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Old 02-20-2012, 05:25 PM
Trevorski Trevorski is offline
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Default Misunderstanding.

I have been with my partner for 7 years now and we have had our up's and downs, like most. But recently I got upset cause we our honesty which is very strong seemed to be all jumbled up. She is seeing a few partners which we discuss openly and we are open about this, but lately she has mixes up her stories about who she was with which night and when. I got mad cause if you can't remember who you were with then why even share. We both enjoy sharing our adventures but when it is unclear and the story has holes I get worried that our honesty level are dropping. Should I be? Am I being a worried partner who is perhaps having issues with jealousy?
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Old 02-20-2012, 06:21 PM
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You live together and you aren't aware of which partner she is seeing on any given day, I mean, beforehand? My gf always knows which of my others I am seeing on this or that night or weekend.

How many partners does your partner have, anyway? Is there love, or is she running around having casual sex?
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Old 02-20-2012, 07:18 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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You seem to want to give the benefit of doubt. " Our honesty is jumbled up".
"She's mixing up her stories."

Your being fed bullshit ...no one is continually mixed up ...or has holes in several stories about this kind of stuff and your gut is telling you that. Its not jealousy its betrayal.

Confirm the lies and find out why she thinks she need to do that.
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Old 02-20-2012, 08:05 PM
opalescent opalescent is online now
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I ask this seriously. Does your partner drink? Alcohol or other substances can cause people to not remember things or mix stuff up.
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Old 02-20-2012, 09:40 PM
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I was wondering about alcohol and also about how fast her life is going. I know when the pace I keep goes too fast I get confused and overwhelmed. I don't purposely lie, but my facts get jumbled. I have to sort them out with people sometimes as I become aware that they misunderstood what I said or I didn't explain myself properly.

I think if I were in your situation, provided she has been honest until now, has a full plate of lovers and life, and because I like to be compassionate, I would sit her down for a talk about it. I don't need to know everything people do, but who they are seeing when is important to me. I would also express my concern about the possibility of her being overwhelmed. I would be very patient and empathetic and hold my frustration coming out (maybe say its frustrating for me) as it could just be that its not something that's a big deal, just an over sight that needs ironing out.
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:00 AM
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Lots of things could cause jumbled thoughts and get in the way of remembering correctly. It could be stress, but it also sounds a little like ADD, which is very different in women than in men, and usually comes out in women during adulthood, whereas with guys it usually manifests when they are quite young. I have ADD tendencies, and facts get very mixed-up in my mind, especially when I feel like there is pressure on me to get it right. I especially have problems with time and days of the week, knowing what happened when. It sometimes takes a lot of work in my head to recall things in chronological order.

I would say, be patient and try to find a system, whether via a calendar that you both can access, or a way to check-in with each other before you each have dates, so you both know where the other is. After all, it is a safety issue, so you both would probably do best to know beforehand where you are.
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Last edited by nycindie; 02-21-2012 at 12:05 AM.
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Old 02-22-2012, 02:38 PM
Trevorski Trevorski is offline
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Thanks alot I appreciate your advice!! It is very sound thank you!!
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Old 02-22-2012, 02:43 PM
Trevorski Trevorski is offline
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2-3 and she only loves me, and no casual sex we don't agree with that.
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Old 02-22-2012, 02:45 PM
Trevorski Trevorski is offline
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Yes thanks I guess I was over reacting and it is often a problem with our types of relationships, because the honesty is so important. And I was not tying to understand just seeing it from my point of view, thanks!!
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Old 02-22-2012, 09:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trevorski View Post
2-3 and she only loves me, and no casual sex we don't agree with that.
So she has 2-3 other partners, but she only loves you. Are all of these other relationships new? Because unless she is purposefully keeping herself distant for your benefit, I don't see how she could have 4 partners total and only love one. How are they partners then? Or are they just 2-3 people you've agreed she can have sex with?
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