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Old 11-25-2009, 07:15 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Default Fullness-emotional, physical-how our relationships relate to our eating habits.

I can't NOT start this-it's HUGE to me right now. Hopefully RP is ok with me copying her comment and my reply from the thread I started on thirds.

Originally Posted by redpepper
Fullness, totally get the fullness.... I am full like I've had a big meal. I find it interesting that I am more "fit" than I ever have been in my whole life, yet feel so full. Might I suggest that I have replaced the need to be physically full with the need to be emotionally full. Perhaps I was replacing food for love of others and myself?

My co-worker told me the other day that she thinks I now have an eating disorder because I chose to feel hungry sometimes (she is a woman that enjoys her food). She was angry that I have made huge changes and shifts in my relationship to food in the last two years and thinks I have a problem. I find it interesting that we both would eat together and both talked about our feelings of not being complete back then. Now I don't have that feeling and I assume she still does as her life hasn't changed as drastically as mine has.

I told her that I disagreed and that I am happy, and don't have a need to make myself happy with food anymore. Just a thought ...

Sorry, ...I have gone off on so many tangents this morning!!!! you'll all just have to put up with me.... I feel chatty and not into talking so much about poly. Perhaps it will all relate at some point.

How can you say that doesn't relate to poly my friend! I was sitting here open mouthed telling GG "OMG I think RP and I might be clones with different body types!"
I've noticed just in the last month that my relationship with food is SO completely different and it freaks me out sometimes-but at the same time, I was 216 lbs at my highest-and heartbroken (when I was younger, prior to marriage I was always in EXCELLENT physical shape) and with a LOT of hard work I got to 180. But that was where I got stuck and there was no doubt it was because I wasn't getting my emotional needs met-so I kept "stuffing food in" to fill that emptiness. Now that so many more of my emotional needs are being met, I don't feel like eating so much. I actually eat an almost exactly perfect diet-without thinking about it at all! I've dropped to 166.

Meeting our emotional needs is a HUGE problem today-at least in the US. AND weight problems are a HUGE HUGE issue today-at least in the US. I think that this MUST relate to how we function in relationships-and I poly is certainly a type of relationship!.

We should make a thread on this!
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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Old 11-25-2009, 07:28 PM
LuvNWonder LuvNWonder is offline
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I'd have to agree completely with the fullness/emotional/physical link because for me an increase in emotional fullness and relational fitness has coincided with a 35 lb. drop in the past two years. I too have no problem choosing to feel hungry sometimes because my body is just being silly and I'll feed it when it's time.

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Old 11-25-2009, 07:39 PM
Ilove2men Ilove2men is offline
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My happiness also affects my eating habits, but opposite. My natural weight is 96 lbs. (I'm short so trust me I'm not a skeloton lol) I eat a lot because I have a fast metabolism and well... I love food it makes me happy WHEN im happy. When I am not happy, I have no appetite. Food tastes like I'm chewing sawdust and I have to force myself to eat so I don't loose weight. When my fiance went through the roughest part of his addiction I lost 11lbs in a week because what little I could swallow came right back up. Which at my size is a huge weight loss that takes hard work to gain back.

So, my health and happiness go hand in hand. I think all people are this way in some shape or form.

So where your emotional hunger can cause you to eat more it causes me I guess.... the same starvation physically as I feel emotionlly. idk... Alls know is I've been eating quite well these days. lol I took a picture of the scale showing I was at 101lbs and my family teased saying those weren't my feet. lol So bring on the Turkey!

Last edited by Ilove2men; 11-25-2009 at 07:51 PM. Reason: more to say
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:12 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Last yr I had about given up on my mono marriage (so sick of my h and his poor communication skills, even our therapist had pretty much given up on him, he just has so many issues, he can't LISTEN).

I went to 3 Eddie Izzard tour dates (which helped me strengthen my queer ID) and accidentally started an intense internet flirtation w a single man from Colorado. I flirted a bit less intensely w a few others as well.

And then my h and i broke up.

On the way, I lost 50 lbs, and have kept it off.

I am so much happier now. My gf v recently told me I even look younger than when she met me in January!
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62), dating... again!
Pixi (poly, F, 40) my darling nesting partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's Dom/bf since April 2013
Kahlo (my ex, 46)
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Old 11-26-2009, 12:35 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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I don't eat any more when I'm upset nor when I'm feeling energized. My appetite varies by ridiculous amounts seemingly at random.

Of course, everything my body has done over the past several years has been really erratic. I had a treatment several years ago that messed me up from top to bottom and the aftereffects of that haven't finished shaking out as yet.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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Old 11-26-2009, 01:23 AM
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My eating habits are more related to how well I'm living my life than to my partnerships. Generally, if things are going well and I feel on a good path, I eat well. When I feel stuck or headed the wrong way, I eat horribly. Alas, my current circumstances lean towards horrible eating due to the fact that I'm living with my folks and not on my terms in general. :s
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Old 11-26-2009, 05:08 AM
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rolypoly rolypoly is offline
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Thank you for beginning this thread. I am enjoying reading about everyone's relationships to food.

I have had eating disorders in the past, (bulemia, anorexia, overeating). It's been difficult for me over the years to admit where these came from, (neglect, chaos in my family, etc) because I know how much I'm loved and had such a wonderful mother. (Off topic, but right now it feels like everything is getting a light shone onto it).

My relationship to food has also been affected and is still affected by a chronic illness. I have severe food allergies and am very restricted in what I eat. I've finally narrowed down my diet to foods that work for me. I've also narrowed my relationships down to people that work for me. Hmm...

I can definitely relate to feeling "full" when I'm in love. There's definitely a part of me that feels empty a lot of the time and feels full when I'm surrounded by people that I feel safe sharing love with. It's a beautiful feeling.

I think the body needs to feel that fullness of love. It's primal.

Although a low thyroid might prevent this, maybe having healthier relationships in my life will help me get to a healthier weight soon.
My heart is too big to fit into one person.
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Old 11-26-2009, 08:28 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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the Bare Naked Ladies say it well, in their song, Life, in a nut shell;

"She's like a baby, I'm like a cat;
When we are happy, we both get fat"
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Old 11-27-2009, 01:15 AM
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maca maca is offline
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I dont know that I have much of a link to eating and relationship happiness.I can gain or lose weight pretty much at will. LR and I made a bet a week ago to see who got to 150 first. I started at 160 her at 166. I know not really fair but if it helps motivate her Im game.The wager is if she wins she get a day at the spa with a massage/pedicure/manicure etc. If I win SHE gets a day at the spa with a massage/pedicure/manicure etc. She desevers it either way IMO.

But in that week by just cutting my portions( and thats it . No extra exercise) Ive lost 5 lbs. <Shrug> maybe its just me.
" NO WORDDIES BE HAPPY"- My 2 year old baby girl
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Old 11-30-2009, 06:11 PM
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Erosa Erosa is offline
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Well from what I understand, food constumption is directly related to body chemestry.

For many people, a happy relationship released massive amounts of dopamine and seratonin into the brain producing a feeling of well being and 'rose colored glasses'. Depending on what people psychologically associate food with (well being or lack their of) they will eat more or less as the relationship chemicals flux.

Me personally, the happier I am, the healthier I am. When I'm depressed I tend to eat a lot but loose weight constantly due to 'raging metabolism syndrom' that is triggered by trying to replace seratonin with carbs. 0_0
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eating for emotional need, emotional health, fullness, physical health, relationships

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