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Old 11-22-2011, 05:37 AM
Laluna Laluna is offline
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Default mono/poly relationship?

I have recently ended a three year monogomous relationship but am currently still living with my ex-partner and his (my step daughter) 5yr old. When we first met i was ademently against relationships on the basis of my not quite understood polyamorous feelings. Still there was an undeniable attraction between us, these things do seem to happen when your least ready for them, and after a few months of trying to be just friends and many debates about monogamy, i caved in and compromised my beliefs to try and suit his. We have lived incrediable well together, however i've never been entirely comfortable with his possesive jelousy and although i never cheated on him was left feeling as guilty as if i had because of his often paranoied, jelouse reactions. and a guilt over a strong emotional connection i have to another person, which felt like a betral to me, as with his definate monogomy, it is a connection he cannot really understand or accept. i did not act upon this either. for these reasons and a few other issues i have with needing more freedom, and other inequalities, i ended our relationship. we were both quite hurt and he has been more understanding than i could ever imagine. we will be living together for another two weeks and are still sharing a room. we seem to be closer now than ever before. though tecnically, we are not together anymore. he admits to being unable to see me with anyone eles but knows it is no longer his place to withhold me from doing so. i love him but cannot be confined. things would be perfect if they could continue the way they are. i feel like we are more together than ever, but he is still unable to accept me as his partner in this way. is it hurtful and selfish to still be having relations with him when it defies his stance on relationships so?
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Old 11-22-2011, 07:01 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Hello. Please put some paragraph breaks in your text so that it is easier to read... thanks

There is a lot here about mono/poly relationships if you would be interested in doing a search in the tags for "mono/poly." I myself live with a man that is mono and my husband that is poly. Its a difficult and frustrating journey of endless compromises to no end in terms of comfortable agreements. If you can manage that then all the power to you. My blog lays our whole journey out... its been years now of trying to understand each other.

As for the situation at hand. Its two weeks of breaking up it seems... break up sex is fine I think. As long as you are both aware that that is what it is and say goodbye at the end. At the same time, if you are wanting to try again then try again. There is really no right answer... only what you both think is right for you.
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