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  #11  
Old 08-04-2011, 03:53 PM
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nicothoe nicothoe is offline
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Smile Skirts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by River View Post
nicothoe,

Actually, lately I've been thinking of getting a skirt to wear around the house. I'm not feeling bold enough to go out in pubic wearing one, yet! But if lots of guys would do it ... I'd join in.
Lately, I have been wearing my sarongs about the house. The are light and comfy, and perfect for the hot weather. First time I wore a sarong was when I went camping, and most of the other guys were wearing them. Granted, it took me until the last day to finally get me in one. I haven't looked back.
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  #12  
Old 08-04-2011, 03:56 PM
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That's so rong! (just kidding)
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  #13  
Old 08-04-2011, 04:35 PM
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rubyslippers rubyslippers is offline
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Arrow only real secure men wear sarongs...

over the past year i have bought the two men i was closest to, sarongs...each to fit their personality....
D's was a birthday present...and as bright blue as his eyes....as a runner/rower/weightlifter he is stunning in it. Haven't seen him in a long long while, but he wore it well and securely.
C's was a Christmas present...lt. blue with pretty colorful fish all round...

The best sarong-wearing man I have known, was a local Southern boy, shaved head thick neck, broad shouldered...who wore his PINK sarong shirtless into Circle K...he had a big smile and a cowboy lid and was a great fan of NASCAR and built his own racecars too. He'sd tell me...only a REAL man can wear a sarong...
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  #14  
Old 08-04-2011, 05:56 PM
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evrchanging evrchanging is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by River View Post
"Recovering for PPD probably helped a lot too."

PPD?
Postpartum Depression
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  #15  
Old 08-04-2011, 06:20 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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My crappy relationships were a direct result of low self esteem. I never would have been with those people if i was feeling good about myself.

Now, when wondering if a relationship is "healthy", i ask myself "do i feel good about myself when i'm with this person or after being with them, and does this person lift me up or do they drag me down?"
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  #16  
Old 08-05-2011, 02:44 AM
NobodySpecial NobodySpecial is offline
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How important is self esteem in the creation of healthy, loving relationships?

I believe that your self esteem issues affect your partner(s). It is their self esteem that bounces their reaction at you upward or downward. Downward spirals are not fun.

How is self esteem furthered where it is insufficient?

Addressing our feelings of insufficiency, and working to advance whatever that underlying cause is.

On a scale of 0 -10, with 0 being the least and 10 being the most of healty self esteem, where is your average placement on the scale over the last year?

As accurate as any self rating system can be (compounded with interpretation by another) ... I'd say a 7.

Has your placement on that scale changed in recent time?

About 8 months ago, it spiked up then way down. It took a few months to come back up.

If yes, why/how do you think it has changed?

Simply, I vested too much of my emotions into someone that really didn't want them, and did not communicate well at all.
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  #17  
Old 08-05-2011, 04:49 PM
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How important is self esteem in the creation of healthy, loving relationships?

I don't think I have had a healthy level of self-esteem for a few years, but I have the same partner so in a way that is good. In other ways it is bad, as I have devalued myself, so I have been devalued.. now as he is getting stronger in himself and finding the strength to get his needs/wants/desires met... I am lost and behind... so anyway I think it is very important in the maintaining of healthy, loving relationships.

How is self esteem furthered where it is insufficient?

Finding a place inside that is quiet and without the negative self-talk to explore who I am and who I want to be. Exercise to built a positive body image as well as increasing pain tolerance. Nature to feed the soul, painting/sculpting to free the inner me.

On a scale of 0 -10, with 0 being the least and 10 being the most of healthy self esteem, where is your average placement on the scale over the last year?

1,2,3

Has your placement on that scale changed in recent time?


should of put 3, 2, 1 ....... not ready to step in front of a train or anything but ready to start moving up instead of down!

If yes, why/how do you think it has changed?

well this last year has been very hard, big changes with my spouse as he has come forward with some things that he has been keeping secret as well as his need to be poly (not sure I said that right, still don't really understand) and finding myself slipping down a dark spiral, struggling now to climb back up.
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  #18  
Old 08-05-2011, 06:05 PM
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Arrow self esteem

Some questions for discussion:


1.How important is self esteem in the creation of healthy, loving relationships?

Its importance cannot be overstated.

2.How is self esteem furthered where it is insufficient?

Self nuture (Painting your toenails in freakishly beautiful colors...
and being around people who have good self esteem;
nature, painting, accomplishing small or large goals, "puttering" and other centering activities;
realizing the only control one has in life, is over one's outward reactions.

Do not react in anger...Self esteem also furthered by realizing it is not just OK but okey-dokey fine to be a human "being" as opposed to a human "doing"...And realizing most of life is shades or gray as opposed to black/white.
Accepting and realizing, one doesn't need to take sides, judge, or be instructive to another human being.
Staying the HELL away from toxic sludgey people.

3. On a scale of 0 -10, with 0 being the least and 10 being the most of healty self esteem, where is your average placement on the scale over the last year?

I am certainly not all that and a bag o chips...or egotistical...but i would say a 9 or 10. I have had benefit of therapy for PTSD and major depression with a truly amazing team: my beloved Dr. Ed L., psychiatrist Dr S-G as I call her, and one of her therapists, Alicia D. who has since left that practice. They saved my life and brought me life out of the darkness of what can only be called domestic violence in the workplace. Perseverance served me well in life, but in this situation almost killed me. This team showed, it was not my fault. When I encounter the individual tormentors, I square my shoulders, take up way more personal space than I need, extending mine into theirs, and look through them if I cannot avoid a full frontal faceoff.


4. Has your placement on that scale changed in recent time
Not a whole lot in the past 7 years...

If yes, why/how do you think it has changed?

Please answer any or all of these questions. No pressure to answer all of them!

Also, please feel free to offer your own questions or comments, independent of my own.
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  #19  
Old 08-05-2011, 06:55 PM
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nicothoe nicothoe is offline
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My toenails are a presently a pretty purple color.
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  #20  
Old 08-05-2011, 06:57 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nicothoe View Post
My toenails are a presently a pretty purple color.
Ew I'd have that checked by a doctor if I were you.
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