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Old 01-07-2012, 05:04 PM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 712

My faith is a curious, curious thing to me. I was 'born' Christian, and baptized, in the baptist church; but that was to make grandma happy, as my parents had bailed on the church years before me. As teens, they both saw the hypocrits and decided they could do without. But grandma was a true believer. She always took me to church with her when I was little. Up til I was eight, when she died. I asked my parents to take me after, and they would not. They said I could go, but I would have to walk. It was only two blocks, but it was across a busy street and I was scared. I went, but I got really pissed off at god for it. That was in grandma's town, not where I lived.

As a teen, mom went a Unitarian Universalist church to meet men. I was in the youth group. It was the first place I had pot. Yah, they call it Liberal Religious Youth for a reason.

As an adult, I've attended a variety of services everywhere, and after twenty years of attendance, I became a member of my Unity church (and then quit going).

I went to a pagan-con (Ancient Ways) and it was fabulous. I met a guy at dinner and he asked how long I'd been pagan. I made like looking at my wrist and said, well, I got here at about 1pm.

Pagan makes sense to me. I understand looking at the earth trying to take meaning from what goes on day to day. I understand ascribing to virtues we interpret from the land and the weather and the animals.

I don't understand blind adherence to ritual in anything. I am a thinking person. That said, I loved the ritual at Unity (it was when it changed that I quit). I love ritual, I can't stand 'true believers'.

My men are fairly staunch atheists, and men of reason and science. One of them feels like he lost his faith while working in the woods (for a LONG time). I don't quite understand it, but I think it's about if god's so great and powerful, why does he allow humans to fuck up the earth so badly.

The other thing is that I've had many 'spiritual experiences'. I've had that piece of my brain light up that tells me 'god's in his heaven and all's right with the world'. I've had experiences that cannot be adequately shared or explained. I like to try, but people just look at me as if I've grown horns. My concept of god is so much bigger than what's described in most religious documents. I have worked out a very personal way to explain the universe to myself, and it supports me and works for me. I wish I could share it, but I think people have to work it out for themselves.

My men say they've not had such experiences. There are plenty of people who have had such experiences that do not call them 'spiritual'. I wonder if some religions stem from that ~ someone (or someones) have such an experience and want everyone to have it, so they preach, do this, and you will have this wonderful experience too (love god, do as god says, meditate, reach enlightenment, get your 70 virgins, whatever)

I don't preach, and my men try not to deride me.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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Old 01-13-2012, 01:02 AM
Iktomi Iktomi is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: NW Wisconsin
Posts: 24

i haven't read the others' posts yet, i'll go back and read them, but i have to say off the bat, that your SO is struggling with your christianity in the same way that others struggle with polyamory- that is, she has a fixed definition in her mind of what it means, and struggles to come to terms with the reality that religions mean different things to different people. i wonder if you wrote a few journal entries on what religion means to you, and how it complements your life, if she might get a better picture.

my sister is christian (i am not), but she is very mystic in her beliefs. my pagan friends were at first very worried about her, but after conversing with her, soon found out that their fears were unfounded. i think that sometimes the image of 'a christian person' is set in their minds and it takes a while to change that perception.

i would be hesitant to date a christian person, mostly because i don't want to date anyone who thinks i'm going to hell because i'm pagan. christians who don't believe in hell, or don't believe that unbelievers are going to hell... those kinds of christians i could date.

i also don't believe that anyone who asks you to give up your beliefs for them is someone worth pursuing. your SOs should accept and love you for who you are, and your beliefs strongly influence what kind of person you are.
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Old 06-10-2012, 07:59 PM
Quietfever Quietfever is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 20

I'm a polytheist with an active practice of that polytheism but I probably have more in common with the OP and many born again Christians than I would with someone who didn't believe in ANYTHING. We have in common that we believe in something, it's the contents of the belief that are different. Religious people of different faiths have more in common with each other than either has with totally non religious people.

Some religions play together better than others - on my "okay list" for dating are Unitarian Universalist (in fact my main attendance is at a UU church), Buddhist, pagan, a more liberal Christian, among other systems... but I've actually had worse experience with atheist/skeptic types than anyone else despite the fact that we both believe in science and evolution and have common political views. It falls apart at the actual belief level.
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Old 06-10-2012, 10:34 PM
PinkDragon PinkDragon is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 90

Huh, this is a very interesting thread.

Both Bear and I identify as born-again, Spirit-filled Christians. And neither of us would date someone that does not identify as Christian. That's one of our deal-breakers.
Pinky, 41, f, bi. Married to Bear, 42, m, straight.
Not dating anyone right now.

I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.--EAP
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