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  #21  
Old 12-02-2011, 06:35 PM
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vanille vanille is offline
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We've already been on a tour of the district and talked to a former girl who worked here. I'm not uncomfortable with this district. If he does it, I'm not going to judge him as choosing a bad decision. I have no problems with this profession (as long as it's by choice).

I will either go out on my own or stay home and read. The hotel upgraded our room and I'm looking forward to a bath!

I'm not asking whether or not it's ethical (though I appreciate the discussion on opinions). I was just wondering if people had similar experiences or thoughts about entering poly this way.
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  #22  
Old 12-02-2011, 08:36 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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If its OK to discuss prostitution more generally here...

I see a gender bias. Not all hookers are women. Many are gay men, many are transwomen, a few are transmen.

There is a HUGE fetish market out there for men who want to be with a "chick with a dick." Sadly, in our culture, many, if not most, transwomen can't get ordinary jobs, and turn to fetish photography, videos, or outright hooking.

When my gf was living as a man (she's now transitioned), she was a sex worker for a while. She'd go over to men's houses to clean them, or to fix their computers, and she'd get extra money to "have sex," which often consisted of a mere fetish. One guy was into diapers. They'd sit on the couch and watch TV and chat, w diapers on. One man in a wheelchair couldnt get a partner the usual way, and he had a spanking fetish, so my gf would lie across his lap and get a spanking (which she enjoyed).

It was good money, she had fun, so it was all win-win.

Many prostitutes enjoy their work. In ancient, pre-patriarchal days, sex workers were called holy ones, and had sex with devotees of their diety, as a representative of the Goddess. Prostitutes, to this day, can be considered sexual healers for broken people who can't get "sexual intimacy" any other way. A young soldier far overseas, missing home and girlfriend and plain old touching and comfort after all the trauma of battle, who can blame him for seeking an hour or so with a warm welcoming body?

Of course, in the US, many sex workers are addicted to drugs, and abused by their pimps. Regulation and affordable health care is the way to go.
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  #23  
Old 12-02-2011, 08:47 PM
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Well. I let him go! He just left. I'm drawing a bath right now. I feel good about it. We talked for so long about it these past few weeks and he went over and beyond in effort to make sure it was okay with me. I'm 100% sure he would have stayed home if I asked him to.
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  #24  
Old 12-02-2011, 08:50 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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You guys have certainly done the hard work to get where you are right now, it sounds to me like you're in a really positive, trusting, patient, communicative, and loving place in your relationship. Just where you need to be for any of this to work.
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  #25  
Old 12-02-2011, 09:38 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Yayyy !! I think you two have done well so far, as to be honest about desires, and differences. I also congratulate you both, on trying something, and being genuine with your worries and concerns.

At this point, since he went, I would only suggest that however it turns out ;
- Lots of fun.
Or
- Over-hyped and boring,

... that you chalk everything up to a learning lesson, and let it sit with you awhile, before you move forward in any direction.


I think it`s fantastic that prostitution is legal there. That the women are able to be educated about keeping their bodies healthy, and how to look after themselves with testing, and routine care.
If you are encouraged to treat your body like a prized possession, then you can engage in using your body as a means of making money like any prized fighter, athlete, sculptor, or blue collar worker does.



and dinged ?....For that comment,..you owe me $50.00. Cash please.
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  #26  
Old 12-02-2011, 09:41 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Too bad your question got overshadowed by a debate about the good or bad of prostitution, when you specifically stated that is not what you were looking for in this thread.

I think it's a good thing you let him go. It is no different than if he asked a friend for NSA sex and took her out to dinner in exchange for it. Difference here is the hooker is unknown and you're giving cash, not a meal. I think putting a control around it is a good way to test how you feel about it. Seems you feel pretty good, and I imagine he'll be pretty excited when he gets back to your hotel room!
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  #27  
Old 12-02-2011, 10:13 PM
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hyperskeptic hyperskeptic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Too bad your question got overshadowed by a debate about the good or bad of prostitution, when you specifically stated that is not what you were looking for in this thread.
I don't think the concerns I raised were entirely out of line, though the discussion probably went on too long. Occupational hazard, on my part.

Sorry about that.

As for what Vanille was looking for, she explicitly did not want

Quote:
Originally Posted by vanille View Post
the hate for prostitutes
I opened my first comment by saying it wasn't an issue of "hate for prostitutes", but qualms about prostitution itself.

One of her questions was:

Quote:
Originally Posted by vanille View Post
Do you think this might be an easier way to first experience poly?
My response was only a little to the side of that, questioning one of the assumptions built into the question: that the only relevant consideration is whether this is "easier" than other routes.

There are many easy routes to various goals about which there might be legitimate ethical concerns.

I'll shut the heck up, now.
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  #28  
Old 12-02-2011, 10:17 PM
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Wow! I cant wait to hear what happens next !!

If there was a slot to put money in, to hear the next part of the story, I would ! lol!
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  #29  
Old 12-02-2011, 10:18 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Oh geez.
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  #30  
Old 12-02-2011, 10:19 PM
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vanille vanille is offline
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Well .. He came home. First of all, he said I could post this. I won't go into too much detail. Needless to say, he got con'ed It was something we could laugh about though, and that's a great sign I think.

He's actually going out one more time. He asked what I thought and offered to stay. But I really did want him to have a good time. Honestly, I won't be surprised if he gets con'ed again, but it's his money (I'm don't work at the moment) and we leave tomorrow morning.

(he paid €50 for 5-10 minutes of head, when he thought it was for head and sex)
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