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Old 08-23-2011, 04:37 AM
MeeraReed MeeraReed is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: East Coast, U.S.
Posts: 348

Please, please, PLEASE take your kids and get out RIGHT NOW.

Forget gathering evidence or planning for a long-term future. Your husband sounds DANGEROUS. Go to a shelter if you don't want to go to your mother's.

Do you have a friend who could come over to help you pack while your back is injured? Do you have a friend you could stay with in an emergency? Because this sounds like an EMERGENCY.

The part about him injuring you--deliberately???--during the back rub compelled me to write this. This situation is WRONG and you must GET OUT IMMEDIATELY.

Go to your mom's for the short term, and don't sign anything or let her bully you. (Yes, she does sound insane as well, but she will not physically harm you--and your husband already has).

Don't worry about disrupting the kids' school routine. Getting all of you out of this situation is WAY more important than school. Missed school can be made up later. Kids can recover from moving to a new school or whatever. They cannot recover from something happening to their mother because their father is INSANE.

Please, please treat this like the emergency it is and take yourself and your children out of this house. Even if you must go to a shelter--which may help because they will have resources like lawyers.

Don't distract yourself by regretting the last 10 years. You've gotten two children and a lot of life wisdom out of this.

Now is the time to go somewhere safe. Then you can begin divorce proceedings and get advice about how to obtain full custody of your kids.

I liked your comments about your views on polyamory and relationships. I know that you will someday obtain the life you want. But that's an issue for later. Now, the most important thing you need to do is get away from this sadistic, controlling man.

You sound like a strong, smart woman who will be able to find the inner resources to get out of this.

Please hurry. This situation is NOT OKAY.
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Old 08-23-2011, 05:10 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,059

He may be schizophrenic, or something else. Nevertheless, it does sound like you are in a really bad and increasingly dangerous situation. I agree with everyone here who has said you should get out now. Even if it's just to a neighbor so you can make calls without fear of him catching you. or go to the police station and ask for assistance. Plus, I don't think it would be your state's Welfare office that would help you although I'm sure they can refer you to another agency.

Go here to find a safe house or women's shelter in your state:

Another helpful, informative website:

And if you know where he keeps that gun, before you leave, hide it somewhere he can't find it!
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein

Last edited by nycindie; 08-23-2011 at 07:21 AM.
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domestic abuse, safety

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