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Old 04-19-2009, 09:14 PM
Rose36 Rose36 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2
Question New to poly and loosing some old friends

I am wondering if this is normal but it seems that I have to choose between some of my old friends and being poly. I have many old friends over the years and newer, very close friends that I hate to loose but I have already had two that feel that they cannot be my friend if I am poly. I feel that I have keep it a secret of I will loose more friends. Any advice? or Experience with this?
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Old 04-19-2009, 10:18 PM
Quath Quath is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 504

From my personal experience, I find that my true friends stand by me for being myself and not what they want me to be. But for every friend you lose because you are poly, I bet you will gain new friends because you are poly.
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Old 04-20-2009, 09:34 PM
Shana Shana is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Utah..moving to California any moment
Posts: 4

I'm sorry to hear that

the friends I have chosen to tell are happy for me, and patting me on the back.. because they are real friends an accept me for who I am..even some of my family knows and they're totally okay with it. But there are some I just can't tell..

there are people one of my BFs have told, and they no longer speak to him..and my other BF won't tell anyone because of the fear..

Its hard not to be able to tell the people you care about and love what a wonderful thing this can really be.

I guess in this case you just gotta weigh your options..or approach your friends on the subject before telling them you're poly. thats what I have done.. it eased the blow.
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Old 04-21-2009, 09:59 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

That's sad.

Every relationship we have, though, may end due to any number of reasons. That some old friends are uncomfortable with the way we've grown is just one among many. It's painful to lose a friend in that fashion.

That they fail to be able to adjust to us growing and that they selfishly insist we not change shows that they're just not good company to keep at this time. Anybody who can't be happy for us in our relationships isn't capable of being a close, supportive friend. If they refuse to remain friends, it's their choice.

And they may be back some day. I've had people I've walked away from in the past pop up a few years later and apologize for their behavior.
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