that OPP, unicorn hunting, closed triads, relationships with endless rules, and other such phenomena are signs of healthy relationships or a combination of male insecurity and misogyny? " I figured it was a interesting view point.(I do not agree since my wife has made most of the rules in our poly relationship.)

Wow, this was even question? I see it more of a statement on her part... she thinks this, she should of said why she does and then asked what others think. Perhaps that would of elevated the insult?

[SchrodingersCat]

Originally Posted by Ariakas

[[cough]] ummmm..[[/cough]]

in a poly relationship...a 24/7 D/s is all but impossible unless the other metamours (is that right) are involved also. At least that would be my take...I wish I could remember what a bdsm family is called...

In the end labels don't matter, just thinking

I don't think it's impossible at all. Besides LR, I know of another Domme who lives a 24/7 D/s lifestyle with one submissive and has a second partner with whom she does not live.

24/7 isn't the same as TPE (total power exchange). 24/7 means the D/s extends beyond the scenes into everyday life. TPE means the Dom has the right to control each and every aspect of the submissives life, should They choose to do so. Within 24/7, there is still room to negotiate which aspects of the sub's life the Dom will be permitted to control. This does not preclude negotiating the right to have a romantic relationship with someone else, which will not be controlled by the Dom. A loving Dom would not want to stand in the way of their sub's full happiness and living up to their full potential.

[Ariakas]

Maca, LR and Schro,

My mistake and thanks for explaining. I guess when I read/hear 24/7, I don't seperate that from TPE ...

RP,

yes, that is a word for word copy of the thread question

LR,

I don't know why I haven't...I check randomly but nothing has come up to pique a response

[Ariakas]

Originally Posted by Breathesgirl

A lot of times (dare I say most times?) the person needs to be Dominant in their personal life as well, not just bedroom or kink.

You've heard the term 'true submissive?" (HUGE squick factor here btw. I HATE that term!) Some people claim that you can only be submissive if you it is in your blood, who you were born to be....BULL!!!!!

It could be a matter of semantics, but could "true" be interchanged with "natural"...I am a natural top/dom...I have 0 submissive tendencies...however i do have fantasies to submit...finding that right person, with the correct chemistry that might be able to do it...I usually say it would take a person built like Chyna (female wrestler) but I am just simplifying it for the masses.

Those same people saying that about submissives, also probably don't like switches ...I betcha a poly bi switch just fugs them right up Holy crap, choices...there are no choices..hahaha

I do believe, though, that there is a Dominant or submissive trait in all of us. Some have one or the other and some have a little bit of both.

Some things you can teach: properly wielding a flogger or cane, for example.

Some things can't be taught: how to Dominate someone. (There can be a fine line between domineering and Dominating though)

I would agree ...although, I still remember my first time with a crop actually, the striking came naturally to me. However, pengrah, well lets just say her first attempt at domination was not good. She really wants to dominate a woman...however she is going to have to find the right chemistry as she sways to the submissive side a little more

[Ariakas]

I got started with bondage and fetish at 22 or 23...I had broken up with my first common-law wife...A girl from work and i got together and started playing around. It was supposed to be a purely, 4 month long, sexual relationship. We were both discovering things about ourselves and we experimented with everything. She was bi leaning towards lesbian and I was straight and as vanilla as you could get, just waiting to have fun.

Its at that time I discovered I like bondage, specifically bondage when combined with toy play. Throw a little sadism in there with the usual hot wax, cropping, flogging etc and it pretty much describes what I like ...

I would call myself more of a topping fetishist than anything. I will try pretty much anything once and tend to sway towards doing what the person I am topping wants. Definitely not a 24/7...but who knows as I go to more munches and meet more people, things might slide that way, especially if Pengrah can find someone she is compatible with to Top/dominate