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  #21  
Old 08-02-2011, 03:31 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Imapolygirlmaybe View Post
gOOD Grief what is this HIGH SCHOOL? It's like a pack of "mean girls".
Wow, how can you say that after Imaginary Illusion and I took the time to quietly and respectfully explain the unfortunate unclarity of the standard FAQs, and where to find the specific user guidelines?

Admittedly, Neon's frustration over many people's requests to have posts deleted leaked into her posts, but this attitude we are all against you does not bode well for your participation here. Nor for being poly itself, if I may extrapolate.

I think some big girl panties are sitting in a drawer unused here...
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  #22  
Old 08-02-2011, 06:25 PM
Imapolygirlmaybe Imapolygirlmaybe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Wow, how can you say that after Imaginary Illusion and I took the time to quietly and respectfully explain the unfortunate unclarity of the standard FAQs, and where to find the specific user guidelines?

Admittedly, Neon's frustration over many people's requests to have posts deleted leaked into her posts, but this attitude we are all against you does not bode well for your participation here. Nor for being poly itself, if I may extrapolate.

I think some big girl panties are sitting in a drawer unused here...
If Neon is a moderator it is her job (or should be maybe you guys don't have standards like forums I am accostumed to) to not take it out on new members. What does that say about the board as a whole? I posted a VERY OBVIOUS discrepancy in the FAQ'S here after NEON chastised me for asking about it. If you ask me SHE has some big girl panties that are unused...as do you for cheering her on.

In Neon's own words:

I take this Personally because i have done a lot to try to organize the information on here so that it is easy to find, and i know redpepper has done the same when it comes to tagging threads. I tend to receive it somewhat disrespectfully when someone comes on and asks "how do i deal with jealousy" or "does anyone have any coming-out stories" etc. because that tells me they haven't done any browsing arou d the forum as these two topics are both tagged and in Golden Nuggets. Golden Nuggets is right in the main directory on the main page of the forum and it says right underneath it "Posts worthwhile to read". How someone "can't find it" makes me wonder how you find the stuff to register and post here in the first place.

Saying things like "makes me wonder how you find the stuff to register and post here in the first place" makes a user WHO DID ask a question feel negatively.

And then saying things like
Perhaps if more people read that we wouldn't be getting a request to delete posts every other day from people who think they are so special the rules don't apply to them. Then they complain that the rules are "hard to find". Horsefeathers.

I was the one that posted about deleting posts. IT WAS ME. I didnt post it because I thought I was special BUT BECAUSE YOUR FAQ'S WERE UNCLEAR. Excuse me for not scouring the entire site after reading YOUR FAQ'S that were unclear.

And another example of Neon's sarcasm:
Sorry i made you feel like a total moron. Is there anything i can say that will make you feel like a total genius, as a way of making it up to you?

Then I further enjoyed the banter between you and she:
Thanks Mags. I rescind my apology.if someone decides to feel like a "total idiot", that's fine by me.

and your reply:
Neon, you're such a brat.
It's like you are cheering her on? You should get some pom poms and put your hair in pigtails.

Then this rude statement:

I wish people would just own the fact that they didn't bother to read the rules because they were eager to start posting. I'd respect that as opposed to "Wah! I can't FIND it! You need to make things easier to find! You make me feel stupid!"

I READ THE RULES, THEY WERE UNCLEAR...WHAT PART OF THAT DO YOU PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND...IT WAS EVEN ACKNOWLEDGED by ImaginaryIllusion but yet people are still trying to make it out like I had no reason to be confused and I should have just kept searching the site for the answer.

I was chastised by Nycindie for calling polyamory a lifestyle. I think it's HILARIOUS though that she removed that post.

imaginaryillusion actually posted THIS on that thread:
This wasn't really the thread to reopen the lifestyle debate with a new arrival anyways.

I think the actual question about the edit window has been answered, so this thread should be just about wrapped.


So obviously Imaginaryillusion has some sense and knows it's probably a bad idea to be sparring over insignificant things with NEWBIES. Thanks to her for being kind to me in all her posts even if I was not "extremely intelligent" like some of the members here like to say they are.

Thanks to those who were sincere and kind to me. I appreciate that.

As for you "extropolating"....go ahead. Knock yourself out, I find it humorous that you would judge whether I was right for poly or not based on the fact that I stand up for myself when someone is out and out rude for no reason OVER SOMETHING SO SILLY AS SOME RULES ON AN INTERNET FORUM. Do none of you realize that in the grande scheme of life THAT IS INSIGNIFICANT AND WE SHOULD ALL BE KIND TO EACH OTHER?

It all boils down to this "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." I try to live by this but sometimes some people make it very difficult.
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  #23  
Old 08-02-2011, 07:08 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I think this is all just a case of misunderstanding the tone of the written word. My pointing out other threads to you regarding something you wrote was not chastising. NK saying that people don't look for the rules and then ask for special treatment was not singling you out. You're overreacting. Especially since it was all handled and done with, but you keep resurrecting it to complain about how mean we are.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 08-02-2011 at 07:12 PM.
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  #24  
Old 08-02-2011, 07:19 PM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
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And yet this thread just keeps on trucking....

Yes, mods should set the standard of behavior, and users are people.
Mods are also people with the same human qualities, better or worse as anyone else, and users also should set the standard.

The edit question has been answered, and the dead end in the FAQ's has been pointed out and should be addressed. (Imapolygirlmaybe if you take a look at the FAQ area's now, would it have led you to the information you were missing?)

Words have been exchanged, tempers triggered and feeling hurt. There doesn't need to be kissing and making up (as much fun as that should be...especially with enough Lube), but we should be able to at least move on.

I'll leave this open for the moment, but if it continues to degenerate to further he said she said, I'll lock it down and people can find another thread to argue in.
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  #25  
Old 08-02-2011, 07:29 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Hey, Ima.

See post #20 in this thread (above).

Read it.

Then put yourself on ice.

The End.
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  #26  
Old 08-02-2011, 07:31 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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PS - Imaginary Illusion is a man, FYI.
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  #27  
Old 08-02-2011, 07:48 PM
Imapolygirlmaybe Imapolygirlmaybe is offline
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My apologies to imaginaryillusion for thinking you were female. I am so new to the board I don't know who is a she or he yet.

I wish you all well.
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  #28  
Old 08-02-2011, 07:50 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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It's ok. Someone thought i was a guy the other day. It's not uncommon.
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  #29  
Old 08-02-2011, 07:55 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Imapolygirlmaybe View Post
My apologies to imaginaryillusion for thinking you were female. I am so new to the board I don't know who is a she or he yet.
If you click on a person's username and visit the link to their public profile, most of them indicate sex/gender. If not, there is a thread where people have posted their orientation: A request: state your gender and sexual preference
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #30  
Old 08-04-2011, 06:35 PM
trueRiver trueRiver is offline
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Default instructions come in two forms

I agree with imapolygirlmaybe.

it is confusing.

what is going on is that there are two sets of instructions:

one set came with the software that runs this forum, this describes all the things that the software can do, but most of these are things that the mods can choose to do, choose to disable, or can choose to set specific limits. This is what imapolygirlmaybe has quoted from.

secondly, in the FAQ forum is the explanation of what settings have actually been chosen by the admins and moderators since the software was installed.

The reason it is confusing is that the user does not realise that one set of instructions is for the illuminati and the other for beginners. That is not down to the mods and admins, it is the way a lot of software is written, but that does not help the end user.

I hope it will help the admins and mods to understand that complaints like the one we have just seen are not usually a comment on their own efforts or their own skills.

Hacking the text that imapolygirlmaybe quoted is usually a harder job than changing the FAQ, due to the way this kind of software is put together. That may be why it has not been done.

one suggestion I would make is to put into the FAQ a note that the notes in the FAQ are more specific thanthe ones quoted, and where the details differ to go with the FAQ.

I too hope you stay, imapolygirlmaybe
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