List on how to communicate

[nycindie]

The person one communicates to has a responsibility, too -- to listen. No matter how direct one is, or how much you finesse your communication style, it's all for naught when the listener is preoccupied and lost in their own thoughts, judgments, worries, insecurities, whatever. They just won't hear you. So, best thing to do is make sure one connects with the person we're communicating with and make sure they hear us. It's perfectly fine to check in every now and then and ask, "Am I clear?" or "Do you understand what I'm saying?" And if you're the one lost in a daydream, own up. Perfectly fine to acknowledge that you got distracted and ask someone to repeat something.

[MorningTwilight]

Originally Posted by NeonKaos

Read some Alfred Korzybski / General Semantics. Start with Wiki and work your way from there. Then come see me and we'll have a conversation that makes sense.

Korzybski is a very painful read. Hayakawa's Language in Thought and Action is much easier going. :-)

MT

[NeonKaos]

Originally Posted by MorningTwilight

Korzybski is a very painful read. Hayakawa's Language in Thought and Action is much easier going. :-)

MT

Yeah, I own a copy of "Science and Sanity" but I just use it for reference. There are other books that EXPLAIN Korzybski's concepts much better. ONe of them is Quantum Psychology by Robert Anton Wilson. Another is How Real Is Real by Paul Watzsalwick (HRIR doesn't only talk about GS/E-prime but many of the concepts are built on the same fundamental principles, such as "the map is not the territory" and "the perception of reality is not the same as reality" - i paraphrase). AS a matter of fact, I believe that people should not even try to understand what the other one is saying until they have read HRIR, but I realize that it is irksome to go around saying "You really should read these books so you can be enlightened like I am. I used to have my head up me ass like you, before I read these books and became aware".

But it's true. I'd rather just make fun of other people's ignorance than insult them by trying to help them overcome it. Not very new-agey of me, but i do make people laugh occasionally.

[Minxxa]

Originally Posted by NeonKaos

I believe that people should not even try to understand what the other one is saying until they have read HRIR, but I realize that it is irksome to go around saying "You really should read these books so you can be enlightened like I am. I used to have my head up me ass like you, before I read these books and became aware".

But it's true. I'd rather just make fun of other people's ignorance than insult them by trying to help them overcome it. Not very new-agey of me, but i do make people laugh occasionally.

You made me laugh at this.

And then I wrote down the books for my reading list. I'll try not to feel insulted.

[NeonKaos]

Originally Posted by Minxxa

You made me laugh at this.

And then I wrote down the books for my reading list. I'll try not to feel insulted.

Then there's the other side of the story - sometimes I loan my books to people and never get them back.

[SourGirl]

Originally Posted by NeonKaos

Then there's the other side of the story - sometimes I loan my books to people and never get them back.

Ditto.

With the exception, I lend them out and never have them returned. Learn my lesson yet ? Hell no !