Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 11-18-2011, 10:26 PM
SchrodingersCat's Avatar
SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,050
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Well, they can! That's what strapons are for!
Actually, the technical definition of coitus is "Sexual union between a male and a female involving insertion of the penis into the vagina" which means strap-ons don't count. Sure, that's still sex-stuff, and it's still vaginal penetration, but not "coitus" specifically. While I'm more than willing to allow people to use their own definitions for things like "sex" and "making out" etc., clinical terms have very specific, culturally-irrelevant definitions. "Coitus" has got to be the most clinical sounding term I can possibly think of. I can't use that word without thinking of Big Bang Theory...

Quote:
I totally respect that view, but to me, any kind of genital arousal and orgasm producing activity is sex, or at least "sexy time."
I see a huge difference between "sex" and "sexy time." Just like I see a huge difference between fucking and making love.

Quote:
Ahhh, I love a good makeout session. I think sometimes couples that are used to just fucking don't make out enough. It's romantic.
Agree with the second point. "Just fucking" is terribly unsatisfying.. hence why I think putting "sex" up on a pedestal is pointless. My husband and I do a lot of sexual activities that are not just fucking. I just don't think of those as making out.

I don't really see what's so romantic about making out. I just find the act completely unsatisfying. I love to cuddle, I love intimate kisses that say "I love you" with my lips, I love romantic massages... but I hate the feeling of another tongue in my mouth, it majorly turns me off. My nipples and breasts have issues that usually make them sore to play with much, so someone feeling them up is uncomfortable. I guess I have no aversion to dry-humping, but nor do I have any real interest it... we'll put that one under "indifferent."

In essence, making out, assuming we're using the same understanding of the phrase, just bores me. We have a pretty good toolbox of foreplay, we have a very extensive toolbox of "sexy-stuff that isn't coitus," so none of this is coming from a straight-edge, traditional, missionary only and then only to conceive type mind frame. If anything, it's coming from knowing exactly what I like and don't like, and not wasting time with things I find unstimulating.

Edit: it's also possible that everyone I've ever made out with is just no good at it :P food for thought...
__________________
Gralson: my husband. Auto: my girlfriend.
Zoffee: Auto's husband. Cue: Zoffee's boyfriend. Bookie: Cue's wife.

"Crowns do queer things to the heads beneath them."

Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 11-18-2011 at 10:29 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 11-19-2011, 03:18 PM
gleegirl1203 gleegirl1203 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 21
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Ahhh, I love a good makeout session. I think sometimes couples that are used to just fucking don't make out enough. It's romantic.
I love making out. I thinks it's really romantic, and sometimes the buildup and then not doing anything other than that really excites me. My fiance hates it though. He says there's no point in making out if we aren't going to have sex because it's just a tease. I think that's silly. Teasing is fun!

This thread is really interesting, because a similar conversation happened recently between my fiance, me, and a close friend. I spent the day last month with our boyfriend and my fiance's only thing was that we were not to have "sex". My definition of "sex" with a man is penis in the vagina. (I have had f-f relationships before so the definition changes depending on the gender!) So I consider everything else (making out, handjobs, blow jobs, oral, anal, etc) to be foreplay or sexual activities that aren't actual sex. He considers sex anything that isn't making out. Since our definitions didn't match up he was a little upset when I told him what happened, but realized that I didn't cross any lines intentionally, we just weren't on the same page definition wise.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 11-23-2011, 10:32 PM
bulrush bulrush is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: West Michigan
Posts: 37
Default

My definitions:
- Sex: where 2 or more people are involved, and someone's genitals are touched in any manner by another person.

- Intercourse: PIV sex where one partner is penetrated by another with a body part. In the case of heterosexual couples the woman can get pregnant this way, possibly. My definition also accounts for lesbians using a strap on and a male gay couple.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 11-24-2011, 12:31 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,174
Default

Bulrush,

Out of curiosity, does fisting meet your intercourse definition?
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 11-25-2011, 02:42 AM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,282
Default

FISTING?

Sorry, somehow that just struck me as funny.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

There's no lying in polyamory!

I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 11-25-2011, 04:03 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,174
Default

Mags,

Glad you lol'ed!

But what else would you call the act of inserting one's hand (or as much of one's hand as possible) into another's vagina or anus?

Handing? The full hoo-hah? Five finger fun?

I am always curious how people define various sexual activities. I find it fascinating.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
definitions, pace, sex

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:52 PM.