Survey Question (r.e., bisexuality & biamory)

[River]

These questions are mainly for the hetero- folks in the forum.

(You may also chime in if you are gay or bi, if you like, but I'm mainly interested in what the hetero- folks have to say on this matter.)

Would you be as likely to "date" a bisexual (or biamorous) person of the opposite sex as a hetero- person of the opposite sex?

Why? Why not?

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[biamory is a term coined to distinguish bisexuals who aren't interested in same-sex "-amory" (loving relationships) from those who are. Many bisexuals are not actually biamorous. Some are only interested in same sex encounters if they involve only recreational ("casual") sex.

[Ariakas]

Yes. Actually...I am more inclined to date bi-sexuals. I find them more open in general (yes, and for the obvious threesome factor ). I haven't been with a straight girl (barring our ex who was bi-curious when we met) in...13 years.

[Edward]

Not that I'm likely to get the opportunity, but if someone was interested in me, and I liked them, their being bi or not wouldn't enter my thinking. Other than how this orientation affected their personality, and how well they got along with A and A2.

[AutumnalTone]

I suppose so. I married a bi woman. I'm currently flirting with a bi woman (who is also a bit genderqueer).

[jkelly]

Originally Posted by River

These questions are mainly for the hetero- folks in the forum.

Would you be as likely to "date" a bisexual (or biamorous) person of the opposite sex as a hetero- person of the opposite sex?

Why? Why not?

I idenitfy as straight. According to a 2002 CDC survey, 2.8% of women identify as bi-. After a rough count off the top of my head, something like a third of the women I've been involved with have identified as either bi- or lesbian. It seems pretty clear statistically that I am vastly more likely to date someone who is bi-.

As for why, I couldn't say with any confidence. I suspect that there are two things going on. One is that I tend to date people who are, well, awesome people. Someone who goes through the process of coming out in the society I've lived in has already done an enormous amount of personal growth and has taken a a courageous stand against homophobia. That level of self-knowledge and courage is very attractive! The other thing is that people who have already had to leave the mainstream by being bi- are more likely to wind up exploring other non-mainstream social circles, such as by also being poly-, Pagan, into kink, a Burner, etc. so I'm more likely to meet them.

[vandalin]

I'll be the first hetero-female to chime in one this one.

I'm honestly not sure. To the best of my knowledge, I do not know any bi- men in RL. I may still suffer from a little bit of stereotyping, but if I was to form a relationship with a bi-man then I think that these would disappear rather quickly.

I don't think I would have a problem if he was open and honest about it and didn't hide it.

As for statistically, well, like I mentioned I don't actually know any bi-men off the top of my head so unless my friends circle grows in that direction, I'd be more likely to date hetero.

A last minute add on... If I were to date a bi-man, then he would have to be respectful of the fact that my hubby is completely hetero (not to the point of phobic though).

[rpcrazy]

he would have to be respectful of the fact that my hubby is completely hetero

uh...what?

[jkelly]

Originally Posted by rpcrazy

uh...what?

Rpcrazy, don't you know that all bi- people are attracted to every single person that they meet and that they have no innate sense of when making a pass is inappropriate? I thought everyone knew that.

[River]

I pretty much run around the streets all day, pinching random male and female butts and winking.

[rpcrazy]

I didn't mean to poke fun. I think it's a bit crass to assume things like that, but I was actually just confused by the statement. I read the whole thread and gained more understanding of the context she was writing in. In any case, myths clear up easy once you experience whatever "it" is in real life. I know this well being a whatever-sexual, intelligent black man.