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Old 07-03-2015, 07:15 PM
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Journeyofawakening Journeyofawakening is offline
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Default Age Gaps

I was thinking about age gaps recently, between people in a relationship and wondered what the thoughts of the people here are. What kind of ages gaps do those in polyamorous relationships have? Does it reflect the 'norm' for those who are monogamous or does it vary?

For those who have an age gap outside of the 'norm', what responses do you get to it, and does it bother you?

Just interested
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Old 07-03-2015, 07:36 PM
KC43 KC43 is offline
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I wouldn't say there is really any age gap in my situation. S2 is three months older than I am; Hubby is two years younger (which, in our 40s, doesn't really make an appreciable difference). My ex-boyfriend Guy, who was my first boyfriend after the poly thing became a thing, is a year younger than me.

Out of curiosity, what would you consider the "norm" for an age gap? I've known couples who had the same birthday (i.e. no gap at all), and couples who have a decade or more age difference. The valedictorian of my high school class married our history teacher, who was 25 years older, and they're still married twenty years later.
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Old 07-03-2015, 08:00 PM
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Journeyofawakening Journeyofawakening is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KC43 View Post
Out of curiosity, what would you consider the "norm" for an age gap? I've known couples who had the same birthday (i.e. no gap at all), and couples who have a decade or more age difference. The valedictorian of my high school class married our history teacher, who was 25 years older, and they're still married twenty years later.
Ha, I guess I don't know! I guess the majority of people I know have a 1-6 year gap, for those in a mono marriage with kids kind of thing.
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Old 07-03-2015, 08:34 PM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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My ex was 18 years older than me, Prof is 13 years older. Kip was 10 years older. Joe only 3 years older but it is rare for me to date anyone in my age range.
However my ex did lie about his age, knocked 6 years off and Prof knocked 3 years off on OKC, Dan from way back knocked 4-5 years off. I have never lied about my age bar making myself a few months older on OKC because I avoid putting in too much info online, though I why I bother trying with all these data breaches happening anyway...
To answer your question, I have rarely been with anyone within 1-6 years of my age. Nothing to do with being poly for me.
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Old 07-03-2015, 09:29 PM
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I dont care what other people do but for myself I'm only interested in being with people within a couple years of myself. I'm 35, my boyfriend is 32, and husband is 36.
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Old 07-03-2015, 10:32 PM
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My age gap with people I've dated has usually been quite small, max. +/-6 years. I was 17 when I met my now ex-husband JJ, who was 23 at the time. And now being almost 30 I've dated people who have been 23 or older, but not older than me usually. Hank is the only one after JJ who has been older, and he's only one year older than me.
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Old 07-03-2015, 11:45 PM
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I'll date 'em younger, older, or near my age. Never mattered much to me, and most of my life I was monogamous (I embraced poly 5 years ago).

I'd say most of my long-term committed relationships were guys who were close in age to me (+ or - 6-7 years), probably because we had more in common, but my dating profile on OKC is set to look for guys between 36 and 62 (I'm 55). I probably would not date anyone in their 20s, as that would feel weird to me, but one lover I was seeing for almost 2 years is 17 years younger than me and we hit it off just great. One guy I see now is older, but he won't tell me how much! I think he thinks he's too old for me, even though I've told him it doesn't matter.
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  #8  
Old 07-04-2015, 12:33 AM
RedSonja RedSonja is offline
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Nerdist is 5 years younger than me, Droid is 5 months older than me.
I've never dated older than me, youngest has been an 8 year age gap.
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Old 07-04-2015, 01:38 AM
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I'm 37. DarkKnight is 2 years older and PunkRock is 4 years older. I had a brief couple of hookups with a 21 year old and felt terrible about it because I couldn't take it seriously. I have slept with a 56 year old but he smelled of desperation and was the clingiest man I'd ever met. And when I call someone clingy, that is saying something!

I think I like guys that are just a few years older.
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Old 07-04-2015, 10:50 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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"half-your-age-plus-seven": The rule to define the youngest that a romantic interest can be before the relationship is indecent. (Urban Dictionary)

That gives me a low of 27.5 and a high of 66....hmmm. That range seems too broad to me on both ends. I think on OKC I put +/- 10 years. IRL? probably less than +/- 5 years. "Different places in our lives" is probably the best defining limiter for me (followed by whether they have kids).
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Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 07-04-2015 at 10:53 AM.
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