Advice for a new/potential secondary

[AnnabelMore]

Originally Posted by nycindie

Actually, in the United States, the practice of consensual non-monogamy began to really take hold in the military (1940s), specifically among fighter pilots and their wives. Pilots and their families were very close and because of the higher chance of fatality among pilots during wartime, they had agreements among each other to look after the others' wives. And since pilots tended not to go out drinking when they were home, "wife swapping" was practiced and surely evolved into polyamory (love) due to the deep bonds among Air Force families.

HOT. Errr... just sayin'.

[mrladyslipper]

Originally Posted by ladyslipper

faraway, the book Sex at Dawn really helped me to frame the concept of poly in a different way and allowed me to wrap my brain around it more fully. I highly reccomend.

http://www.sexatdawn.com/

I agree with ladyslipper.

The both of us read this book together which really helped us better understand our partnership and ourself's (individually). Before reading this book we always had thoughts of being unnatural about our desire to open up our family to others.

[JenAgain]

Thanks all.. after some discussion, he doesn't feel that he could be a secondary. So we are just going to enjoy what we do have together in a low key way.. i.e., not out in the open with our circles of friends. He does have an emotional attachment, but he doesn't want to really attempt to develop it, and I'm okay with that. I appreciate his honesty, as well as the time I get to spend with him, we always have a great time.

Also, for the record, I use the word deployed loosely! Hubby is hanging out on a tropical island far away from any gunfire. Weekends and holidays off even. :P Lucky.

[faraway7]

Originally Posted by nycindie

Actually, in the United States, the practice of consensual non-monogamy began to really take hold in the military (1940s), specifically among fighter pilots and their wives. Pilots and their families were very close and because of the higher chance of fatality among pilots during wartime, they had agreements among each other to look after the others' wives. And since pilots tended not to go out drinking when they were home, "wife swapping" was practiced and surely evolved into polyamory (love) due to the deep bonds among Air Force families.

Interesting... Thank you.

[faraway7]

Originally Posted by mrladyslipper

I agree with ladyslipper.

The both of us read this book together which really helped us better understand our partnership and ourself's (individually). Before reading this book we always had thoughts of being unnatural about our desire to open up our family to others.

Unnatural is probably the word my heart would use. My head however is saying what a great idea this is..

I was with my late Hubby from the age of 15 till i was 32. He is all ive known I loved being his ALL and him being my ALL. over the last 11 ishy years, Ive never wanted anyone especially when the children were young. my youngest is just turning 17 the last couple of years ive had less and less to do for the kids. I miss doing things for loved ones. washing, cleaning, cooking etc. plus im beginning to feel lonely. Im still not sure if id want someone permently here 100% of the time. but i want the devotion that you give and receive in a relationship. the thought of being able to "borrow" someone for a few hours. to watch a film with or cook for sounded great but i think id get jealous eventually. guess i got a whole lot more reading to do.. and questions to ask so hope i wont be too annoying. thank you

[faraway7]

Originally Posted by ladyslipper

faraway, the book Sex at Dawn really helped me to frame the concept of poly in a different way and allowed me to wrap my brain around it more fully. I highly reccomend.

http://www.sexatdawn.com/

Thank you