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  #11  
Old 09-20-2011, 02:37 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
I don't have a problem with the word compersion, but we do already have a very similar word in our vocabulary -- empathy.
Empathy /= compersion. They're quite different.
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  #12  
Old 09-20-2011, 03:06 PM
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River River is offline
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Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
Empathy /= compersion. They're quite different.
Some wise philosophers argue that compassion is rooted in empathy. Evan Thompson goes as far as to say that all of human consciousness roots into empathy.

I see compersion as rooting in compassion which roots in empathy. It is because of our empathy for our loved one that we experience happiness in their happiness, pleasure in their pleasure, compersion in their love of another.

Empathy isn't always about the other's pain or trouble. Sometimes we empathise with their joy. Their happiness inspires our own. (I decided not to say " ... makes us happy".
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  #13  
Old 09-20-2011, 04:38 PM
Hardison Hardison is offline
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Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
Those two are just dumb as fuck. Whomever came up with those needs swatted with a rolled up newspaper.
I'm actually not very fond of any of them, I can only imagine one of Nick Frost's (Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead) characters using frubbly.
I kind of want there to be something that sounds like grown-ups would use the word, but sounds more like a word and less like a typo than compersion.

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I'd have to say that anybody who thinks the Church of All Worlds is a cult has no clue what a cult is--thinking something is a cult simply because one has no clue what it is smacks of gross bigotry.
So many people think of any non-mainstream belief as a cult, what I was trying to say is I know nothing of Kerista, but I have heard Oberon call it a cult in an old poly weekly interview, and I figure he'd not throw that word around carelessly.
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  #14  
Old 09-20-2011, 06:10 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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I dislike (slightly) compersion as a catch-phrase turned into a 'must-do'.

I kinda always wondered why you 'need' compersion, if you have respect for your partner in the first place ?
I can respect my partners' need to be out and enjoying himself away from me, without throwing them a good-bye party everytime he goes.

I also have those moments where I am happy for him and his. I liken it much to that feeling when you hear anyone has good news. Getting married, having a baby, etc.

Understanding the need for the descriptor 'compersion' is quite fine by me. It means a very specific type of happiness. I get it. That does not bug me.

However the fact it is sometimes turned into some 'must-do' that everyone should strive for, reeks of that other cult-like persuasion ( meaning devotion in extremes, to a 'ideal' poly).... that can come from a small percentage of people that like to try and overrule all.
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  #15  
Old 09-20-2011, 08:18 PM
MichelleZed MichelleZed is offline
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Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
However the fact it is sometimes turned into some 'must-do' that everyone should strive for, reeks of that other cult-like persuasion ( meaning devotion in extremes, to a 'ideal' poly).... that can come from a small percentage of people that like to try and overrule all.
Agreed! I only heard of the term a week ago or so on this very board, and it was from a woman who was insisting that her husband wasn't allowed to watch porn because she didn't feel any compersion from it. WTF?! So... okay, the concept has a time and a place, people.

Now that the term has been defined for me better on this thread, I realize that I have felt compersion. I've thought, about my husband's conquest: "Good for you, honey! I knew you could do it! Go team!"

A pretty good feeling.
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  #16  
Old 09-20-2011, 08:44 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Originally Posted by MichelleZed View Post
Now that the term has been defined for me better on this thread, I realize that I have felt compersion. I've thought, about my husband's conquest: "Good for you, honey! I knew you could do it! Go team!"
And now I'm thinking about cheerleaders. Which isn't a bad thing!
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  #17  
Old 09-22-2011, 04:07 AM
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lemniscate lemniscate is offline
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I used to not like the word compersion because it didn't sound like a real word; but I do use it often now because when talking with others, especially at discussion groups and such, it is useful for describing the situation it defines without going on and on and on. (And I'm a blabber, so I have to watch that anyway)

I could say, "When my boyfriend and his wife share a loving glance and a hug, it makes me feel nice inside to know that they love each other, and that their relationship is strong, and I also have a knowing feeling and a connection because I know what it feels like to get a loving glance from either of them, and it's energy we share,"

Or I could say, "Oh yes, I feel complete compersion for my boyfriend and his wife."

The first option has those at my discussion group falling asleep, checking their text messages or picking their nose because they've lost track, and the second one has them nodding in understanding. (Hypothetically).

So yes, I do use the word in a formal sense, but I don't use it when conversing with my partners. I have NEVER used the word frubbles or frubbly. It reminds me of muppets and bunny cartoons, and my relationships are not made of those things.
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  #18  
Old 09-22-2011, 06:23 AM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Don't like it...sound like some kind of lab term...cross between compression and immersion....or something to do with AC repair....you need a word that can carry the energy....
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  #19  
Old 09-22-2011, 03:16 PM
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SoCalExile SoCalExile is offline
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I am used to the word now and it used to bug me, but I still think it sounds too close to "compulsion".
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