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  #11  
Old 11-11-2011, 04:20 PM
RSM RSM is offline
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there is alot of discussion here on what I initially see as a very simple solution.
You could very well fit into a poly relationship, the key is a very basic concept of finding the right one. It will basically be a cpl + you and not a triad or more for that matter. You seem very open, self aware of the issues going on with you and based on that alone I would accept you into my dianamic and would be totally fine with you coming or going as you please and allowing you to be as involved or not as you are comfortable with. The key to this thought process is open communication (naturally) but one rung up from normal poly relationships. You have to practice the idea of dedication to the others by/ through your actions. "you dont come over all the time but you dont go into another house either" The ones you are involved with must understand that aspect to you and see that it doesnt mean you arent interested or feel less or that you are just using them to get your jollies off. Open up, ask around, and be up front about it. I dont know if you are a girl or guy but if you are a girl then I would be perfectly fine with the way you are. I find it rather intersting and attractive actually and it wouldnt change my level of commitment or expression of emotion toward you. No need to stress over it too much.
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  #12  
Old 11-14-2011, 12:52 AM
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The key to this thought process is open communication (naturally) but one rung up from normal poly relationships. You have to practice the idea of dedication to the others by/ through your actions. "you dont come over all the time but you dont go into another house either" The ones you are involved with must understand that aspect ...
The section of your post that I've quoted above is very confusing to me. What the hell is a "normal" poly relationship? And what does "one rung up" from that mean, exactly? The sentences that follow make no sense to me, either - can you explain what you meant?
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Old 11-14-2011, 11:11 AM
RSM RSM is offline
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More than likely poor wording on my part in the effort for speedy typing. Maybe substitue 'typical' for 'normal'. It's par for the corse that open communication is an absolute must in any poly relationship. It's expected. That being said this particular situation steps outside (imo) from even that. Basically I meant that extra care should be taken to ensure that all are on the same level of understanding/ what to expect/ and how it will be handled. As far as the following sentences I tried to put myself in the same situation. If I approached a cpl and said I was interested in forming a relationship, but I am only comfortable within certain limitations that is not typical of what most people expect. They accept and we are all now in a relationship. In this situation from my perspective I would feel that I would have to make sure that they understood my character and if they are not used to it, then how would they see me? I would be interacting when I felt the need, casually or sexually either way. I still owe those ppl a certain amount of reassurance that their expendature of their emotional selves to me is not seen as me taking advantage when I would not be following a pattern that most people would expect. There is more to my thought process when I wrote that but this would turn into an essay and not a comment. but hopfully that cleared up at least the direction I meant to go.
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Old 11-14-2011, 08:17 PM
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As far as the following sentences I tried to put myself in the same situation. If I approached a cpl and said I was interested in forming a relationship, but I am only comfortable within certain limitations that is not typical of what most people expect.
Hmm, I don't know about that. What could possibly be typically expected when poly is so customizable? Everyone entering a relationship has their own past experiences upon which they formulate an approach, and no one is the same. Almost any configuration and set of boundaries can be made. It all depends on the people involved. If I approached a couple to be in a relationship with them, I'd consider it a given that there is no typical expectation and it's up to us to determine how we want it to proceed. I'm not into couples but that's how I approach any relationship.
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