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  #411  
Old 09-16-2013, 08:53 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Yay, how exciting! Fingers are crossed for you guys!
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- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
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  #412  
Old 09-17-2013, 09:07 PM
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Mya Mya is offline
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Thanks RainyGrlJenny!

We got the place, yay! It's a really nice place, I'm so happy!

JJ's visit was good, we had a great time together. And I very recently also got a promotion at work. I have two awesome partners who I love more than I can say. Now I get to live with one of them and plan dates with the other a bit more freely than before, schedule-wise. I couldn't be happier.
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Last edited by Mya; 09-18-2013 at 07:41 AM.
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  #413  
Old 09-18-2013, 02:57 PM
Nox Nox is offline
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Congratulations! I hope for the best!
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  #414  
Old 10-10-2013, 05:35 PM
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Mya Mya is offline
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Thanks evad!

So now we've lived in our new place for about 3 weeks. The first week was pretty much organising everything and in the second week Hank started his course. I previously called it a job here, but it's basically a short but intense course followed by a job if everything goes according to plan. So he's been on the course for a couple of weeks now. It takes up most of his time and when he's not working on the course, he's usually quite tired. So, farewell sex life for the duration of the course. Well, not farewell completely of course, but almost. The first week he was on the course I felt sad most of the days. I felt like I barely saw him even though we live together and I was really craving for sex and wasn't getting it. Now I've already gotten used to it and I'm not expecting anything. I'm just enjoying the time we do get together and waiting for the course to end, hoping for things to return to normal then. It's all about expectations isn't it? So it's all good.

Last weekend we went to a party. I had sex with two new people, one on the night of the party and the other the next day when people were just hanging around in the house after the party. (It's a big house.) Had a good time. I feel like this weird sex drive increase is changing me and how I make decisions. I never used to be a one night stand kinda girl, but apparently I am now, at least if I'm not getting enough sex from partners. I'm not sure if this is a continuing trend, but it feels a bit strange and I don't know what to make of that.
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  #415  
Old 10-12-2013, 12:55 AM
MeeraReed MeeraReed is offline
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I'm always glad to hear your updates, Mya!
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  #416  
Old 10-27-2013, 09:29 PM
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Mya Mya is offline
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Thanks Meera!

Me and Hank had a bit of a rough time with not getting enough time together due to his course, but I think we're in a better place with it now. We've managed to schedule one evening a week for us. Obviously we see each other on some of the other evenings as well, but it's very unpredictable, so sometimes it's like 2 hours and sometimes Hank comes home late in the evening and goes straight to bed. So I only know I'm going to see him that one evening a week. Which is way better than before when we didn't have a plan, it was just like 'We live together, so surely we'll see each other often enough'. We had a really good conversation about this a week ago. I felt we both understood each other better and were able to reach some conclusions. I felt deeply connected, heard and understood.

I had a birthday party this weekend and it was great! I was with Hank on Friday evening and rory was here almost the whole weekend. I got a lot of alone time with her, as well as time with both rory and Hank together. It was really good. Rory has started dating (very early days, they've been on two dates so far) a person I knew before she did, they met at mine and Hank's housewarming. I'll call her Lily. So Lily was at my birthday party as well. I really like that rory and Lily are dating. I was actually looking for a place with Lily and another poly woman before me and Hank decided to move in together. If that had happened, rory would now be dating two people who live in the same apartment. Anyway, obviously I like Lily, otherwise I wouldn't have considered living with her in the first place. So I am happy that they've found each other. It's too early to say anything yet, so we'll see how it goes, but they do seem to like each other.
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  #417  
Old 10-27-2013, 10:26 PM
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Mya Mya is offline
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I feel like I'm vaguely interested in different ways in several people at the moment. I have a date with one of them next week and I am looking forward to it. She asked me out and I do think she's really nice, but I just don't know her very well yet to say anything more than that. We'll see how it goes. I'm also a bit interested in a guy I met at a poly event that I went to recently - which is also where I met the woman I'm going out with next week. Me and the guy spent a lot of time cuddling there (as did many other people as well, there was a cuddle pile kind of thing). After the cuddling I asked him if he'd like a kiss and he said 'Just a little one'. So we had a little kiss. I felt half-rejected after that one, so I don't know if he's into me or not. Then there's one of the guys I had sex with that I wrote about recently; I wouldn't mind doing that again. I'm also seeing Evan next week, the first time we're meeting up one-on-one after the break-up. The last time I saw him (at a party) I told him that I'm pretty much over the romantic feelings I had for him but I would still be open to having sex with him if he's interested. He said 'I'll definitely keep that in mind'. So we'll see, I don't know if it's going to happen or not, but I'm open to the idea.
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  #418  
Old 10-31-2013, 01:42 PM
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Mya Mya is offline
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Me and rory had quite a difficult and emotional conversation that lasted for several days. It was mostly through messages and then she said she needs a break from the conversation to deal with it. A couple of days after that we talked on the phone about it and we're good now. But man, that was rough. We were both pretty down about it for days. I don't want to go into the subject of it that deeply, but basically I criticized her about a thing she does regularly and she considers that to be a part of her personality and finds it difficult to change. And also, it might not even be healthy to change yourself for someone else. So she felt bad about acting that way but also about me trying to change her and I felt bad about being the jerk who wants to change their partner. We're okay now, she'll try to take that into consideration in the future and I try to accept her as she is since nobody's perfect.

After that and dealing with the time management thing with Hank very recently, I feel kinda exhausted. I don't want to have another heavy relationship conversation in a while. And that made me think again about this dating thing. I'm back on OKC because I feel I have a lot of time on my hands even though I have two partners. I haven't messaged anyone there yet, because I'm still figuring out what I actually want. I think it's clear that I want more sex in my life. But whenever I see a profile that suggests the person is there only for sex, it's a big turn-off for me. Conflicted! If I could choose, I'd just want to have more sex with my current partners, but that's not up to me entirely. I don't know what to do. I guess I'd need some sort of a FWB or a fuckbuddy or something, but I don't seem to be very good at that.

I have a date today, the one I mentioned in my previous post. I know it's only a date, doesn't mean anything yet, but I'm still nervous that I won't be able to give whatever she is expecting. I feel like there's a big chance that I will disappoint her. Obviously I don't even know what she wants, but the reason why I feel like I'm failing somehow is that I don't know what I want, at all. Not just from her, but from anybody. I have no idea what I'm doing! I think I might be open to having a third romantic relationship if I felt really strongly towards someone and felt like I had almost no choice but to be with them. Kinda like what happened with Hank in the beginning. But at the same time I rationally think maybe I shouldn't deliberately put myself in a position where that could happen if I'm this exhausted already. I really don't know if it would be worth it. I guess I'll just have to go with the flow and see what happens. I just feel really insecure right now.
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  #419  
Old 11-02-2013, 11:31 AM
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Mya Mya is offline
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The date was gooood! I had a lovely time. She's a really good kisser as well. Mmm.. I talked about my situation and how I don't know what I want or am able to give right now. Luckily she's also really busy, so we agreed to make this as low pressure as possible. That was a relief. We have another date planned in a couple of weeks. We'll see what happens. I think I'll need to name her now. I'll call her Maxine.
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  #420  
Old 11-20-2013, 12:21 PM
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Mya Mya is offline
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Things seem to go quite nicely for rory and Lily. I continue being happy for them. The thing is, it's very easy being ok with what she does, because whenever rory has something new in her life, a person, a hobby, anything, she always makes time for me regardless. That makes me feel really safe and loved. I feel like I can trust her and I genuinely believe she wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her. We've been seeing each other twice a week for pretty much the whole time we've lived in the same city, even though both of our situations have varied a lot.

Hank and Janet is a bit different. Of course I'm also happy for Hank that he's dating someone he likes and he seems happy. But the thing is, ever since they started dating there's been a few situations where he has chosen her over me and that stings. The last time was actually pretty recently. Because of his intense work/course schedule we had set aside a time to spend together on a Saturday - or that's what I thought. On Thursday he informs me that he's seeing Janet on Saturday. I said I thought we had plans then. He said he hadn't realised (and didn't check Google calendar, it was marked there). Even so, he still wanted to see her. She doesn't live in our city and happened to be visiting just then. So screw our plans, Janet's in town! I'm still not totally over that, especially since that's not the only time something like this has happened. Hank tried to organise another time that weekend when we could see each other but there really weren't any good options. I had plans with friends on Friday that I had agreed to a long time ago, so didn't want to cancel that. Me and Hank were supposed to see each other briefly after his course and before me meeting my friends, which was about 45 minutes. During that time I started talking about how hurt I was when he canceled our plans on Saturday when there really wasn't another time that could be moved to. He suggested we could still hang out a bit after I come home on that Friday evening, but that's really not the same since I was planning on staying out quite late. Well, I then decided I would leave earlier just to spend some time with him in the evening. But then the conversation got so emotional and I became so sad that I didn't want to go anymore. I was not in the mood to have fun. So I messaged my friends (it was a large group, so I wasn't abandoning a single friend) to say I won't be able to make it after all. We went home, I cried a lot and then we had the biggest fight we've ever had. We yelled at each other, which is something neither of us do normally. And that was the first time we've ever done that to each other. It was horrible. I guess we both felt misunderstood by the other one and became more and more frustrated. But then we took a bath together and calmed down. We talked about it more calmly and eventually managed to go to bed not angry. Even though that has been resolved and I've forgiven him, I'm still feeling a bit insecure. And that directly influences how I feel about Hank and Janet dating. I'm not restricting them in any way, Hank is free to make his own choices regarding this, but I know it's going to take some time before I can feel compersion again.

I've been on two dates with Maxine so far. It has been really nice. I'm still a bit unsure about what I want with her and I don't have very strong feelings yet, but it's only been two dates so I guess that's normal. We have a third date set up already and I am looking forward to it. I bumped into her yesterday and it felt really nice to see her like that, unexpectedly. I like spending time with her, but time will tell whether it will grow into anything more.

Then I finally met up with Evan the other day. We've been trying to make that happen for a while now, but something has always come up. So it's been almost four months since we broke up and this was the first time we've seen each other one-on-one after that. We've seen each other a few times at parties because we have a lot of mutual friends. It was really really nice to see him.. almost too nice. He's so much fun to hang out with and still oh so attractive to me. He brought up that he thinks it wouldn't be a good idea at the moment to start sleeping together as friends. He's had some relationship drama lately and he doesn't want to start overthinking what it would mean if we started doing that. That's probably wise. I told him that I'm open to pretty much anything happening between us in the future and that being platonic friends is also a good thing. He said he appreciates that and just wants to be quite cautious right now. I think we were both kinda surprised how nice it was to hang out again and when he left we hugged for quite a long time. It felt really warm. When I was home alone, I just had to cry. Before seeing him I was so sure I was over him. Well, I guess it's easier to be over someone if you don't really even see them. But now I have to admit that the feeling is still there. Maybe not as strong as before, but it's definitely there. I hope it gets easier with time because I do want to hang out with him again.
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