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Old 10-02-2011, 07:02 AM
bassman bassman is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Surrey UK
Posts: 475

Rainla, you GO, girl!

Have those dreams, dream them, see yourself in them. Yes, probably your dreams and desires will change, probably you wont get exactly what you want, but you might get close to it.

And on the way to getting (or even missing) your ultimate dream, you will achieve a lot of it.

Good on you for not allowing society pressure you into the conventional route of how to run your life!

You are NOT crazy!!
Male M, struggling noob.
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Old 10-02-2011, 07:29 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,217

Originally Posted by Rainla View Post
Umm excuse me? Did you have anything useful to input to my post? Or were you just trying to express how you feel that you, with your valuable age experience, feel that you just had to say you love when 20 year olds say blah blah blah?

Yeah, I didn't think so. As for the fact that I said all my life? Indeed, that's all of my life? I am no older than 20 sooo, I can't see how that even needs a laugh? It is actually all of MY life.

And, when I was young, as in a child, I am now an adult, legally. I am not old, by any means, which I never stated, only that when I was young. You seem to have missed something here, which I will give you some benefit of the doubt and not call you some old school, 'I know everything because I have gone through some plus years', rude, unintelligent adult, BUT I'll only give you that doubt, since I don't personally know you.

Don't get all offended, but if you've actually looked into studies, the newer generations have actually been found to test with much higher intelligence, so I can say that I have, SINCE I WAS YOUNGER, been interested in the idea of a polyamorouos family. It doesn't matter that you think it's funny, because you had NOTHING to add to my post, only to laugh, or in other words to degrade, which I find it funny when older adults say crap like that.

Ok, you're excused.

Overreact much?
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Old 10-02-2011, 11:29 PM
Verlander Verlander is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1

That was really inspiring to read

I've always felt similar... and it's difficult to even find people to talk about it to.

No, I don't think you are crazy, I think you have taken the initiative to work out what you want, and not what societal normality want for you.
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:14 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I think this thread can appropriately be a part of the "Imagine your ideal relationship" thread.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:22 AM
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sagency sagency is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: U.S. Pacific Northwest
Posts: 133

Rainla, are you crazy? Yes. Or maybe. Or no.

Sorry, not enough data. You might be. What's your point? Some folks dig the crazy chicks.

Is your dream crazy? I had a dream once about waiting for the school bus wearing a bathrobe sitting in a reclining lawn chair while all the other kids in the neighborhood shot each other with water pistols. Was that crazy?

Your feelings and desires aren't crazy. You recognize that by society's standards they aren't practical, or you probably wouldn't have asked the question. You also have clued into the idea that society's standards need not always apply, or you wouldn't be here. Your exuberance does give the old-n-crusties a chance to mutter at you, so that was fun though.

That said, there are some very practical concerns with poly life. People love to judge others is one. Amusingly enough, fundamentalists are very keen on forgetting the "judge not others" directive. This can have real and painful consequences, especially with children involved.

More relevant to where you are now, understand that poly relationships are geometrically complicated. Vees are therefore easiest. Triads are harder. Quads harder still, and so on. Five people of mixed genders living together and sharing children is a lofty goal. Though you may have the dream in mind, start with the simple and build. Where you get to may be your dream, or you might find some other happy place. I for one am still building on my dream. I actually had a talk just last week with my mono where I spelled out exactly what I wanted using the term "dream." She's supportive and wanting to help that dream happen, but it took me a long time to find someone with her qualities so it didn't have to be just my dream.

I believe that as you get more years of experience you'll find more people who can share your dream. Right now I suspect that many of your peers have a lot of internalized mono-programming. It seems that as people mature, they shed some of that programming and some if the associated hang-ups. Your dream is a long-term project, but it gets easier over time.

Best of luck.
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Old 10-07-2011, 08:37 AM
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Rainla Rainla is offline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 6

I am new to polyamory though...? These were just my whole thoughts, upon what I like, why I like, etc etc.
The question that sometimes drives me hazy, is it me, or the others who are crazy - Albert Einstein
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