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Old 08-04-2011, 07:40 PM
justlost's Avatar
justlost justlost is offline
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Rocky Mtn. Front Range
Posts: 38
Default Finding myself

Hi, I am new to the poly world. I am married for 10+ years and have 4 mostly grown children. My husband has come forward as poly and we are trying to work through this. I am mono, hurt, confused, hopeless, hopeful and just lost...
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Old 08-07-2011, 06:50 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Welcome aboard.

You'll find quite a bit of discussion centered on monofolk adjusting to their partner coming out as poly. We have several active members in a position akin to yours and I suspect they'll be happy to add you to the conversations.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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Old 08-07-2011, 07:18 PM
Clyde Clyde is offline
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 13

Hi justlost. I joined after lurking here for a few years for essentially the same reason as you--trying to understand what's happening--except that our roles are reversed. I recently broached the subject with my wife of more than 30 years, not helpfully summarizing us as "non-practicing poly" (me) and "serial monogamist" (her), when in fact I'm mostly confused by my feelings and she is upset by (what I've managed to convey of) them, and by what I perceive to be the cause of them.

Not sure I can offer any insight but in my case the roots may go back to my adolescence & just snowball from there. That would have to be confirmed by a psychotherapist however, and things would have get more out of hand than they are for me to consider it.

AutumnalTone -- thanks for the guidance.
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