People tend to pull away from anybody who appears "desperate" for a partner. I like to know that anybody I'm considering dating is generally happy with life. If they're miserable without me then they'll be just as miserable with me, once the NRE wears off.
Meanwhile, you do already have one relationship, right? Are you looking after that relationship? Is the extreme anger and frustration you feel getting in the way of emotional intimacy with your wife? Are you making a point to focus on the love between the two of you, even while opening the relationship up?