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  #11  
Old 12-05-2009, 06:52 PM
polyhearted polyhearted is offline
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Default Thanks so much!!!

I so much enjoyed reading your story, you write so well. Your "rules" are excellent, if only rules worked completely. In my "failed attempts" at poly, D/s each time I came away feeling saddened by how little people actually know about themselves or possibly how so many feel the need to misrepresent who they are in order to have a stab at love, which of course is terminally flawed logic. Again, thanks for sharing, don't give up looking, these are all learning experiences and one day it will all come together for you!
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  #12  
Old 12-10-2009, 06:23 AM
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Legion Legion is offline
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I wouldn't say disturbed and dysfunctional from your blog... I have to admit I did think "naive" in regards to the FL couple... but I think you might have even said that yourself?

I think what's important is that you took your experiences and got the lessons from them.

And I'm not one to talk of naiveté, I was taken in by conartists today. Pretty much a textbook case.

I just hope I learned my $218 lesson.
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  #13  
Old 12-11-2009, 08:16 PM
juliepatchoulie juliepatchoulie is offline
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Default whatever

Erosa, I like your rules, too....thanks for a guideline!!
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  #14  
Old 12-12-2009, 01:07 AM
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lipsnlace lipsnlace is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Erosa View Post
I was a bit hurt today to be told that I was disturbed and disfunctional (presumably because of this blog's contents? ) That's why I'm adding this note.
You don't seem disturbed or disfunctional to me after reading this blog. I think you are brave to not be totally disillusioned by love after your experiences, and it's admirable that you've been able to come out of those situations a stronger person with a clear view of what's important to you for your future. Stay true to that and it'll get you far.

Thank you for sharing yourself with us
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  #15  
Old 12-29-2009, 03:35 PM
juliepatchoulie juliepatchoulie is offline
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Default reply to erosa

omg you are soooo right about verifying and identifying motivation in individuals...that was totally gutsy sharing...having moved on myself from many an erroneous relationship I concur wholeheartedly...later at the seder,joules
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  #16  
Old 12-29-2009, 03:37 PM
juliepatchoulie juliepatchoulie is offline
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Default polyhearted's name

I like your name, too!
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  #17  
Old 12-29-2009, 05:00 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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First, I think that it is wonderful that you felt you could come here and share your story. If just one person can learn something from it so they don't have to go through that sort of learning experience, then it's worthwhile.

I also think that it's great that you are are learning from your experiences - I have known too many people who never learn, they just blame the others and carry on making the same mistakes. Knowing what you want and what you don't want (the latter often being more important) is a very key thing, I believe.

Too often "secondaries" (and I use the term to mean someone who doesn't live together with a couple) get treated as "secondary" in the relationship, being used or treated like their feelings just plain don't matter. In my opinion that is just plain wrong and it does you a disservice.

Sometimes I hope that the "primary" couple are doing it out of ignorance, and that they, too, have learned by the experience, and won't make the same mistakes again, but I fear that some are doing it for altogether different motives than adding another loving relationship into their lives.

It's a pity that learning lessons like this has to be so painful sometimes.
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  #18  
Old 12-30-2009, 04:16 PM
juliepatchoulie juliepatchoulie is offline
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Default On Being Dysfunctional

OMG...I am a woman with mucho life experience and if I have learned one thing through the years is that most people have had one or many dysfunctional moments whether they want to admit it or not. However, simply from your posts I cannot conceive how someone would diagnose you as dysfunctional!!! Someone with the gift of youth should not have to justify their choices, because that is your life that only YOU can live...so my advice, no apologies in any way, shape, or form.....it's like this: At 22, women can pretty much do no wrong (unless of course they are ax-murderers) because your youth(which is totally YOURS) excuses you from the little faux pas of life.
Pretty much you can do no wrong! When I was 22, I lived my life the way I wanted-I was told one time in rehab I was a 'serial polygamist, often beginning one relationship while ending another'-I shit you not- thats wording they used on my treatment plan.....so, dysfunction is in the eye of the beholder sometimes.....if I could impart anything to you from my years of experience I would say to you(and you are young enough to be my daughter) Erosa, go out and have all the fun you can, wear anything you want because on a 22 year old body you really can do no wrong experimenting fashion-wise, same with hair and make-up, and as far as relationships go just make sure that for all the time and energy you putinto something you need to get your needs met or it's freaking wake-up time! In other words, for all the bullshit you should get something if not everything out of it. And on that feelings of a secondary.....what I have observed is that a secondary has it rough in the relationship....and that yes the primary couple is like fucking clueless about it....more on that later and other stuff I have observed especially regarding those Human Awareness workshops and the parties....I mean, 'hello!!!' what the fuck does everybody really want?!
Can anyone be totally balls out honest about what they really want. There is a reason people pay big money for procedures that make them look young...so believe me when I tell you that your youth gives you just the right advantage for survival in this world. You need Rhino skin just like Tom Petty says....l8tr
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