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  #1  
Old 05-07-2014, 05:00 PM
DWicked DWicked is offline
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Default Moving in together

We are a very new Vee but are confident a home together is a logical next step. We are a 45/Hetero/Male/28/Bi/F/19/Lesbian/F.
Since I am older and more aware I am the only one of us who even knew poly was a thing. My GF had never acknowledged her bi orientation, though she had been intimatewith women in the past.When she met our new partner she experienced emotional attraction to a female for the first time. Now she has accepted who she is. Neither of them thought originally I would be willing to let this be a longterm thing, but I am logical enough to realize if they are into each other either I can accept and support their relationship, or I can lose my GF altogether. Mostly I am here to see what others share and experiece so I have context for what lies ahead for us. Knowledge and awareness enables discussion. Hopefully that helps keep us all happy, sane and healthy.
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Old 05-07-2014, 06:31 PM
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MsChristy MsChristy is offline
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How long have they been together?
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Old 05-07-2014, 09:13 PM
DWicked DWicked is offline
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They have been together about four months now and we all share a mutual love for martial arts. We spen d a lot of time together. This seems like a natural extension.
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Old 05-08-2014, 12:19 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Sounds like a pretty good set-up so far! I think you'll find this a good site to help you fill in the blanks so to speak.
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Old 05-08-2014, 01:10 AM
CosmoMcKinley CosmoMcKinley is offline
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It does seem that you're approaching this from the proper perspective and have your head in a good place.

That said, the four month mark might be a tad soon to consolidate households. Hey, it might work and can for some people, but that tends to be the exception as opposed to the rule. Have things like the sleeping and financial arrangements been discussed at all?

Nobody knows your situation better than the three of you, but I'd suggest a trial period before an agreement of permanent cohabitation. There's a big difference between "spending a lot of time with someone" and actually sharing living quarters, as I'm sure that you know.

Want a short cut? Take a mini-vacation together. If you can spend 5+ hours in a car with someone without wanting to strangle them (or in your case Karate chopping them) then they may be a good fit for cohabitation.
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Old 05-08-2014, 01:32 AM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Agree with the "take a vacation together" idea first... there are folks I thought I'd be extremely compatible with in college, who, when I roomed with them, I wanted to kill them (and vice versa, I'm sure). My sister-from-another-mother, who's been my best friend since sixth grade and I went to DC for a week, and I needed a day apart. There are few people I enjoy traveling with... I would like to extrapolate that to "we'd room well together" but I'm skeptical.
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Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

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  #7  
Old 05-08-2014, 02:53 AM
DWicked DWicked is offline
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Default Perspective

I do appreciate Cosmo and You for your insight. We are spending four days at a campground with a larger group starting Friday. At this point my GF and I just happen to be able to afford a place large enough to accommodate the other arm. My GF and I will occupy a master suite together and her GF will have a large room to herself in the basement. As I mentioned in another post, one of the driving factors in co-habitation is the fact that both ladies want to fight amateur grappling and MMA bouts. My GF and I met when she walked into my school. We met her GF through a mutual friend and the attraction between my GF and this young lady was immediate and obvious. The new house has room to train without us having to go to the school all the time. I travel frequently and they spend the time I am away together anyway. Also, the other arm in this Vee has a place to go back to if for some reason this becomes untenable. As she is a lesbian, there is no complication between the two of us. She and I enjoy each other's company, she respects me as a coach and also values my relationship with my GF. These young ladies are better adjusted than I was at their ages.
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Old 05-08-2014, 06:00 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Seems to me like you guys's ducks are in a row ... I say carry on.
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Old 05-08-2014, 09:26 PM
CosmoMcKinley CosmoMcKinley is offline
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Sounds like you guys indeed have your ducks in the proverbial row. Very nice to see. Good luck with your relationship, you seem to be starting from a very good place. Move forward with the same common-sense approach and the three of you should do just fine.

Hell, you came here for advice but maybe you should be giving it too!
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  #10  
Old 05-08-2014, 11:58 PM
CherryBlossomGirl CherryBlossomGirl is offline
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Default Carts and Horses.

Your attitude is so accepting and inclusive; nice work on that. I can see how this seems like a logical progression. How long did you and your GF wait to move in together? Everyone has different time frames that are comfortable for them, and I say if there is the room and the desire, why not? Personally I would want to get through a year before living together, but that's some hard won wisdom on my part. Lots of people move in together much earlier and never look back.

Glad you're on the boards, and hope to see more posts by you! Maybe start a blog! It's a great place to share your story and have others learn from your successes!
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