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  #21  
Old 09-04-2011, 02:04 PM
MichelleZed MichelleZed is offline
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Okay--had a long talk to Sven over g-chat yesterday... about Star Wars. We've had the argument before: he feels like being a Jedi is the perfect way to live, and I feel like Jedis unhealthily repress normal emotions (fear of loss leads to the dark side? really?). So we argued about that for awhile and then sort of shifted somehow into a sexy discussion. I think we are back on.

Progress also with the husband. I told him I was on this forum and have even begun discussing some of the topic brought up on other threads with him (so thanks for posting, everyone!).

Update on the third man in my life: he is kicking up a storm in there! He also likes listening to music, and kicks hardest during the Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto.
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  #22  
Old 09-04-2011, 03:35 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MichelleZed View Post
I know Annabel is continuing her relationship with girlfriend Gia while Gia has a young baby. But their dynamic has changed a lot and they've had to put some things on the back burner (right, Annabel?). It's just part of what we do for those wonderful little ones!
Yep. It's our intention that physical intimacy be merely "on hold" for us, but there's no way for us to know how long that'll be or if, in fact, it'll work out that way. That said, our emotional dynamic has grown, if differently perhaps than it might have if she wasn't going through this stage in her life right now. And as for the physical part, I hardly need tell you that pregnancy and birth are different for every woman. For instance, Gia is kind of creeped out by her new role as a milk dispensary (though she's very commited to breastfeeding), while you seem more excited about it.

The thing that's allowed me to stay in her life is an active interest in what's she's been going through and a desire to help out and take part. If I weren't as willing to change diapers and soothe her child with her as I am to talk with her and kiss her, we might not need to break up but I absolutely can't see how I could remain the large figure in her life that I have. When and where could our relationship happen if not in the context of caring for her child, when her whole life right now involves caring for her child?

Again, though, it'll be different for every person. Gia and Eric are doing attachment parenting, which puts a lot of emphasis on being close to your child as much as possible. I fully expect us to get back to going out on dates and that sort of thing, but it will probably take longer and happen less often than it might for someone with a different parenting style.
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Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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  #23  
Old 09-04-2011, 03:47 PM
MichelleZed MichelleZed is offline
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Yeah, on the other hand, it must be nice for her to have your visits and help, if only because being a new mom can be lonely and it is so nice to have a friend who's willing to stick around and hang out.

Obviously, Sven isn't going to be as involved as you are, but that is not an expectation or even a hope of mine. My main ambition is that he won't drop me as a friend. I might even email him during that post-partum period and say: "Hey, do you want to come over for coffee? I need adult time."
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