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  #31  
Old 08-25-2011, 06:55 AM
trueRiver trueRiver is offline
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Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
...
But the omni label ... freaks me out. Because if we were to be true to the omni part, it would mean EVERYTHING. (Children ...
>Yuk<

-Not only nonvoluntary sex (ie with those who can't meaningfully consent, like children),

-but also involuntary sex (sex directly against the clearly expressed wishes of one or more of those involved), eg rape

-and even getting a thrill out of 'cheating' on an existing partner

these are all outside the poly boundaries, and rightly so, as we insist on full informed consent of all relevant parties. I agree with TP, if that is the range that the 'omni-' conjours up in some people's minds, I do not want it linked to poly. We already have trouble getting people to notice we mean what we say about being honest to our OSO(s).


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Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
...
Though the "polyfexible" offered above could prove useful in some fashion. I could end up supporting that.
In particular, polyflexible indicates a deliberate openness to being in a mono relationship, and is a useful word (imho) because we all know that it applies only to some polys.

I imagine myself using it to emphasise to a mono potential partner that this poly here does feel able to give a mono committment for the duration of the relationship. It quite neatly makes two things clear at once:

- I am able to offer you a mono relationship

- I am continuing to own my poly identity

In short, it seems to me to be a word that enlightens rather than mystifies.
I can't remember where I saw the word, but do remember feeling very strongly 'i like that word and will be using it of myself at some time'

@RedPepper: does polyflexible do everything you wanted to do with the word omniamory? If not, why?
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Last edited by trueRiver; 08-25-2011 at 10:48 AM. Reason: clarity
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  #32  
Old 08-25-2011, 08:10 AM
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There's a movement?
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Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
Ya, it's just like the "child-free movement".

child-free movement = some people are childfree

Don't know how active the bisexual movement atm is, but there was furious head-butting back in the day (mostly before my day, or during the days I still frequented Pampers) over the place of "B" in the GLBT. It used to just be gay lib, then girls got invited too, and then some of the girls thought it was wrong to let the bisexual crowd in. Lots of drama over whether bisexuals should be allowed to march under their own banner in Pride or some such.

There is a much better description in the book "Closer to Home: Bisexuality & Feminism", with some discussion on pansexuality, too (was just emerging as a term when that book was written).
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  #33  
Old 08-25-2011, 08:20 AM
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I seem to have lost my ability to multi-quote .

Quote:
Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post
In short, it seems to me to be a word that enlightens rather than mystifies.
I can't remember where I saw the word, but do remember feeling very strongly 'i like that word and will be using it of myself at some time
Me likes hetero/homoflexible for the same reason.
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  #34  
Old 08-25-2011, 10:34 AM
trueRiver trueRiver is offline
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Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Me likes hetero/homoflexible for the same reason.
and I suggest monoflexible for someone who prefers mono, identifies mono, but is nonethenless willing to consent to a partners additional relationships. We have many brave examples on the blogs forums of people (more often women but not always) who never wanted poly but are willing to allow it rather than lose their valued longstanding relationship.
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  #35  
Old 08-25-2011, 10:44 AM
trueRiver trueRiver is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
... there was furious head-butting back in the day ... over the place of "B" in the GLBT. It used to just be gay lib, then girls got invited too, and then some of the girls thought it was wrong to let the bisexual crowd in...
hi, I was around and adult during all that, and it was even more complicated than that, but that is a long post and needs its own thread
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Last edited by trueRiver; 08-25-2011 at 10:46 AM.
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  #36  
Old 08-26-2011, 04:59 AM
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Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post
@RedPepper: does polyflexible do everything you wanted to do with the word omniamory? If not, why?
hmmm, its more about the sex to me than about the love, but whatever... maybe it could be "amoryflexible," skip the poly bit all together.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Don't know how active the bisexual movement atm is, but there was furious head-butting back in the day (mostly before my day, or during the days I still frequented Pampers) over the place of "B" in the GLBT. It used to just be gay lib, then girls got invited too, and then some of the girls thought it was wrong to let the bisexual crowd in. Lots of drama over whether bisexuals should be allowed to march under their own banner in Pride or some such.
I used to host a Lesbian radio show back then and was struggling with my identity as a Lesbian. I remember all that well. Bi women were not allowed to be on the show because they confused the audience and soiled the Lesbian communities name ... so I kept my mouth shut
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  #37  
Old 08-26-2011, 06:30 AM
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When I asked BU if there was a movement, I was being... a bit sarcastic. What exactly is a "bisexual movement" and what does it stand for? I think perhaps it would have been more correct to refer to either a bisexual culture or a bisexual rights movement. I can't help but be a stickler about the use of language, sorry. I think NK and TP got what I meant, though. I didn't expect it to spin off into big discussions, as I was being somewhat snarky about it.
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  #38  
Old 08-26-2011, 12:00 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
When I asked BU if there was a movement, I was being... a bit sarcastic. What exactly is a "bisexual movement" and what does it stand for? I think perhaps it would have been more correct to refer to either a bisexual culture or a bisexual rights movement. I can't help but be a stickler about the use of language, sorry. I think NK and TP got what I meant, though. I didn't expect it to spin off into big discussions, as I was being somewhat snarky about it.
"Bisexual culture" makes me cringe more intensely than "poly lifestyle."

Jus' sayin'.
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  #39  
Old 08-26-2011, 12:48 PM
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Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
"Bisexual culture" makes me cringe more intensely than "poly lifestyle."
Especially because most people are bisexual... those that are truly gay or straight are the minority. Our homophobic culture causes many, especially men, to deny their attraction to their own gender. Our black/white ways of thinking probably cause women to claim lesbianhood, and men to choose calling themselves gay, just to "fit in" with a tribe, who would otherwise acknowledge their attraction to, and experience with, the opposite gender.
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  #40  
Old 08-26-2011, 02:09 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Especially because most people are bisexual... those that are truly gay or straight are the minority. Our homophobic culture causes many, especially men, to deny their attraction to their own gender. Our black/white ways of thinking probably cause women to claim lesbianhood, and men to choose calling themselves gay, just to "fit in" with a tribe, who would otherwise acknowledge their attraction to, and experience with, the opposite gender.


I did that for a year or two. I happened to be in love with a female so i say i " thought i was gay". But i didn"t realize i was trying to fit in, not with a gay community, but just into the world around me as a gay person, whatever the hell that was supposed to mean... I am sure this was as ridiculous then as it sounds now.
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