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Old 03-29-2012, 09:24 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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If they don't like it then maybe they shouldn't read here. I find it very helpful to write my blog and I know people who know me read it. Sometimes I keep a lid of what my stronger emotions are, but I don't hold back. Its very therapeutic.

I hope your lesson learned wasn't that you should shut up and not seek the support you need. Otherwise I might find them controlling. Really I think they need to understand that EVERYONE needs a place to talk. If this was it for you because you had no where else then I would hope they would find it in their heart to be happy about that. I haven't heard to much that is supportive from their end really. It all sounds like negative reinforcement in all you do. Where is theor compassion? I hope its just we haven't heard about that part.
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  #72  
Old 03-29-2012, 09:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LusciousLemon View Post
I've been sort of following this and this actually really upsets/concerns me. It seems that you are now being guilted for having your feelings and reactions. They are the feelings you had, it's not necessarily something you can control. You are trying to find a way to work through them, not only for your benefit but for the benefit of all. You've already mentioned multiple times that all you want is the best for everyone involved, so the fact that they have issues with your feelings seems to be a concern in and of itself. How is it okay for them to say you shouldn't have the feelings that you have? You should feel comfortable enough to express all of your feelings to your partner (if not to his wife) without having to feel judged for those feelings. If you cannot then there are other issues.
This!
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  #73  
Old 03-30-2012, 12:37 AM
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You know, nobody likes to hear negative things about themselves and a personal situation. I do feel deep remorse for hurting both my bf and his S/O. As you said, and I've said plenty, I just wanted things to work for all of us. And I still believe that it can.

As my bf said, we will all be stronger as a result of this. The great news is that the lines of communication are now fully open between he and I. Things that were previously taboo are no longer and he encourages me to open up to him for the answers I seek rather than let them rattle around in my head and come to conclusions (right or wrong). I feel safe in sharing all of my thoughts with him, no more filter.

I just want to move on and live, laugh and love with him.
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  #74  
Old 03-30-2012, 05:30 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Originally Posted by newtoday View Post
You know, nobody likes to hear negative things about themselves and a personal situation. I do feel deep remorse for hurting both my bf and his S/O. As you said, and I've said plenty, I just wanted things to work for all of us. And I still believe that it can.

As my bf said, we will all be stronger as a result of this. The great news is that the lines of communication are now fully open between he and I. Things that were previously taboo are no longer and he encourages me to open up to him for the answers I seek rather than let them rattle around in my head and come to conclusions (right or wrong). I feel safe in sharing all of my thoughts with him, no more filter.

I just want to move on and live, laugh and love with him.
yay, open communication. Then why feel remorseful? He himself said that you will be stronger as a result. No fail going on here then... why not give up on the remorse and feel good about being so open and honest. It suits the whole poly thing anyway ya know?
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