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  #11  
Old 09-21-2009, 05:40 PM
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WaywardDruid WaywardDruid is offline
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Lightbulb Hmmmm

I am Normal. It's them and they that are abby-normal.

If they or them have a problem with my life choices then it's their problem, not mine.

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  #12  
Old 09-21-2009, 05:52 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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It's like anything else. People will find a problem with something even if you're not "poly", so as long as whatever it is isn't illegal, let them think whatever they think and do what is best for YOU. You can't change the world, but you can change how you react to it.

That is like saying, "I will not cut my hair a certain way because some people might not accept me, or they will think I am [this way] because other people who have a green mohawk or a blond mullet "are" [this way].

It sucks when it's your parents or your boss because those people, their opinions do matter to a degree, but they can either deal with it or you can organize your life in such a way that it doesn't affect your routine.

Having said all that, I am not "practicing" a polyamorous lifestyle at this time, but I do cat rescue, and people judge me for that, so I do know what I am talking about after all.
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  #13  
Old 09-21-2009, 06:25 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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There are very few people I let into my life or develop true connection with. There are even less that I care about thier opinions of me. I really don't care how most view my life and am more concerned about how those I love are treated. I can be isolated without great impact, it's disrespect towards my chosen family that will get a response.

In general though, I find as soon as people see us together they relax and see that we are happy. If they can't see past thier own shit and handle it, fuck them. As long as they aren't hurting my family I'm cool with not interacting with them. If thier intention is to hurt my family then I'm perfectly happy to interact with them on that level as well
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  #14  
Old 09-21-2009, 09:14 PM
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I would say 95% of our friends know (good friends) and about 20% of our family knows so far. With our friends, all but one (whom you might have read as they psyco) hasn't really flinched when we told them. Most were aware of our previous relationship and want us to be happy. Some are concerned and maybe don't understand it really, but they are supportive.
As for family, I can only speak for my side, One of my cousins know, and my birthmother (Was adopted) and brother and his gf know. That's it. She's more like a sister to me though than a cousin. She's always supportive and wants me to be happy. The only reason my parents don't know is I want them to see our relationship is strong and established. Especially after just coming out of a long, unhealthy relationship and moving half way around the world. I don't plan on hiding it from them forever. They've already commented on how much happier I sound and look (while on skype) now I'm here.
As for anyone else, I really don't care what they think. The kids have seen some affection on all our parts and haven't seemed to think twice about it. Really their wellbeing is all I care about besides, my loves obviously. No one elses oppinion matters. They'll deal and stick around or they wont, and if they don't, then they're not worth my love and attention.
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  #15  
Old 09-21-2009, 09:22 PM
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Sunshinegrl Sunshinegrl is offline
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As Al said Above. most of our friends know. I have one friend who is a bit silly about it all. Especially after Her mum seen AL and I out and Seen me grab her on the bum. hehe But Generally Its been a Kinda Each to their own kind of attitude. And the kids don't seem to be phased at all.
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  #16  
Old 09-21-2009, 10:00 PM
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I'm one of the folks that couldn't care less what others think of me or my choices. I live to make myself happy... not them.
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  #17  
Old 09-21-2009, 10:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunshinegrl View Post
I have one friend who is a bit silly about it all. Especially after Her mum seen AL and I out and Seen me grab her on the bum. hehe
Ahh yes, as she said the "grope session" clearly our hands were all over each other at Target.
Ooh, this friend too, last week, asked me how my weekend was, I told her I was a bit sore (I had been to my first tai bo class the day before) she right away laughs and says "I don't think I want to know" Like I was about to complain from being sore from sex. ummmm noooooooooo, don't think so.
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  #18  
Old 09-22-2009, 01:11 AM
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greenearthal greenearthal is offline
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I am fortunate to have been raised by a mother who would have been fine with it. And presently I have very few ties that can deeply affect me, so I feel free to be completely publicly poly. I try very hard not to be "in your face" poly, but I also don't shy away from it in any situations. I try to play very nonchalant about it but, if I'm totally honest, I have to admit that I have gotten a little charge out of it the first time a phrase like "my other girlfriend" or "my girlfriend's other boyfriend" would come up in conversations with my old boss or other similarly socially conservative people.
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  #19  
Old 09-22-2009, 02:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
There are very few people I let into my life or develop true connection with. There are even less that I care about thier opinions of me. I really don't care how most view my life and am more concerned about how those I love are treated. I can be isolated without great impact, it's disrespect towards my chosen family that will get a response.

In general though, I find as soon as people see us together they relax and see that we are happy. If they can't see past thier own shit and handle it, fuck them. As long as they aren't hurting my family I'm cool with not interacting with them. If thier intention is to hurt my family then I'm perfectly happy to interact with them on that level as well
Well said, no sense wasting time worrying about what people who have no bearing on your life think!!
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  #20  
Old 09-22-2009, 05:01 AM
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I don't think there is an easy road. People will think what they think. You can let the whispers and finger pointing make you insecure, but keep in mind, you don't take those people home with you. What they think is of no real consequence. The people who know you, who accept you, who love you, they are the only ones who matter.
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