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Old 12-06-2013, 03:48 PM
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Hades36 Hades36 is offline
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Default The Ideal Life (or Dreams Compromised)

I hope everyone had a great holiday, however you choose to celebrate.

Nearing 40 and really thinking about my life, the decisions I've made, and where those paths have led me. All in all, I have a great life with very little to complain about. But, of course, there are dreams I've compromised, choices I made for other people instead of my own happiness, and those come back to haunt me at times.

So, wanting to ask you fine folk...

What would be your ideal life? What would it look like? Feel like? And what dreams have you compromised for others, and why exactly?

Hoping for some great answers!

For me, my ideal life would be living on a poly commune with a small tribe of lovers and friends who were all artsy, deeply spiritual, and committed to the same vision. I would be a successful writer and roleplaying game designer, and the commune would have dozens of cats (lol) roaming around.
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Old 12-06-2013, 06:01 PM
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I have a pretty damn good life.
I have 2 husbands who love me dearly. I have 2 nice homes. Friends and hobbies I enjoy. My kids are happy and healthy.

I enjoy what I do at both jobs.
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Old 12-06-2013, 06:29 PM
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Similar to you Hades, less artsy perhaps, I like to mix things up a bit
Just my kids and their kids all being raised together and no cats....I don't like cats (or dogs or pets in general actually)

Just people, loving, committed and living life.
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Old 12-06-2013, 08:11 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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I have to admit, I have a good life. I dream, but am pragmatic. I do have goals however, so everything I mention are benchmarks I am working actively to achieve.

I would likely take my life and adjust, stop having a career, and be an successful entrepreneur in my current field. Move away from being tied down and into a true leadership role. Hmm would be nice to do that with the other two geeks in my family. We compliment each others technical skills quite well, covering a large spectrum of our field.

Move into a bigger house, work from home more, make more money.. I am not a fan of slowing down, so have no interest in less work, I would just end up finding way to fill my time anyways.

I want my future child and my current co-children to grow up happy, secure and healthy. My wife to remain to and everyone around me to be so. haha.. not much I can do to control that though.
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Old 12-07-2013, 02:25 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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My "dream" life looks suspiciously like my "real" life except for more time and more money... and is achievable.

Step one: sell the old house (in progress...although slower than I would like)
Step two: save enough to retire early (also in progress...but hampered by step one)
Step three: have enough time to pursue the many hobbies I have collected over my lifetime
Step four: (closely related to step 3) have the resources to "experiment" (the sustainable poly living "compound" being one such path, the successful "post-apocalyptic sci-fi writer" would be another)

Step ZERO: enjoy the journey (I've got this part down ).

Admittedly, my "dream" life has changed over time...at one point it involved having children, for instance (until that was not an option).

I realize that I am lucky in having so few regrets in my life (that guy I slept with, that guy I didn't sleep with, studying for an exam rather than going to that Grateful Dead show before Jerry Garcia died...)

Luckily (or selfishly) my life has been full of people who supported me and my (rather realistic) goals...so I have never really been in a position where I have had to compromise my dreams for another person...only for reality.

Jane("Also-Nearing-40")Q
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MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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Old 12-07-2013, 12:58 PM
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Thanks for all the responses. Its really cool reading about your lives, what you want, how thankful you are for what you have, etc.

Jane, my ideal life would also have me being a sci-fi/fantasy writer and role-playing game designer.

And Dagferi, it gave me warm tingles to read that you have two husbands who love you dearly. That's awesome, and I love hearing successful poly stories. So much of what I read or see about poly is negative or filled with drama, so its nice to come to this forum, lurk, and read happy things.

And thanks Ariakas (btw, is that the name of the God of Chaos in Moorcock's Elric books?) and Natja (no cats?! ) for your answers.
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Old 12-07-2013, 06:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hades36 View Post
Natja (no cats?! ) for your answers.
Kittens are kind of cute but I wouldn't want a house full of cats no. I have allergies. I know, unthinkable for a poly person, I am a total weirdo............
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Old 12-07-2013, 08:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hades36 View Post
I hope everyone had a great holiday, however you choose to celebrate.

Nearing 40 and really thinking about my life, the decisions I've made, and where those paths have led me. All in all, I have a great life with very little to complain about. But, of course, there are dreams I've compromised, choices I made for other people instead of my own happiness, and those come back to haunt me at times.

So, wanting to ask you fine folk...

What would be your ideal life? What would it look like? Feel like? And what dreams have you compromised for others, and why exactly?

Hoping for some great answers!

For me, my ideal life would be living on a poly commune with a small tribe of lovers and friends who were all artsy, deeply spiritual, and committed to the same vision. I would be a successful writer and roleplaying game designer, and the commune would have dozens of cats (lol) roaming around.
I do want things that would be nice to do and be, but really what I want in the deepest part of me is to be happy when I am and to appreciate every thing: happyness, sadness, pleasure, pain, life, death, wonder, horror, awesome things, repulsive things, etc.; and I do.~

I am happy in this moment, I appreciate every thing, and I am content.~

Love,

ColorsWolf
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Old 12-08-2013, 02:33 PM
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The biggest dream I ever had, and regret not pursuing, was to become an artist. Meaning fine art, like painting and drawing. People always recognize my creativity, and I've done small projects here and there, but never studied fine art nor made a living at it. Now I strive to make films, but the childhood dreams still haunt me.

As for my poly dreams, basically I want to continue living alone (but able to afford a housekeeper, LOL), and have four lover-friends. Two of them would be local or fairly local, and I would see each of them one to three times a week (keeping things spontaneous but knowing I could count on them). Another of the four might live a little farther away but still reachable by train or car, and we'd have a nice weekend once every month or two. And then there would be one long-distance guy who I'd meet for a fabulous getaway once or twice a year.

I think it would be nice to have an easygoing, respectful friendship with a metamour somewhere in that mix, too.
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Last edited by nycindie; 12-08-2013 at 02:38 PM.
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Old 12-09-2013, 02:50 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hades36 View Post
And thanks Ariakas (btw, is that the name of the God of Chaos in Moorcock's Elric books?) and Natja (no cats?! ) for your answers.
Actually from the dragonlance series, badass evil knight. I got the name the same way I got all my early handles. Pick up nearest book, throw into the air, and find a word on the page it lands on that appeals to me.

Have to admin no cats for me too. I had one for years, but she was more of a dog, which I preferred. Dog personality suits me much better
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