Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #41  
Old 08-26-2011, 06:05 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,207
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I think perhaps it would have been more correct to refer to either a bisexual culture or a bisexual rights movement.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
"Bisexual culture" makes me cringe more intensely than "poly lifestyle.
My point was that the word "movement" implies a kind of activism and fighting or petitioning for a cause, and I thought it odd when BU mentioned a "bisexual movement" rather than "bisexual rights movement," since a movement usually stands for something (or fill in the blank: bisexual ___ movement." If there is a "bisexual movement" - what does that mean, that the movement wants everyone to be bisexual? I mean there are plenty of people who are bisexual and just living their lives, not part of any movement. So, in that sense, I posited the term "bisexual culture," in case that's what she was referring to, meaning a group of people who were following certain agreed-upon standards of acceptance in order to belong to that group. I didn't mean to say whether there was or wasn't any of those.

I cringe in the same way when people say things like the "poly movement" as if everyone who lives poly is now supposed to be marching together. I mean, in the 1960s, my great-grandmother had her boyfriend living with her and my great-grandfather. Was she part of a poly movement? Of course not. I just think that some people tend to want to jump on a bandwagon and they assume everyone else wants to, too.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 08-26-2011 at 06:09 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 08-27-2011, 11:53 AM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 4,216
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
My point was that the word "movement" implies a kind of activism and fighting or petitioning for a cause, and I thought it odd when BU mentioned a "bisexual movement" rather than "bisexual rights movement," since a movement usually stands for something (or fill in the blank: bisexual ___ movement." If there is a "bisexual movement" - what does that mean, that the movement wants everyone to be bisexual? I mean there are plenty of people who are bisexual and just living their lives, not part of any movement.
I just think there needs to be a lot more awareness amongst heteros and those that are definitely gay or lesbian that bi people do exist and we are not just "greedy" or "on the fence" or "need to pick a side." This kind of black/white thinking can be hateful, is dangerous, and causes confusion and fear, leading to abuse and ostracism.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 08-27-2011, 02:44 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,257
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
I did that for a year or two. I happened to be in love with a female so i say i " thought i was gay". But i didn"t realize i was trying to fit in, not with a gay community, but just into the world around me as a gay person, whatever the hell that was supposed to mean... I am sure this was as ridiculous then as it sounds now.
I did the exact same thing way back, it's made me that much more determined to be bi and out and proud now so that maybe other people won't think everyone has to be "one way or the other."
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 08-30-2011, 08:41 AM
BlackUnicorn's Avatar
BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 906
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
I did the exact same thing way back, it's made me that much more determined to be bi and out and proud now so that maybe other people won't think everyone has to be "one way or the other."
Ditto, and also, being involved with a man as I am, it would be a bit of a put down to say "You know, ACTUALLY I'm gay". In that book I referenced, several writers pointed out (this was back in the 90's) that there was a surprising frequency of reported sexual contact with men among women who self-IDed as lesbians, and not just prior to coming out. So at least back then, there was a large group of lesbians who slept with men and didn't want to talk about it, and the authors put this down to biphobia (argh, THAT word again ).

As to Indie's original snark, I think "bisexual inclusion/recognition movement" or "movement for bisexual inclusion/recognition" would be closest to the mark, understood as a subset of the gay rights movement.

Bi Pride!
__________________
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 08-30-2011, 07:14 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,257
Default

I recently put a bi pride flag (big pink stripe, thin purple stripe, big blue stripe) on my car. It was a big step for me since I usually don't use my vehicle to advertise personal identity stuff, but in this case I thought the issue of visibility was important enough to make it worth it... despite the fact that most people aren't yet familiar with the bi flag, maybe curiosity will make them track it down when they see it on my car, who knows.
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 08-30-2011, 08:17 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 999
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
I recently put a bi pride flag (big pink stripe, thin purple stripe, big blue stripe) on my car. It was a big step for me since I usually don't use my vehicle to advertise personal identity stuff, but in this case I thought the issue of visibility was important enough to make it worth it... despite the fact that most people aren't yet familiar with the bi flag, maybe curiosity will make them track it down when they see it on my car, who knows.
Are bi people even familiar with this?? :P
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 08-30-2011, 08:31 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,257
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
Are bi people even familiar with this?? :P
Well maybe a few more are now if they read this post. :P

Anyways, I got the sticker at my city's pride fest, and while certainly not everyone had it multiple vendors had multiple styles of the bi flag, so it can't be *entirely* underground. They wouldn't stock it if there was no demand whatsoever. So there!
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 08-31-2011, 01:16 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 999
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
So there!
Hehehe.
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 08-31-2011, 06:45 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 497
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
I just think there needs to be a lot more awareness amongst heteros and those that are definitely gay or lesbian that bi people do exist and we are not just "greedy" or "on the fence" or "need to pick a side." This kind of black/white thinking can be hateful, is dangerous, and causes confusion and fear, leading to abuse and ostracism.
My two experiences from the pride weekend this summer (which I had a FABULOUS time at by the way!).

Went dancing with a group of bisexual women I know (meet on a meetup group a few years ago). We met up and had drinks and dinner, then mosied down the street and hit one club (mostly guys) early on our way to the other club that had the hot chick go-go dancers. My girls were sitting down and I went up to the bar to get a drink and a guy comes up to me and says "Did you realize this was pride weekend?"



"Ummm, yeah, thanks I did."

Because I apparently looked too hetero...

Then we got to the dance club and had a ton of fun, but one of the girls with us was this cute little newer girl, never met up with anybody before, married, younger (I think early-mid twenties). She was dancing with a girl and the girl asked her about herself and she said she was bisexual and married. The girl turned around and walked away.



Poor thing. She was so excited to be there and to meet other women. And that kind of thing happens all of the time to most of the bi women I know.

Ah well...
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 08-31-2011, 11:43 PM
River's Avatar
River River is offline
Spaminator
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 2,099
Default

Yup, us bi folk often get unfriendly reactions from both gay/lesbian and straight folks.

"The girl turned around and walked away."

That's certainly no way to treat a human being!
__________________
bi, partnered, available

River's Blog
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
celibacy, definitions, descriptions, omniamorous, omniamory, polyflexible, terminology

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 09:29 AM.