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  #1  
Old 01-05-2014, 09:23 PM
littlefly34 littlefly34 is offline
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Default The best dating site for gay poly?

im not sure if im in the right area but i was wonder what the best dating site was for gay poly
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  #2  
Old 01-06-2014, 05:26 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Most folks poly and gay/straight/bi/other seem to like OKcupid. You can be married or in a relationship and still available.

Some people on there will complain that the matches don't work well for them...but my personal feeling is that those people don't take the time to answer the questions seriously or rate them appropriately.

I answered tons of questions (and gave comments for many of them - although that doesn't play into the algorithm). I found the matches % to be very accurate for me for people who answered 500 questions or more. (I focused on the open/poly questions and homophobia questions to screen out people.)

My straight poly boyfriend met his married bi poly girlfriend on OKC and my lesbian mono friend met her fiance on OKC...just saying. (PS. In its most basic form it's free...so doesn't hurt to try.)
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
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Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


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  #3  
Old 01-07-2014, 10:42 PM
bofish bofish is offline
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This brings up an interesting question. Is there such a thing as "gay poly?" I have been thinking about this a lot. Since monogamy is a decision, not a norm in gay male culture, it seems the vocabulary and need isn't the same.
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Old 01-08-2014, 12:44 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bofish View Post
This brings up an interesting question. Is there such a thing as "gay poly?" I have been thinking about this a lot. Since monogamy is a decision, not a norm in gay male culture, it seems the vocabulary and need isn't the same.
I think almost all of my gay friends are monogamous. One coupling has been together over 12 years with no interest in non-monogamy.

I don't know about in general, but being gay should not and does not imply being poly or non-monogamous. One is a relationship type, and the other is not.

Unless I don't understand what you wrote.. could be.. currently have baby brain.

I also vote for OKC. But then again I am not gay. OKC allows for a way to identify as gay, and as coupled and available. I don't know of any other match making site that does that. Might have to hit up meetups and other local events to find the poly relationship you want

Last edited by Ariakas; 01-08-2014 at 12:47 AM.
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  #5  
Old 01-08-2014, 02:36 AM
bofish bofish is offline
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I am more speaking of men. I don't know many gay women. I have had many many gay men in my life since teenager hood and have discussed relationships with them. I have never met a gay man who was monogamous. I've also not met a gay man who used the term poly. I also don't see any gay men here.

I am not meaning to be harsh. I think there are expectation amongst hetrosexuals that are not "the norm" in gay culture.
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  #6  
Old 04-11-2014, 12:57 PM
OptimistiCynic OptimistiCynic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bofish View Post
I also don't see any gay men here.
*waves*

I'm gay. In a relationship with a bisexual man and a bisexual woman. We all three sleep together, occasionally enjoy some sexy times together, all hang out together 3+ times a week. I'm mono. So is she. And he would be if his identity didn't contain dual sides. We are polyfidelitous.

Also, there is another gay triad that posts here sometimes.

I agree that gay men often don't have a use for the language of poly, because non-monogamy is much more accepted than in heterosexual communities, but to assume that no gay men are monogamous is a little ridiculous, whether you know any or not.
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